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|Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!|
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********
=> Warning!  This fic contains excessive amounts of sugar!  With 
Valentine's day nearing, every single media in existence has been 
turning out sugar bombs that try to mutate all of us into starry-eyed 
idiots.  Sad to say, they have converted me into their sorry lot.   

=> Although I'm *not* proud to be among the few people who dread the 
coming of February, I am forced, under the pain of insanity, torture, 
slow death, (and lots of other horrible things to graphic to mention), 
to write this fic.  Writing romance stories makes me feel all good 
inside.  <gasp>  It's starting already!  Somebody!  Whack me on the 
head!  <Whack, whack>  Thanks, I needed that.  

=> I'm warning you at this point in time that the fic has a *really 
cheesy ending*.   

=> Also, the plot (actually the ending) is not really my original idea.  
I would like to thank my contributor (who still desires to remain 
nameless) for coming up with the cheesy ending that started the wheels 
turning in my mind to come up with a story to match.  May she (and all 
those other nameless people) find our own cheesy ending sometime in the 
foreseeable future.

=> Some notes on notation.  Things in {curly braces} are author's 
comments within the fic.  Signs and sound effects are in... uh... 
<pointy braces> 

=> The disclaimer is at the end, and the more people I would like to 
thank.   

=> Will somebody whack me so I can start?  Thanks.  
********  

Prologue

	Hiroshi and Daisuke stepped out of the warp zone in two flicks of 
a dime.  They dashed to the nearest window and bid farewell to one of 
the nicest dinners they have had in a long time.  It took a few minutes 
of barfing and doing a lot of awful hacking sounds with their throats 
before they managed to gain a semblance of sanity in their stomachs.  
Daisuke was the first to recover.  "Good gosh, why the heck did you have 
to install a twisted link like that to your site," Daisuke asked the 
short-haired man behind the chair who watched them with unrepressed 
glee.  "What are you, some kind of weirdo who takes an insane pleasure 
in making his guests barf?"
	"Well, it does keep salespersons out," Mayhem replied, grinning.  
"And, no, I don't have an insane pleasure in making people barf.  
However, the guy you passed by on the way here, Switch, you know, the 
guy who looks like Gosunkugi?  Well, he's the one who has the insane 
pleasure of making people barf.  Be careful around his site.  He eats 
those who stay too long in his room."  He gave his swivel chair a whirl.  
"So, what's up?" he asked nonchalantly.
	It was Hiroshi who spoke.  "Well, the sky for one thing," but he 
did look out the window.  "Why did we come there again, Daisuke?" 
	"How the heck could you forget, Hiroshi!"  Daisuke strangled the 
other.  He fainted.  Seeing there was no one else to talk to, he spoke 
to the other seemingly sane person in the room.  "Could you help us?  
We're looking for a place to crash for a while.  Everything's gone to 
hell back at home, today being Valentine's day and all..."  He shuddered 
at the memory.  "Everyone's mad, I tell you, mad!" 
	Immediately, Mayhem came to his aid.  "So everything's getting 
wrecked back there, huh?  Just as I expected."  He slid the swivel over 
to the other side of the room, which was taken over by an extremely 
large and sophisticated computer system.  State of the art was one word, 
monstrous was another.  He removed the "I fell out of a truck sign" and 
began typing on a few keys.  Seconds later, a complex mathematical 
pattern appeared on the screen, complemented with graphs and squiggly 
stuff.
	Daisuke, having a passion for things that looked like they came 
out of a Star Trek movie, looked over Mayhem's shoulder.  "What's that?"  
he asked, for that was all he could say, if he could say anything at 
all.
	Mayhem, insistently finding ways to fuel his largely inflated ego, 
began to speak in a strange language that Daisuke had difficulty 
understanding.  "Well, this here is a mathematical representation of the 
Ranma universe.  I've managed to reduce to mathematical equations the 
characteristics of each of the cast.  The way they interact is 
determined by a set of rules that is defined by the mathematical science 
of psychohistory.  Theoretically, one should be able to project the 
socio-economic situation of the Ranma universe into the past or into the 
future.  But, all I have now is a semi-working model of Nerima.  In 
other words, this here is a fanfic generator, that is, given a certain 
input event, this program could simulate what would happen to each of 
the characters, how they would react and interact with one another.  
Maybe someday, we can find the point in time where all of the characters 
would settle down and reach a state of equilibrium, but this model still 
does not take into account random events such as monsters and stuff like 
that.  I..."  He looked at Daisuke, whose eyes were already spinning.  
"Oh... Sorry 'bout that."
	It took a few cups of ice tea to revive the fallen duo.  After a 
few minutes, Daisuke was once again looking at the computer screen and 
Hiroshi was looking at the posters of Sailor Mercury that adorned 
Mayhem's room.  Mayhem skipped over the description of the process, 
vowing to someday explain it in more simple terms.  "Well, here's a 
graph of a typical situation in Nerima.  That is, the situation at the 
start of each episode or chapter in the manga." 
	Daisuke stammered out a retort, "surely that can't be the *entire* 
model, right?  I mean, you can't really graph what a person feels."
	"No... This is just an simplified version.  If needed, I can 
increase the character resolution, but the statistics that it would show 
would more than fill this small screen.  Watch as I input the date to be 
Valentine's day."  He pressed a few keys and the flashing lights and the 
squiggly lines the computer displayed went haywire, much like a 
caterpillar having a seizure.  After a while, a DON'T PANIC sign 
flashed.  "I guess no explanation is necessary."
	Daisuke tried to stop the headache he was feeling right now.  
"Well, all you did was explain the situation in... uh... terms a lot 
harder to understand."  He thought for a while.  An idea hit him like a 
ton of bricks.  "Well, how the heck can we stop the carnage?  You did 
say that you could simulate what can happen, right.  There could be a 
way, a certain input event that could make it all stop, now.  You could 
find it, right?"
	"Well, to tell you the truth..."  He typed a few keys.  
Immediately, all the flashing lights disappeared and the DON'T PANIC 
sign was replaced with a glowing white sign.  "EQUILIBRIUM REACHED!"  
the computer declared, and added a trumpeting victory sound.
	"Wow!  You mean Ranma and Akane got married..."  Hiroshi appeared 
somewhere behind all of them. 
	"Nice observation, Sherlock," Daisuke sarcastically said.
	"Well, he's wrong," Mayhem swiveled his chair.  He had this 
serious look in his face.  "It wasn't just Akane and Ranma who got 
married - everyone else got married.  What you see before you is the 
fastest way to a settlement of all the characters in the shortest amount 
of time.  One single event that would end all the speculation and 
generate a near-happy ever after, and end the entire Ranma series, 
without any of the major characters getting killed, all in one day.  The 
problem is, it's a pretty cheesy ending."
	"Wow... That's pretty cool," Hiroshi said in a small voice in the 
sudden quiet that descended the room.  "Can you tell us what this..." he 
looked at Daisuke for help, unfortunately, he was looking somewhere else 
"... thing is?"
	"Actually, it's a particular person," Mayhem clicked the mouse on 
the execute button. 
	
