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The First Child, who had quietly taken her seat as her fellow pilots bantered, looked unsure of herself for a fraction of a second. Then she said, "Pilot Soryu was merely trying to prove that she could skin an apple without breaking the peel. Unable to do so, she subsequently stated that I was better than here."

"O-o-o-ohooo!" crowed Touji. "So that's how it is, huh?"

"That was just one apple! One time!"

"You think you could do better? Better than Ayanami?"

"You betcha!" Asuka declared, "I could peel fifty apples."

The classroom fell silent for a moment, then Kensuke Aida whispered, "Nobody can peel fifty apples!"

Asuka froze up. Touji leaned forward, a predatory grin painted across his face. "You said you could peel anything."

"Have you ever peeled fifty apples?" The freckled boy looked around the classroom. "Has anyone?!"

"Nobody could ever peel fifty apples," Asuka said to herself, a sly smile creeping across her face.

Shinji's throat was very dry. Nevertheless he spoke up. "Rei could."

All eyes darted over to the normally sedate Third Child, including a pair of red eyes. The latter were graced by a frown. Slowly, in ones and two, the class looked to Rei Ayanami for confirmation. The First Child, unused to so much attention and feeling acutely uncomfortable blurted, "Yes?"

The reaction was mostly positive.

"Wow!' "I wish I could peel fifty apples!" "Amazing!" "Who'd have thought!" "I bet she gets a lot of practice peeling small animals!" "Fifty apples!" "She could too!" "Schiest!"

As stated, the reaction was MOSTLY positive.

Asuka Langley Soryu stood up and pointed at her fellow female pilot. "No way can you peel fifty apples!"

"I bet she could!" spouted Shinji, feeling delirious from being so forward, but enjoying putting the screws to Asuka. Being mean to people is kinda fun, he realized.

Touji Suzahara craned a long arm over and wrapped it around Shinji's shoulder. Loudly, he announced, "My boy here says Ayanami can peel fifty apples, she can peel fifty apples." Touji smiled at his former business partner. Asuka's face grew red at the betrayal and insinuation of humiliation.

"Yeah," said Kensuke, "but in how long?"

"Faster than Rei could, if she even tried!" shouted Asuka without a second thought.

Someone in the back of the class called out, "I'll take that wager!"

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Misato Katsuragi stepped through the door. "I'm home!"

No one answered back.

Shrugging off her uniform jacket, NERV's Operation Director walked into the kitchen, opened her fridge, and grabbed a beer. Before the pop-hiss of the aluminum can opening had faded, the empty beer can was tossed aside. Misato then reached for another beer. Upon coming up for a breather, she caught onto the spectacle in her midst.

Asuka Langley Soryu was seated at the kitchen table with her sleeves rolled up to her shoulders. Spread out before her on the table, and spilling over onto the floor in dozens of bowls, were apples. Peeled apples. Unpeeled apples. Half-peeled apples. There were hundreds of them. It was like an apple orchard had come along and taken a big fat greasy dump on the table, leaving bits of red, green, and yellow apples everywhere. In Asuka's juice-stained left hand was a shiny red apple. In her right hand was a small pairing knife.

"Young lady," she shouted, "why are we up to our BALLS in apple peels?!"

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Because I'm proving a point. Duh."

Misato found herself at a loss. "I what?!"

peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel slip

"Shiest!" snapped Asuka, then blithely tossed the used apple into the bucket nearest her feet. She reached for a new apple.

peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel peel slip

"Young lady, you are not throwing out all that food. It's a waste."

"Wow, geez, Misato! Really?! You think so? Well, maybe I would if there were any use for hundreds and hundreds of apples, I'd take up your suggestion." She waved off her guardian. "Now take your Second Impact Generation neuroses about the value of food and please leave. I'm busy."

"..."

.

THURSDAY

.

"Wow," said Hikari, "you brought enough food for the whole class!"

The apple pies, apple crisps, apple puddings, apple juices, apple sauces, dried apples, caramel-coated apples, and assorted baked goods derived from apples filled Classroom 2-A. There was, in fact, enough food not just for 2-A but also for the years above and below them.

Asuka rubbed her bloodshot eyes. "Yeah," she said, pausing to sip from her travel mug of double shot espresso. "I'm gaga over apples. You can use them for so very many things." She yawned.

"Yeah," Touji said, "but why the hell did you bring it here? What's your motivation?"

She couldn't say it was because Misato would only bring in ten pies for the NERV senior staff break room, so instead she said, "Because I'm... a generous person!"

"Really?" Touji retorted, wolfing down a thick slice of apple pie. "Because (chew) you're always (chewchew) such a pernicious bitch."

"Suzuhara!" bellowed the Class Rep. "Apologize to her right this instant!"

Asuka raised her brow in wonderment. "I'm not insulted. I'm just surprised he used the world 'pernicious' in a sentence. And that he used it in the right context."
_____________________________________________________________________________

The evening previous...

"Pernicious. P-E-R-N-I-C-I-O-U-S." Mari arranged the Scrabble pieces on the game board. "With a triple word score, that's ninety-two points."

"Mari, 'pernicious' is SO not a word. I'm calling you out."

"Fine!" Mari Suzahara said with a smug grin. "Go get the Dictionary and see! If you're wrong, you lose ten points."

"Ha. Right. I think I know a little something about English, sis. Prepare to be smacked down!"
_____________________________________________________________________________

"Don't judge me, Soryu. I have layers."

"Yeah. And they'll come off if you ever start using soap."

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“You can go Tafu.” Buffy told the Wookiee, who growled a farewell and left.

Buffy turned to the midget. “Please sit down, Jedi.”

