Neko Can't

 

By: James Lee

 

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. Gold Digger belongs to Fred Perry. Suing me would be pretty useless.

 

Part 7

 

            Ranma, Monique, Yuka, and Akane were still standing in the hall. Ranma found it rather odd the way Akane was glaring at him. The way he saw it, it was the Tendo girl's own fault that she didn't get to class on time.

            "Umm Yuka, what was fight about?" Monique asked Yuka.

            "It's all Kuno's fault!" Monique jumped back as Akane yelled out. Yuka then turned towards the dark skinned girl.

            "You see, last summer Kuno made this speech. He said that anyone who wanted to date Akane would have to defeat her in combat. Since then all the perverts in school have been attacking her every morning."

            "I see," said Ranma, looking thoughtful. "And the school tolerates this?"

            "Well Kuno is the principal's son."

             Monique blanched. "I hope he not try that with me."

            "I wouldn't worry," said Akane, her face somewhat softened. "The challenge was to date me. He doesn't seem to like you, so he probably won't want you dating here."

            Monique was about to speak again when the school speaker system came on.

 

            [(Sccceeeechh!) Now here this! I, Takiwaki Kuno, here by declare that if anyone wishes to date the fair Akane Tendo. They must first rid our noble school of the kokujin Monique Pincer! So I command!]

 

            Monique paled as she thought of all those boys attacking her. She then heard Ranma growling. Looking at him she could see he was shaking. He then started to walk away.

            "Hey! Where are you going?" yelled Akane. She couldn't believe this guy. Kuno makes one little threat and he was running away?

            "I'm going to make an announcement." Ranma said in a cold tone. Monique could only hope he didn't do something too rash.

 

 

            Nabiki looked at Kuno as he sat back down at his desk. "That's pretty low Kuno, even for you."

            "Ha! As if I have to justify my actions to you." Said a smug looking Kuno. He was sure that by tomorrow the foreign witch and her lackey would be gone. There was no way the cowardly cow would face the might of Furinken High, let alone his awesome power.

            Nabiki just shook her head; she couldn't help but think that Kuno had gone too far. Threatening her gung ho martial arts sister was one thing. Threatening a girl who probably didn't know how to defend herself was quite another. She then heard the school intercom system come on yet again.

 

            [Now hear this. I am Ranma Diggers. For those of those who don't know, I'm Monique's boyfriend. And now you're all going to listen to this announcement! If any of you primates even thinks of touching her, I'll feed you your ass. And if you don't think I can then I'll gladly meet Kuno on the soccer field after school. That is of course unless Mr. Kuno is a COWARD! Which he is, since he has others do his own dirty work! You hear me Kuno? I'm calling you out! You got the balls to face me or are you going to use someone else's?]

 

            Nabiki ducked, to avoid the steam coming out of Blue Blunder's ears. {Hmmm, not bad. He's been here less than half a day and he's already pushing Kuno's buttons.}

            "AARRRRGH! I will be there! And I will be ready to do battle and end that cretin's life!" screamed Kuno.

            {Yep, and I'll be there too. Making a fortune!} Thought Nabiki. She could just see the yen coming in.

 

Noon...

            "I can't believe your boyfriend's going to fight Kuno." Said Shori. She had decided to join Yuka and Monique for lunch.

            "Yes, this is what Ranma do." Said Monique. "He always likes to be hero."

            "Well he better watch himself. Kuno's the second best in the school and he's really good when he's angry." Akane warned, though a part of her wanted to see Ranma get pounded. How dare he suggest that she wasn't the best martial artist and that Kuno was holding back?

            "Well Ranma very good too, he also very smart. He win." {After all he does practice with a werecheetah.}

            "So Monique, what's Ranma like?" asked yet another girl.

            "Yeah, tell us."

            "Yeah, and how can you stand that perverted curse."

            Monique looked over to Akane who had asked the last question. When Ranma came back from the office he had shown the whole class the curse. He felt it would be better if he got it out of the way early on. He had gotten quite a few lecherous looks from some of the male students, but he maintained that despite his appearance, he was STILL a male, and warned them not to get any funny ideas. As for Akane, she thought it was just further proof that he was a pervert, even more so then the band of Hentai.

            The dark-skinned girl shrugged as she described her boyfriend.  "Umm well, he nice and very brave. I first meet him when I was being robbed. He came out of nowhere and beat robbers up."

            "Really, cool! So you and him have been dating a long time?"

            "Oh, only short time. It hard with Gina and Penny."

            "Who're Penny and Gina?" Asked Nabiki, joining the group's conversation.

            "Gina is Ranma's sister, Penny my cousin. They no like each other."

            "Wow! Just like Romeo and Juliet." Said Yuka with a sigh.

            "I hope not, no want Romeo and Juliet end." Replied Monique.

            "So why do they hate each other?"

            "They rival treasure hunters."

            Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Really."

            "Yes, they travel world in search of treasure and archeological finds. Ranma even works with Gina."

            "Interesting... So do they ever bring anything back?" Monique nodded and pulled something from her shirt.

            "Ranma give this to me after trip to Congo. Said he fight many big grey apes for it."

            "A dirty piece of quartz?" Akane snorted. Nabiki, who knew what it really was, looked at the uncut diamond with wide yen-pupiled eyes.

            "Well it small one." Said Monique, slightly embarrassed. Nabiki nearly choked. That diamond was the size of a large cockroach and she said it was one of the small ones!?