8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F  
                 Twenty Less Lonely People in the World
   <otherwise known as Mayhem's Valentine Fic with the Cheesy Ending>  
   By the currently sessile (not senile) Nikholas "Mayhem" F. Toledo  
8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F8F  

{
 Hiroshi and Daisuke looked at Mayhem with disbelieving eyes.
 "I SAID SESSILE!  NOT SENILE!" 
 *BONK*
}

Chapter One
Rude Awakenings

	Ranma ran through the deserted streets of Nerima, with the scourge 
of hell following him in waves of pain and anger.  He was afraid.  He 
knew he couldn't win.  He hated it.  He hated running away.  He knew 
that he should fight, and that he could defeat it, just like everyone he 
had faced before, but all he wanted was to run away.  Just run away.  "I 
can't look..."  He cried out for help, but his scream died in his 
throat.  
	The monster at his heels laughed horribly, sending its tentaculous 
arms throughout the entire world, turning everything it touched into 
nothingness.
	Foolishly, Ranma bumped into the last brick wall in the universe.
	There was nothing left, Nothing was left in the void that used to 
be the universe, except for Ranma, the monster, and the brick wall.
	He turned around, there was nothing left to do.  He looked the 
monster straight in the eye.
	It said, "Goodbye, Ranma," in a voice that was both familiar and 
strange.
	And he shattered into a thousand pieces.

	Akane never had nightmares.  Unlike Ranma, who once every often 
woke up screaming.  Maybe it's a psychological effect of his early 
separation from his mother, his fears manifesting and repeating 
themselves at the subconscious level.  Or, maybe, it's a dumb stroke of 
bad luck.
	Well, Akane's dreams were never that scary.  Of course, she did 
have nightmares, once in a while, but they was never so dark that she 
would wake up screaming in the middle of the night and be unable to 
sleep.
	But this time, it was weird.
	She found herself confronting a cup of instant ramen claiming to 
be her inner self.  Of course she was angry, who wouldn't be if you 
found out that your inner self looked like such. 
	It said to her in a strange way, "you carry your anger around as 
your shield.  Stop, or it will happen again."
	What followed was a pang of sadness and guilt that she had never 
felt for a long time.
	She called out to it, asking what the heck was going on.
	It screamed back at her, loud.
	She woke up with the ringing still in her ears.
	Because it wasn't a dream, the Styrofoam cup was still screaming.
	No... it was actually Ranma, screaming his lungs out in the other 
room.
	"Trust Ranma to ruin everything," she hrrumphed, tossing in bed.

	A loud bloodcurdling scream shattered the early morning 
tranquility of the Tendo Dojo.
	Lots of things happened at the same time.
	To ease the description of the scene, it could be said that the 
same sequence of events that took place was similar to that shown at the 
start of the Cookbook episode (OAV 2).  That is, everyone fell to the 
floor in surprise (except for Nabiki, who, by definition, is never 
surprised, and Kasumi, who gets surprised but doesn't show it), and ran 
up the stairs.  History did have this thing for repeating itself.
	Of course, they were a bit different this time.  First of all, the 
mob that made its way up the stairs was fairly puzzled when they saw 
Akane step out of her room, not being the person who was, in actuality, 
screaming. 
	The second thing that made this scene different was made apparent 
by the composition of the said mob.
	And that made a helluva difference.

	The sliding door was kicked in, and Miss Hinako was the first 
person to enter the room.  Taking out a fifty-yen coin, she blasted the 
would-be screaming delinquent in the room.
	But the problem with Miss Hinako's battle-aura-draining power was 
that it only acted in a direct line of sight with the coin.  If a person 
were to hide behind somebody else, that person wouldn't be drained of 
his battle aura.
	And now, in the Saotome room, a large panda effectively blocked 
whatever attack she dished out with his comparatively large volume.  
Poor Genma, who was sleeping at the time, found his energy being drained 
from him, and his fat furry body shrunk much like raisins exposed to the 
sun.
	(Of course, that analogy would be much more appreciated, given the 
fact that Miss Hinako did look like the sun, 'cause she was wearing that 
skin-tight one-piece yellow miniskirt and did make people, actually the 
men, sweat profusely.)
	Soun Tendo was the next person to see exactly what was going on.  
What caught his attention was the battle-drained panda, drifting in the 
wind.  Of course, this was Soun's first first-hand experience dealing 
with energy-deficient person, besides the time a few months back when 
the skies over Nerima were filled with hundreds of shrunken, energy-
drained bodies floating in the wind.  There were lots of scared people 
that afternoon, and Soun was one of them.
	He held on to Genma-panda for dear life.  "OH, SAOTOME!  WHAT 
TRAGEDY HAS BEFALLEN YOU!"  He wailed, flooding the room with tears.   
"WHY HAVE YOU BECOME SO THIN?!?"  The panda began to drift in the small 
breeze that blew through the room.  "Oh no!  His spirit is leaving us!   
Somebody, do something!"
	The first thing that Akane did when she entered the room was to 
run over to Ranma's side.  He was in his girl form and was cowering in 
one corner of the room, trying to ward off evil spirits with his... her 
hands.  She shook her awake.  "Ranma!  Snap out of it!"  she said, 
slapping him.  "It's just a bad dream!  Come on, wake up!"
	"Uh... Akane..."  Ranma stared at her bleary eyed.  "I thought 
that you..." she stammered out, still half-asleep.
	"Uh... What Ranma?"  Akane grew this little red line across the 
bridge of her nose at the way Ranma was staring at her, with such want 
in her eyes...  She shook it off.  "Ranma," she hissed, "there are 
people watching."
	Ranma was about to say (or do) something that would have ended the 
entire series then and there when Nabiki chose to enter the discussion.  
"Ranma," she said in the caring way we all know and love, "I can't 
believe you would be scared of a little brat."
	"Little brat?"  the two of them echoed, and they stared somewhere 
behind them.
	Kasumi was holding a little boy around the age of six who held a 
small squirt gun in his hand.  "Hello," the boy shyly said, "my name is 
Junior... What's yours?"  he asked in a small-child charming way.  
	"Junior?!?"  Akane and Ranma echoed, with a startling thought that 
pierced through them like an arrow.  They stared at the person who would 
have most likely had an explanation.
	Genma-panda took out a small sign.  <Food will heal me.>