Buffy had no plan on calling him Master. First the obvious link to the Master and second she didn’t like the Jedi that much. Taking children away from their mothers even if they were given voluntarily, didn’t sit well with Buffy.

Buffy had waved to a cushion close to her, but the Jedi sat as far as possible. That was Buffy’s first indication that something was wrong. She couldn’t remember having done something to offend the Jedi Knights. Instead of asking him, how she could help him she asked.

“What do you want?” Buffy had no interest to play nice if the Jedi wasn’t planning to do it also.

“Wookiee friends of my,” the Jedi spoke.

“Well, that speaks well of your character,” Buffy replied, not really knowing where the twerp was going.

“Know your intention toward the Wookiee, are?”

Buffy got angry know. The little twerp was accusing her of wanting to hurt ‘her’ people.

“Listen Kermit,” Buffy said standing up taking a few steps forward, ‘Kermit’ mimicked her. “Keep your cryptic chitchat for somebody who cares. What. Do. You. Want?”

“Great darkness and power in you I sense,” Yoda stated.

That was it. He felt the slayer and he couldn’t understand, that somebody could handle all that darkness and not go evil.

“What do you want?” Buffy asked again.

“Danger to Wookiees you are.”

Buffy had enough of it. She went into action. The Kermit sensed her attack a fraction of a second too late and Buffy was on him. One hand went around his throat and the other for the lightsaber, that the Twerp had half out. With a twist of her hand she had unarmed him.

“Now listen very carefully, Kermit. The next time you accuse me of being a danger to my people I’m going to rip you apart. Now leave my house.” Buffy said and threw the Twerp out of the door, she didn’t throw him as hard as she could. “And thanks for the present.” Buffy yelled after the Twerp disappeared through the door.

Buffy dropped back on her cushions, relying on her Wookiees to escort the Twerp out. She had always a Wookiee or two sitting outside of her rooms. She was sulking, but her curiosity got the better of herself and she was looking at her new, ‘acquired’ weapon. It looked only like a sword handle of half a foot long. There was a button on it and she pressed it a three foot long light blade appeared. Buffy waved it around.

“Cool.”

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"Whoopee ninja change the snake into dragon since that makes the jutsu more powerful, right?" he said and Tomiko-chan actually winced. Just few weeks ago Naruto wouldn't have seen how it was that big a deal, but then Hibari-sensei had taught him the vampire jutsu, and also told him that to make that little change would turn it into heart-exploding suicide jutsu. Who would have thought?

Sai poked Fū-san – and this could quickly get really confusing, having two Fūs around – first gently and then firmly. Fū-san turned to look at him and Sai tilted his head. Now Naruto was sure that the plastic smile was on place again. Baby steps, he thought, baby steps. Apparently Sai thought something similar about the man he had been pecking like a bird, because he pointed at Naruto, having decided that even play-pretend subtlety was right out. Fū-san sighed and gave in gracefully.

"Real ninja have their weapons custom made the second they can afford it," he said. Naruto was beginning to enjoy this game.

"Whoopee ninja have daddy's credit card and lots of catalogues." He was grinning. Then he realized no one was going to see it and got frustrated. Being expressive sucked when no one could see your face. Sure, he knew the shinobi rules said something about concealing your feelings, or maybe it was to not have any, but as a barefoot Konoha native taught by Kakashi-sensei, and one who had almost killed a really nice gender confused person called Haku who had then gone and died anyway, Naruto knew it was rubbish. Real shinobi made their own nindo and Naruto's was to never be less than he was. And he was expressive, dammit. He had to take this up with Old Man Hokage, the ANBU were trying to oppress him.

And Danzō-jerk was an evil mastermind. He probably kicked puppies for a hobby and stole candy from babies.

"I have also met a few of those, though only in passing," Fū-san volunteered. He spoke slowly, almost like he wasn't sure he should be talking at all. "There are rich lordlings in Edo who alone support half the prefecture's blacksmiths and seal makers."

"Don't feel too sorry for them, Dog," Tomiko-chan – Horse-chan, he should call her that since they were all masked up – warned him. "With the allowance their rich daddies give them, they can afford it. And I know some perfectly nice blacksmiths in the capital who should only soak them for every yen they can get." And her voice wasn't so flat anymore. There was something in it, primness and a hint of something else. Naruto guessed she liked blacksmiths for some reason. Blacksmiths? He had wondered about that for quite some time…

"Have you ever thought about the colour scheme thing?" he asked Sai. Not that he was excluding Horse-chan and Dog-san, he made a point to never exclude anyone, but Sai was the one he was looking at.

"Colour scheme of what?" Sai asked him back.

"You know how the bad guys always wear black, right? And practising the dark arts is a bad thing and the light side is the good guys. Smith is the person who makes smithy things, so is being called blacksmith some kind of moralist statement?" Cause he could see how Buddhists thought that making weapons was wrong. Maybe their propaganda had infiltrated the shinobi world's unconscious. Not the kind of unconsciousness that left you lying on your back with bump in your head, but the not-conscious-level-of-thinking unconscious… Or was it subconscious?

And now everybody was looking at him. Fū-san came within a hair's breath from running into a tree and from ANBU that was something.

"Sometimes I really wonder how your mind works," Sai spoke his mind. Naruto shrugged.

"Lots of people do. My thought processes made the psych ninja cry once, in the Academy, when they were making sure we weren't going to go nuts and kill people on them if they taught us something. Or it could've been the wasabi I put in her coffee. I'm not sure."

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"Yeah, I was told I look just like my grandfather when he was my age," Kyon agreed. He suddenly grimaced, muttering, "I hope that doesn't mean anything."