            "H-How big were the big ones."

            "Penny go to same mine. Bring back one size of softball."

            "S-Softballs?" asked Nabiki as her mouth nearly dropped to the floor. Monique nodded her head. The middle Tendo sister quickly thought about that and decided that she would have to work slowly. Ranma and Monique were both too valuable to make a quick profit off of. They were also much smarter than Kuno, so she decided it best if she stayed on their good side.

 

After school...

            Monique blinked as she looked at all the people gathered at the soccer field. It was almost like Monday Night Fights. She then noticed Nabiki and a few other girls surrounded by a noticeable crowd. Walking up, Monique decided to find out what was going on. She stopped however, at seeing the glares from several of the boys. Monique started to back away.

            "Hey Monique." Called Nabiki, as she made her way through the boys, glaring at the ones that didn't move fast enough. Although some of the boys grumbled, all quickly got out of Nabiki's way.

            "Umm hello, what going on?" Penny's cousin asked as she looked back at the boys.

            Nabiki smirked. "Oh that's just the Akane Tendo fan club. Don't worry they're just a bunch of bakas, just like Kuno."

            "Oh, so what you do?"

            "I'm taking bets on the fight between Ranma and the Blue Blunder."

            Monique stared at Nabiki. "Taking bets?"

            Nabiki looked at the dark skinned girl for a moment then continued. "Yeah. You'll find out I'm involved with lots of stuff. I run betting pools, loans, information services."

            "You do all that?" Nabiki nodded "Why?"

            Nabiki frowned. "I have my reasons. So, who do you think is going to win?"

            Monique was caught off guard by the sudden question. "Oh, umm Ranma."

            "Really? So what style does Ranma use?"

            "Don't know style. Just know he very good."

            Akane's sister nodded. If what she had seen that morning was any indication... "So is Ranma's father a powerful martial artist?"

            Monique shook her head. "No. I no think so."

            "Then who taught Ranma how to fight?"

            "Ranma's stepmother."

            Nabiki blinked. "He was trained by his mother?"

            Monique nodded. "Yes, I no meet her, but Ranma say she strong fighter. He also practices with sister Britanny. I have met her, she very strong fighter."

            {Must have been that girl I saw this morning.} Nabiki thought. She then made a mental note not to allow Akane to challenge Ranma to an all out fight. If his mother and sister trained him, then he wasn't likely to hold back on her sister like the other boys. Still a friendly sparring match might put Akane in her place. She had gotten very arrogant at all of her victories, and she really needed a lesson in humility.

            It was at this time that the combatants entered the field. Ranma walked towards the center calmly with his hands in his pockets. On the opposite end entered Kuno, dressed in his kendo uniform and carrying his bokken. He walked with all the arrogance of a man who knew he was a higher life form. The two stopped just ten feet apart.

            "So you dare to challenge the might of Kuno. Know that when I defeat you I shall remove that kokujin from our noble school and claim my pig tailed goddess, as well as the fair tigress Akane Tendo!"

            Ranma blinked. "Your what?"

            "Do not try to lie to me Diggers! I know that you and that witch have a young maiden under your power. I have seen her myself. She is a beautiful vision with fiery red hair who is worthy only of the Kuno loin."

            As Kuno ranted, adding points to his Darwin award nomination, Nabiki noticed her sister looking at her. "Don't look at me. He came up with that all by himself."

            Ranma, for his part, was shaking mad. {Worthy of his loin? GROSS! You're going down stick boy. And the harder the better!}

            "Now you will face defeat under my mighty blade. Have at thee!!" And Ranma did, starting one of the most one-sided fights Nabiki had ever seen. The crowd could only wince as Ranma invented new ways to put a human being into unbearable pain. Several observers remarked at the ways that Julia Digger's adopted son took Kuno apart.

 

            WHAP!

            "Ow, that's got to smart!"

            CRACK!

            "Yow, that's inhuman!"

            CRUNCH!

            "I hope that heals soon!"

            "GRIND!

            "I didn't know that joint could bend that way."

            MANGLE!

            "I don't think it was supposed to."

            KA-POW!

            "Oh boy! That'll leave a mark!"

            WHAM!

            "That'll leave an even BIGGER mark!"

            CRASH!

            "Wow. I've never seen anyone do THAT before."

            THOOM!

            "Ooh, nasty!"

            "KA-POWIE!

            "Wonder where Diggers learned to do that?"

            WHOMP!

            "That's GOT to be illegal!"

            "Hey look! Diggers got a hold of Kuno's bokken!"

            "Oh come on now! There's NO WAY it could fit there!"

            Kuno then let off an ear-piercing scream. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

            "Well, I'll be damned."

            "Note to self. NEVER get Ranma Diggers pissed off at me."

 

 

            A short while later Nabiki was leaving the school a much richer girl. It was good that she had taken so many bets for Kuno. With the kendo fighter now in the hospital, profits were going to be a little tight for the next few days. As Nabiki passed the school gates, she saw Ranma and Monique. "Hey Ranma, Monique."

            Ranma turned to her. "Yes?"

            "Hi, Nabiki."

            "You helped me make a lot of money today. Why don't you come over to my house? I'd like to thank you two with dinner."

            "I don't know. I don't want to trouble you..."

            "It's no trouble."

            Ranma looked over to Monique who nodded. "Umm sure, why not."

 

To be continued.

 

Special thanks to my prereaders and the people who sent me C&C including Mchase, Animeaddiction, and Tangent.