{
 "Hey!  You mean a kid is going to solve everything?"  Daisuke asked 
disbelievingly.
 "And... his... he..." Hiroshi followed through.
 "Watch and learn..."
}

Chapter Two
Letting go of the past

	"Yes... The Tendo Dojo will be taking care of Junior," Soun said 
to the gathered group around the low-slung table in the dining room.  
The little boy and Genma-panda were playing at the far corner of the 
room.  Ranma, Akane, Kasumi and Nabiki were at their usual places at the 
table.
	Soun continued, "this little boy was left by his father---"
	Ranma ran over to where Genma-panda was playing with the little 
kid after Soun's declaration.  He grabbed Genma by the scruff of his 
neck.  "ALRIGHT, POP!  ANSWER ME!  IS ALL OF THIS YOUR FAULT?!?"  <Hey!  
I didn't do anything wrong!>
	Akane grabbed Ranma.  She glowed an angry blue.  "Well... Since he 
can't be a new fiancée (unless Mr. Saotome was *really* desperate for a 
meal at the time)..."  She glared at them with an evil eye.  "IS THIS 
YOUR SON, RANMA?!"
	Ranma began to stammer.  "Hey!  It's not my fault!"
	"You're being defensive.  So he *is* your son then!"
	The three began arguing.
	It became even worse when the kid decided to take part in the 
growing heap of anger at the center of the room.  When no one was 
looking, he tackled Genma, tickling him.  In the mêlée of furry arms and 
legs and falling bodies and crashing plates, something happened that 
only Kasumi saw, and she smiled.
	After a few minutes of screaming and shouting and nobody-knowing-
exactly-what-was-going-on, Miss Hinako chose it proper to drain everyone 
in the room (that is, the men) to restore order and discipline, in the 
Ninomiya way.
	Since Soun was drained, Miss Hinako spoke for him.  "First of all, 
I would like to say that Mr. Saotome here," she meant the two Saotomes 
as they lay down on the floor, "has had nothing to do with the case of 
this child."  She tweaked his ear a little bit.  "This little boy was 
found lost at the train station this morning, calling for his father.  
Most probably, he had been separated from him in the early morning rush.  
The Nerima town council has moved to help the plight of this child.  The 
police had been contacted and they are searching throughout the entirety 
of Tokyo trying to find the missing father.  Your father, being the Town 
Council chairman, was elected to take care of the child until his father 
is found."
	"You mean, the town council wants *us* to take care of the child?"  
Nabiki asked inquisitively.  She took a deep breath before she began the 
cross-examination.  "Isn't it strange that the Town council would want 
to ask a *martial arts* family to take care of a small brat?  I mean, 
they could have had some other family to baby-sit, like the Addams 
family (a classic horror type family) or the Partridge family (an 
extinct 1970's band type family) or maybe even the Huxtable family in 
the Bill Cosby show (a wholesome comedy family)."  She glared at Miss 
Hinako.  "There *is* something wrong with this kid."  It was a 
statement, not a question.
	Miss Hinako was unfazed.  "Yes, there is.  As you did see awhile 
ago, the kid's a bit mischievous, and could cause a lot of damage if not 
properly taken care off."
	"So you're going to dump the brat here, just like that?"
	"Miss Tendo, I assure you:  the town council is doing the best 
that they can.  For that matter..." Miss Hinako paused as if trying to 
think something over, "... I would be staying here for awhile to help in 
disciplining the child."
	Soun weakly rose from the floor.  Miss Hinako helped him to sit, 
not looking into his eyes.  Akane felt something strange pass by that 
wasn't there a while ago, but it was gone.
	Soun said, "before we are interrupted again, I would dare suggest 
that Ranma and Akane be the ones to take care of the child."
	This was met by a loud groan from the floor and a loud protest 
somewhere to Mr. Tendo's right. 
	"DAD!"  Akane said, "You mean you want me and Ranma to take care 
of him?!?"
	Kasumi smiled.  "Father, that's so clever.  That way, they can 
prepare for the time that they will have kids of their own."
	Soun had already regained his strength.  "Since, someday, you two 
would be married and will have your own children, it would only be best 
if you started taking care of children, even now.  Please, I leave him 
to you two.  It is your duty as martial artists and as heirs of the 
Anything-Goes School."  Little rivers began to flow from Soun's eyes.  
"Take him around town;  maybe somebody will recognize him and he will 
finally be reunited with his family.  Please, think of the poor father 
who most probably is worried sick now."
	Nabiki said, "what father means to say is that, to avoid any 
further damage to the house, you better take him out for a walk... Isn't 
that right, daddy."
	"But, dad," Akane said, "I have a date today, with all my friends.  
We've planning it for a week.  I can't go ahead and just cancel it."
	"But you can take Junior here with you, and Ranma.  It would be 
like you're one big happy family."
	Akane sighed, nodding.  "This isn't a date, Ranma.  You better not 
forget it."
	"Like I would *want* to be seen in public with an uncute tomboy 
like you and a very naughty kid like him."
	Akane replied by unceremoniously dumping the dining table on his 
head.
	Nabiki said, "Don't think of it as marriage training, Akane.  
Think of it as babysitting."  She rose up to leave.  "Excuse me, but 
I've got a few calls to make."  Akane walked out with her.
	Junior poked Ranma in the head.  "Are you okay?"  he asked.
	"I'm fine, go away."
	"Okay, then!"  he responded by spraying him with water from the 
squirt gun.

{
 Hiroshi interrupted the narration rudely.  He asked, "how come Miss 
Hinako only drains men?  Don't you remember, Daisuke, when she came to 
Furinkan, she drained only the guys.  I call that sexual discrimination.  
If she should drain us guys, she should drain girls, too."
 Mayhem replied, "Well, she did drain most of Ranma's other fiancées in 
the manga.  But do take note:  the only other females in the scene were 
the three Tendo daughters.  Now, we wouldn't want to drain Kasumi, would 
we?  Nabiki could retaliate in ways that Miss Hinako can't 
counterattack, even with her power, and Akane's... not the kind of 
person who would be drained."
 It was Daisuke who had the best answer.  "Well... aren't Soun, Ranma 
and Genma the major causes of trouble in the Tendo Dojo, aside from 
Happosai?"
 They left it at that.
}

Chapter Three
The streets of Nerima

	"I can't believe we're taking this little kid around town instead 
of doing my martial arts," Ranma complained as he walked on the fence.  
Akane trailed on the street below, holding the little boy's hand. 
	"Do you always think of yourself, Ranma?"  Akane asked 
sarcastically.  "Just like your father."
	"Hey!  I'm not like my pop!"  he replied angrily. 
	Akane began ticking off her fingers.  "It's there, Ranma.  What 
about every night, at dinner, when you and your father compete for 
what's left of the food."
	"He's a lot more a pig than me," Ranma argued weakly.  "At least I 
don't hide as a panda whenever things go bad."
	"That's because you change into a girl.  Like whenever Auntie 
Saotome comes by?"
	"At least..."  Ranma came up blank with a reason.  "At least I'm a 
better martial artist than he is..." he reasoned desperately.
	Akane laughed.  "Like *that* matters..."
	They walked a few minutes in silence.
	"Fine," Ranma jumped down from the fence.  He crouched down to the 
kid's eye level.  "Do you want a piggy back ride?"  he asked the little 
kid. 
	A few minutes later, Ranma was walking along the fence with the 
little boy on his shoulders.  "I'm not doing this for you, you know," 
Ranma retorted.  "Jerk," Akane thought, "and here I was, about to thank 
him." 
	They walked together for a while in silence.
	"All right, I'm sorry," Akane broke the impasse.  "I shouldn't 
have joked about you and your father."
	"And I'm sorry about not helping you take care of Junior.  I mean, 
he is our responsibility," Ranma replied, looking straight ahead.
	"Yeah, what a stupid idea to use him as bridal training."
	A cool breeze blew though the morning sky, tossing a few curls of 
hair here and there and moved a few fluffy clouds.
	Ranma jumped down the fence.
	They walked side by side the rest of the way.

	Ukyo was in the middle of her usual morning jog when she saw 
something really unusual.
	It was Ranma carrying a small kid on his shoulders walking side by 
side with Akane. 
	She resolved to follow them quietly for a few blocks. 
	"Where do we go now, Akane?"  she heard Ranma ask.
	"Well, why don't we ask Junior over here," Akane said, tickling 
the little boy.
	"JUNIOR?!?"  Ukyo screamed in her mind.  "Is that Ranma and 
Akane's..."  She shook that thought off.  "Come on, Ukyo, that couldn't 
be Ranma's son.  I mean, it couldn't be Akane's son.  It's impossible."  
But there was this nagging feeling.  Maybe the kid was adopted or 
something.  She needed to find out. 
	She marched off in their direction.
	Ranma waved to her.  "Why, hello, Ucchan!  Nice to see you again," 
he said.
	Akane couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy.  "Why 
hello, Ukyo," Akane said with an even voice.
	Ukyo said in an adoring voice, "well... Who is this little man you 
have here," she said.  She was met by a gentle splash of water from the 
squirt gun, which she accepted playfully.  A regular sized puddle of 
water formed on the sidewalk.  "I see you have a squirt gun."
	"Yes!"  The little boy looked at it as if it was a trophy.  "My 
father gave it to me..."
	"Oh... Your father gave it to you..." Ukyo said in this weird 
voice.  "And what is your father's name?"  she asked.
	Ranma, in a rare flash of insight, "Ah... Ukyo..."  He looked for 
a good way to phrase it.  "He's not related to me, at least 
genetically."
	Ukyo gasped.  "You don't mean that you're related legally---"
	"YES!  NO!  I mean... we're... uh..."
	Akane butted in before Ranma could make an even bigger fool out of 
himself.  "We're just babysitting."  She smiled a winning smile, the way 
Kasumi smiles to end any discussion.  "The little kid got lost and we're 
trying to find his father, right, Ranma," she elbowed him discreetly. 
	There was something in the way Akane said it that made Ukyo wary.  
"I guess I better follow them just to make sure."
	"So, where are you going, Ranma?"  Ukyo asked.
	The little kid blurted out.  "We're going on a date!"
	"I knew it," Ukyo thought.
	An uncomfortable silence descended on the three of them (with the 
kid too young to be stuck in uncomfortable silences). Akane silently 
prayed that Ranma wouldn't open...
	"Uh... Ukyo..." Ranma felt the need to break the silence.  "Would 
you like to come with us?  The kid could be quite a handful," he 
inwardly groaned.
	"Sure, Ranma!"  Ukyo replied quite joyously.  "If you want, I'll 
carry that kid for you," she reached out and tried to lift the kid off 
Ranma's shoulders.
	But Akane beat her to the punch.  "I'm sorry, Ukyo, but this 
little guy is coming with me.  Come on, Junior, let's leave these two 
slowpokes behind."  They marched on ahead.
	"Gah!"  Ranma thought, "how uncute."

	A few blocks behind them, a no left-turn sign began moving, then 
it gained speed.
	A few blocks ahead of them, two people were chasing each other.
	Akane and Junior turned left at the corner. 
	What followed required two instant replays to be analyzed.
	Ryoga, running like mad, away from something, screamed, "RANMA!  
YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME!!!"
	Behind him, wearing rollerblades, was the terror of all cutiees.  
"CHARLOTTE!!!"  Azusa Shiratori cried in that all-too-familiar excited 
shriek.
	And, on the other end of the street, Tsubasa Kurenai went on a 
rampage, wearing a vending machine suit.  "My dear, dear Ukyo!"  he 
called out to her in waves of pretty pink envelopes and soda cans.
	Ranma, not really knowing what was going on, jumped into the air.
	Ryoga jumped.  "Ukyo!  Watch out!"  He crashed into Ukyo, the 
force of the impact twisting them in mid-air.
	Azusa and Tsubasa, running at high speeds, tried to stop.  And, of 
course, braking with rollerblades or wearing a vending machine was 
pretty hard, especially if you aren't that good a martial artist.  They 
cracked their noggins on each other and fell instantly unconscious.
	It was a general rule that if two people of the opposite sex were 
to fall at the same time, they would land in a very compromising 
situation.
	We have here four (even if Tsubasa dressed otherwise).
	Tsubasa fell on Azusa, who fell on Ukyo, who fell on Ryoga, who 
fell on a regular-sized puddle in the ground.
	Ranma landed a safe distance away.  "Ukyo?  Are you okay?"  he 
asked the large pile of humanity on the street.
	"Ryoga?"  Akane and Junior reappeared.  There was no Ryoga, all 
Akane saw was Ranma helping up Ukyo carrying a small black pig to her 
feet.  "P-Chan!  What are you doing here?"  She ran over and hugged the 
pig, which didn't really help him to regain consciousness.
	Ukyo shook the dust off her clothes.  "How the heck did this 
happen?"  she asked, eyeing the pig and eyeing the two sub-normal people 
still in a heap on the street.
	Akane let go of the pig and gave it to Junior.  She came over to 
the two of them.  "Wasn't that Azusa and Tsubasa over there?"  she 
asked. 
	Ranma grabbed her arm.  "Come on, I'm not going to wait and find 
out."  The four of them walked a good distance away before they spoke 
again.  "Well, that was a weird thing."
	Ukyo echoed his sentiments.  "Yeah, but changing into a pig is 
another," she glared at the small pig who was in Junior's arms.  She 
declared, "I have to go home and get for myself a change of clothes."  
She picked up P-Chan by his bandanna. "And, me and a certain someone 
have to one-on-one talk..."  P-Chan squeaked terrifiedly.
	Akane protested, "Ukyo, where are you going with my P-Chan?" 
	Ukyo was about to retort when she saw Ranma shake his head 
vigorously.  "So Akane doesn't know..."
	"Come on, Akane," Ranma said.  "You can't take care of the pig and 
Junior at the same time.  One of them is quite a handful already.  I'm 
sure Ukyo would be glad to take good care of P-Chan for a while, won't 
you, Ucchan?"  Akane couldn't help but agree to Ranma's assertion.
	"See you at the park in the afternoon!"  Ukyo waved goodbye.
	Akane felt pretty angry, "why did you let her go with P-Chan? 
Won't she use him to get back at me?"
	"I think P-Chan is going to be in good hands," Ranma reassured 
cryptically.

{
 "Hey... This is getting to be a bit cheesy."
 "'ya ain't seen nothing yet..."
}

Chapter Four
A walk in the park

	Junior was in the playground, generally enjoying himself.  Ranma 
and Akane sat quietly on a nearby park bench, also enjoying themselves 
but not making the said enjoyment apparent to the significant other.
	It was already late in the morning.  It would have become a bit 
unbearably hot, if not for the fluffy clouds that blew across the sun 
once in a while.  A cool breeze blew throughout the playground, singing 
through the trees.
	Ranma felt this strange fuzzy feeling, but did not really 
acknowledge Akane to be its cause, blaming it instead on the weather.  
He gazed at her once in a while, enjoying the way the breeze blew 
through her hair.  How come he felt this strange closeness to her all of 
a sudden?  Must have been that weird dream, he thought.
	There was something in the air that made Akane feel slightly 
lightheaded.  Is it the wind, or the sunny sky?  Or is it really...  She 
smiled softly.
	There was this soft sighing sound that was rampant in the air.  An 
air of contentment and ease.  Akane sneaked a peek at Ranma's face and 
found him gazing slightly at her with a smile on his face.  She gulped 
and allowed herself to look fully on his face.  She took on a slightly 
questioning look on her face, and hoped that Ranma wouldn't say 
something stupid.
	Ranma looked into Akane's eyes.  He knew moments like these were 
rare and decided not to do anything at all.  There was nothing needed to 
be done.  He just looked at her and smiled a pure and simple smile.
	The comfortable silence lasted a few minutes. 
	Akane felt an uncontrollable reddening crawling over her face.  
She looked away, embarrassed.  Ranma looked away at almost the same 
time.  It was a moment lost.
	"Ranma," Akane said, breaking the silence, "since we saw Azusa a 
while ago, wouldn't Mikado be around here as well?"
	"Maybe.  Those two are always together, being the Golden Pair and 
such..."
	A startling thought came over Akane.  "You don't think that 
they're..."
	Ranma almost barfed.  "No way... You know how Mikado is, don't you 
think that he would have done *something* to her, if he did seem 
attracted to her?  Face it.  The guy would kiss anything that has lips, 
that is, anything female that has lips."
	At the word lips, Akane found herself staring at Ranma's lips as 
they moved, imagining what it would feel like if they...  She shook the 
thought off.  Ranma wouldn't really want to do something like that.  How 
many times has he had the chance to do that?  Akane sighed.  At least 
Ranma has already kissed someone, she sadly thought.
	"How come Akane feels so sad?"  Ranma silently thought.  This 
time, it was another startling thought that came over Ranma.  "Don't 
tell me that she still has the hots for that molester guy..."
	Before Ranma could consider the consequences of that concept, a 
female voice broke over their musings.  "Well, if it isn't everyone's 
favorite couple.  Fancy meeting you here!"  Nabiki not-so-quite yelled.  
"So you managed to dump the brat and go off on your own?"
	"Nabiki!"  Akane protested.  "We weren't doing anything?"
	"So you say..."  Nabiki looked at her watch.  "I have to meet Kuno 
baby here today.  Oh, there he is... See you guys around."  She walked 
away, but not without a parting shot.  "And don't get any ideas on 
starting a family of your own today!"  She was rewarded by a bright red 
blush from the two of them.  "Just as I thought."
	The blushing took a few minutes to die down.  Then, more genetic 
functions began to activate.
	"Nabiki and Kuno?!?"  Ranma and Akane found themselves exclaiming 
at the same time.  "This I got to see," Akane said, disappearing into 
the bushes.  Ranma, being also the son of his father, followed closely 
after her. 
	And Junior, out of curiosity over what was going on, followed them 
into the trees.

	From the cover of the trees, Ranma and Akane watched the quick 
exchange of bills and goods between Kuno and Nabiki.  "Why am I not 
surprised," Ranma found himself saying, in a slightly loud voice.  Of 
course, that blew their cover.
	"Ranma Saotome!  You dare attempt an ambush on the Blue Thunder of 
Furinkan High!  Surely you are a Saotome to do such.  For only true and 
honorable warriors would attack in the open, like I, Tatewaki Kuno."  He 
saw who Ranma was with.  "Ah!  It is Akane Tendo!  No doubt the cretin 
Ranma has forced you into the cover of the woods for which to do gain 
his lustful ends.  Do not fear, for I shall smite the cursed monster 
back to the hellfire from which he had been spawned, and your love for 
me shall truly shine once more."
	"Can it, Kuno!"  Ranma menacingly approached Nabiki.  "Tell me, 
have you been selling pictures of me again?"  To which Nabiki replied, 
"You tell me, Ranma.  Don't you know eavesdropping is a criminal offence 
and you can be persecuted to the full force of the law?  And, for that 
matter, don't you know parental negligence is also a crime?"
	"Parental negligence?"  Ranma, Kuno and Akane echoed. 
	"Yes.  My dear Ranma, where is *Junior*?"  She said, emphasizing 
the little kid's name.
	Which did produce the appropriate side effects.
	"JUNIOR?!?"  Kuno's jaw dropped all the way to the ground.  He 
gained control of himself and took a deep breath.  "Ranma Saotome, how 
dare you violate the pureness of the pig-tailed goddess and/or Akane 
Tendo to produce your dark offspring!  To touch their tender bodies and 
crush them like one heartless as you would crush a tender flower.  
Truly, you are a monster, to use them to further your dreams of world 
conquest and create a race of semi-men with which you can control the 
world!  By these hands... BY THESE HANDS I HAVE, I SHALL SMITE THEE!"  
He began a series of attacks.  "DIE, SAOTOME!"
	"Not again..." Ranma murmured as he avoided Kuno's clumsy blows. 
	"Junior!"  Akane called out the little boy's name.  "Honestly, I 
can't keep my eyes off him for a minute.  Nabiki, could you help me look 
for him?"
	"No need..."  Nabiki pointed to where a small smiling face looked 
on them from the bushes.
	"Oh good..."  Akane was about to relax when a high-pitched laugh 
tore through the air.
	The two combatants paused for awhile to head the call.  "It is my 
twisted sister," Kuno said.  Ranma groaned, "at least things can't get 
any worse..."
	But they did.  Ranma and the others felt the soft splash of cold 
water from the squirt gun of the little kid.
	Kodachi Kuno called out in her own loving way to her brother.  
"Brother dear, what has come over you, brandishing your sword in front 
of your pig-tailed goddess," she spat.
	"Pig-tailed girl?"  Kuno turned and found himself staring at his 
red-headed goddess.  "PIG-TAILED GIR--mmph."
	A body flew in mid-air and crashed on top of Kuno.  The sun shined 
on the dashing man, dressed in a white suit and rollerblades, carrying a 
bouquet of flowers.  Mikado Sanzenin, the foremost member of the Golden 
Pair of the Martial Arts Skating, presented himself in front of the two 
women.  "Akane Tendo and... I am not worthy to recall your name... 
please accept this bouquet of flowers as a token of my appreciation of 
your beauties.  Please, feel free to thank me with just a simple 
kiss..."  He was met with two fists in the kisser. 
	"Why?  Don't you want my kiss?  Don't you know that today's---"  
He was cut off by a vicious swipe of a bokken that ripped through his 
designer tux. 
	Kuno rose from the ground, glowing a bitter, angry blue.  "How 
dare you parade yourself in front of my two goddesses and step on me!  
Miscreant!  Death is too kind for you!"  He brandished his bokken.  
"Prepare to face my legendary bokken!"
	Mikado was not impressed.  "Don't you know who I am?"  He 
introduced himself, nonetheless, "I am Mikado Sanzenin, the foremost 
member of the only-once-defeated Golden Pair of Martial Arts Figure 
Skating."  The sun glinted off his teeth.
	Kuno introduced himself, too.  "I am the undefeated champion of 
the Furinkan High School Kendo Club.  The rising star of the fencing 
world.  My enemies shiver at the mere mention of my name.  My peers call 
me the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High.  I am Tatewaki Kuno.  No one dares 
even talk to my goddesses without passing through me."  Thunder cracked 
somewhere in the background. 
	Ranma and Akane sighed in disbelief. 
	Yellow aura began to glow around Mikado.  "These two are your 
goddesses.  Well, I can tell you that I have already kissed the two of 
them."
	"Fool!  I have done the same thing even before your moronic 
grandfather was born!"  Kuno countered.
	"WHAT?!?"  two people screamed.  Fists crashed into the faces of 
two other people, burying them in the ground from the neck up.
	Nabiki smirked.  There was a good business proposition in the air.  
"Now... now... calm down, the four of you.  I think we can all talk 
about this like civilized people."  She took out a package of pictures 
of the two most contested women in town from her pocket.  "I have, in 
front of you, pictures of Akane Tendo and Ra--- the pig-tailed girl."  
She smiled sweetly.  "Bidding starts at three thousand yen."
	"I'll take it!"  Mikado and Kuno exclaimed at the same time from 
somewhere below the ground.
	"Nabiki!"  Ranma and Akane spoke suddenly and vehemently.
	"No!  I'll take him!"  Kodachi said dreamily.
	"Huh?!?"  Bigsweats appeared on all their faces as Kodachi draped 
herself all over Mikado.  "Make me your own," she said, draping kisses 
all over his face.  Mikado gasped for air.
	"Kodachi!  Have you gone mad?"  Kuno asked.  "Oh yes, you already 
are."  He took out a fan with a red circle.  "Very well, I give you 
permission to date him." 
	Kodachi happily dragged the hapless Mikado. 
	"Hey!  What about your beloved Ranma!"  Ranma chose to protest, 
much to Akane's resentment.
	"Tell him I have found a more manlier man than him," Kodachi 
laughingly yelled as the happy(?) couple leapt with a bound through the 
town.  "Help me, please!"  Mikado desperately cried out.  They 
disappeared into the horizon.
	"Well, that was weird," Akane said slowly.  "Looks like Mikado 
finally met his match."
	"'ya don't say," Ranma replied.

Chapter Five
A Chinese Lunch

	"How did you get so dirty?"  Akane asked the little boy as they 
walked in the direction of the nearest restaurant.  Ucchan's was 
strangely closed, even though it was already lunchtime.  The Cat Cafe 
was the second choice.  Akane was doubtful of the wisdom in choosing 
Shampoo's restaurant for their lunch destination.  They would have to go 
through the explanation again about not being related to the little kid 
and that they were just babysitting, like they went through with Ukyo 
and with Kuno.  But it was no use arguing with two really hungry men.
	"I was digging a hole in the park, you know, to trap tigers and 
lions in the jungle," he said it as if it was the most obvious thing in 
the world. 
	"Well, I'm sure you'll capture one before the end of the day," 
Ranma said reassuringly. 
	"Are you sure?"  the kid asked with wonder in his eyes.
	"Yeah.  You know there are a lot of monsters here in Nerima.  
Maybe you'll capture one."
	"Then what are you going to do with the monster?"  Akane found the 
little kid's disposition contagious.
	"I'm going to shoot them with this water gun," he said, 
brandishing the water gun to shoot at some imaginary prey.
	"Then what are you going to do?"  Ranma couldn't help but ask.
	"I'm going to sell the monster to a canning factory to turn it 
into sardines."
	Ranma's stomach did a somersault as he imagined the evil Orochi or 
the evil oni or any of the more insane monsters he had fought eaten for 
breakfast.  "Yuck.  I don't think people would like to eat monsters for 
breakfast."
	They arrived at the Cat Cafe laughing a little bit and their 
stomachs grumbling a little bit.  They slipped their way through the 
noontime crowd and settled down to a vacant table. 
	Shampoo arrived to take their order.  "Nihao!  Welcome to Cat 
Cafe, what your order?"  She gazed at the three newcomers.  "Oh!  Ranma!  
It you!  You come marry Shampoo, yes?"  She glomped onto his arm.
	"Ah... Shampoo we came here to eat, not to throw up," Akane tried 
to keep her voice even.
	"YES!  JUNIOR WANT TO EAT!" 
	Shampoo looked at the little kid with her eyes narrowed to slits.  
She looked alternately between Ranma, Akane and Junior. 
	"Ah... eh..." Ranma stammered.

	Once again there was a lot of kicking and screaming and people not 
really knowing what was going on.  Mousse was trying to hold back a very 
angry Shampoo who, like the others, jumped once again to conclusions.  
Ranma was trying to hold back a very angry Akane who suddenly became 
very protective of the little kid.  After a while, they directed their 
attention to Ranma, who was always at fault no matter what.  The 
audience was startled by the sudden change in the atmosphere of the 
restaurant, but they took it in stride, having a penchant for mindless 
and really painful carnage.  Many more orders of top ramen were called.
	Ranma lay on the floor half-conscious, while the two women argued 
over him.  "Ranma no right to hide that he have son already," Shampoo 
declared, stomping on the floor, who was Ranma.  Akane stomped on the 
floor, too. 
	"Why can't you listen to me, Shampoo!"  she exclaimed, doing the 
blue aura thing.  "We're just babysitting!"
	"We aren't babysitting," Junior excitedly exclaimed.  "We're going 
to watch a movie later this afternoon!"
	Of course, that made things a lot worse.
	Things would have gone out of hand if not for Cologne's 
intercession (and for Junior's very often used squirt gun).  Where once 
there was a loud argument, only an occasional angry miaow and consoling 
quacks.

	Mousse quietly cleaned the clutter that the lunchtime crowd left 
when they dashed out of the Cat Cafe.  When Mousse and Shampoo changed 
into their animal forms, everyone (save for a few honest ones) used the 
opportunity to run away under the guise of fear and not pay the bill. 
	The little kid did enjoy the chaos though, and Mousse thought that 
there might be something strangely wrong with that kid.  Now, Shampoo 
was visibly entertained by the kid's antics while Akane and Ranma 
apologized profusely for being the indirect cause of the scenario. 
	After a while, they left with the little kid on Ranma's shoulders, 
laughing about a private joke.
	Mousse heard Cologne call Shampoo.  There was this whispered 
conversation about following Ranma and Akane just to make sure that 
nothing strange would happen to threaten the engagement between Ranma 
and Shampoo.  He heard Shampoo happily exclaiming her wish that Junior 
was already her child. 
	Mousse recalled the way Shampoo had felt when Ranma defeated her, 
pressured so hard to leave the village and hunt Ranma to the ends of the 
earth.  He recalled searching for her though the long months right after 
she returned in disgrace from Japan.  Ranma and Akane coming at that 
point in time, their simple laugh with the child, as if they were one 
happy family, was everything he ever wanted to be with Shampoo.  He 
suddenly felt that all his life, he had been used.  That all this time, 
Shampoo had been using him for leverage to gain her own lustful ends 
with Ranma.
	He unceremoniously dumped the broom he had been using and walked 
out the front door. 

Chapter Six
Let's meet by the fountain

	Ranma and Akane sat by some fountain in the park, enjoying the way 
the water flowed, softly and coolly, complementing the breeze and the 
sunny sky.  The little kid stood on the other side, refilling his much-
used squirt gun for future targets.
	"Why are we here again, Akane?"  Ranma asked as he watched a leaf 
fall onto the water's surface.  Although the situation was pretty 
pleasant, the lack of action was beginning to get on his nerves.  He 
knew, by some mysterious paternal instinct that appeared from out of 
nowhere, that, after a few more minutes of waiting, Junior would become 
a bit impatient and become the little brat Nabiki so pleasantly 
described that morning.  He felt a little bit harried already, but as 
long as the kid remained on his good side, he knew that he could manage.
	Akane looked at her watch.  "Well... This was supposed to be the 
meeting place for our date."  She tapped her foot on the ground, making 
little squeaky noises.  "They were supposed to have been here a few 
minutes ago."
	Ranma felt a slight pang of jealousy on who this "our" could be, 
but tried not to show it.  "I really need to talk to them," Akane 
continued.  "Sayuri's and Yuka's phones where busy this morning and I 
wasn't able to tell them the change of plans."
	A pony-tailed girl appeared from the faceless crowd and began to 
walk to the two of them.  "Hey, Sayuri!"  Akane waved.  "Over here!"  
Sayuri looked pretty nervous about something and hesitantly approached.  
"I'm sorry for being late."  She took Akane's hands in hers.  "There's 
been a slight change in the plan, Akane.  I know that we planned the 
movie for just the three of us... I'm sorry."
	"What are you talking about?"  Akane asked, puzzled. 
	More faces appeared from the crowd.  It was Yuka leading Mio by 
the hand.  "Well... You see, Yuka tried to play matchmaker again, and 
she's set up Mio for a blind date."
	"A blind date?"  Ranma laughed.  "How can you set up a fortune 
teller on a blind date?"
	"A good question, Ranma," Mio replied in her normal mysterious way 
(all fortune tellers have to speak mysteriously, because the future is 
mysterious).  "Since I can see the future, I already knew who the person 
I was going to be introduced, his characteristics, his features, 
everything.  I would dare say that, this time, Yuka has found a near 
perfect match.  He might even be my karmic partner."
	Yuka, slightly ticked off when Mio said 'this time,' asked, "isn't 
soulmate a better word?"  She asked in a tone that would made it seem 
that all her matches were soulmates. 
	Mio began talking in occult terms.  "Well, soulmates are those 
people who share the same souls, and the same dreams.  Somehow, there 
exists an attractive force, the Ultimate Force, as it is sometimes 
called, that would make them seek each other, no matter where they are 
in the world, maybe even on whatever plane of existence.  However, there 
is also a repulsive force that activates when the two soulmates have 
become nearly intimate with each other.  What happens is a very painful 
separation that scars them even unto the next life, wherein they would 
try to seek each other again.  Soulmates are the most perfect of all 
match-ups, but they almost always end up in tragic circumstances. 
	"On the other hand, a karmic partner, although hard to find, would 
create a stable relationship, with no external forces trying to separate 
them.  Although they are a near perfect match-up, it has a higher degree 
of stability than most soulmates would.  It is all in the stars."
	Sayuri snapped her fingers.  "You mean like Lois Lane and Clark 
Kent?  You know, in the TV series Lois and Clark?  They spent a few 
seasons on the verge of getting married, then spent the next few ones 
trying to avoid the super-villains that try to rip them apart."
	"You don't say," Akane said, slightly bewildered.  But there was 
this certain ring of truth that she found indismissible. 
	Ranma leaned slightly back, but remembered the fountain behind 
him.  He sat back up straight again.  "Still, I still think that you're 
the one who decides your fate, and no crummy stars are going to change 
that."
	"Believe what you want, Ranma.  There's no changing fate."  She 
closed her eyes for a little while.  "Aha.  I feel him coming.  He will 
arrive..." she pointed to the other side of the fountain, "... in that 
general direction."
	They all looked at where she was pointing.  Junior was playing 
with some marbles he had found.  Yuka and Sayuri bigsweated.  Ranma and 
Akane, on the other hand, stared.
	"You mean, you know that kid?!?"  they exclaimed at the same time. 
	Mio found herself reddening.  "Of course not.  I said that they 
were going to come, not coming right now."
	"They?"  Akane asked.  "Who's they?"
	Sayuri found it her turn to explain.  "You see... Mio's blind date 
needed to have some people with him."
	Hiroshi and Daisuke arrived in two flicks of a dime, with 
Gosunkugi on a reluctant third toss.
	Hiroshi got a small microphone from out of nowhere.  "Look who's 
here!  It's the coolest man in the universe!  Hikaru Gosunkugi!"
	Daisuke's ears were ringing.  "Hiroshi, it didn't have to be that 
loud."
	Gosunkugi began to wither at Akane's nonchalant glance, but perked 
up at some mystic aura emanating from Mio.
	"I thought so..." Ranma walked over to the trio.  "What was that 
you guys said that you were going to do today?  Try out a new game at 
Gosunkugi's place?"  He shook his head, "what a lousy excuse."
	Hiroshi retorted, "what about your lame excuses whenever more than 
one fiancée shows up at the same time?"
	Sayuri followed through.  "Men like you don't deserve to be 
matched up with any women, {Count(Ranma.fiancées@Japan)}-timer!"
	Akane was beginning to get angry.  "You mean to tell me that you 
were going on a triple date without me knowing?"
	Yuka replied, "Daisuke did think that you were going to bring 
Ranma along, and he was right."  She glanced at Daisuke, who glanced at 
the same time on some silent signal.  "Guess that's it's going to be a 
quadruple date," she said smiling.
	"No... It's going to be a quintuple date."  Nabiki and Kuno 
appeared from the other side of the fountain.  She spoke to Akane.  
"Since you and Ranma were in such a hurry to get away from the park a 
while ago, I had to dig Kuno out with my bare hands."  She smiled.  
"Cost him a fortune."
	Kuno opened his mouth, with expected results.  "Ranma Saotome.  
Only infidels like you would leave wounded men behind.  Do you have no 
honor to leave a fair woman like Nabiki Tendo to dig me out from the 
hollowed ground, to do work not reserved for women?  You enemy of women!  
I shall smite thee when the time is right.  Prepare yourself." 
	He looked in Akane's direction.  "Oh, blessed Akane.  Though thou 
longst to throw yourself into my arms, I beg thee to wait, for I must 
honor the request of Nabiki Tendo.  Fear not!  For I still love you as 
long as the sun does shine and the sky be blue." 
	Ranma groaned.
	Of course, things get worse all the time.
	Ukyo arrived with Ryoga in tow.  "Hey!  Ranma invited me, too, you 
know."  She glomped over Ranma's right arm.  She gave this angry look at 
Ryoga, who slid over to Akane.  Ryoga said, embarrassedly laughing, "I 
guess that this is going to be a... uh... seven person date..."
	"Eight very lucky in China!"  Shampoo arrived with Junior in tow.  
"Ranma, don't forget Shampoo!  And little Ranma."
	"LITTLE RANMA!" 	
	Akane and Ranma just sighed.  "Here we go again..."
	
{
 Mayhem took a cold sip of ice tea.  He noticed the two staring at him a 
bit strangely.
 "..." 
 "Uh... Have I been overdoing the 'Junior' gag?"
 "..."
 "Fine..."
}

Chapter Seven
Getting back together again

	"So he's lost his father, huh?"  Yuka asked as Sayuri fuzzed over 
the "littl' thing."  It was a slightly long line to the film and no-
finesse martial arts fights were to be strictly avoided in the meantime.  
Akane tried not to look back where Ranma's arms were being used as a 
rope in a tug of war.  "I can't believe I'm pretending to be married 
that big idiot over there," she said, for the benefit of anyone who 
would have been listening.  She sighed.  And she thought that she had 
gone somewhere with him today.  A startling thought came over her.  
"Soulmates?"

	Ryoga walked quietly behind Akane.  Ukyo was quietly giving him 
the "go ahead, jackass or else..." look.  He remembered the conversation 
he had with Ukyo right after her discovery.  She did slap him, recalling 
the fact that P-Chan had this regular habit of sleeping in Akane's bed.  
"What kind of pervert are you?!?" she had said then, just as she was 
about to flatten him with mighty, mighty spatulae.  He was fortunate 
that the desperation of the situation made itself apparent to Ukyo.
	Ryoga could not believe the way Ranma's father is, using a poor 
and innocent little kid in a last ditch attempt to put Ranma and Akane 
together.  (Of course, he did not think the same way about Mr. Tendo, 
since he was Akane's father and such.)  First, he engaged Ranma to 
Akane, then engaged him to Ukyo, then he...
	Wait a second, Ryoga thought.  Why did he suddenly think about 
Ukyo?  She was his best friend, or the closest a martial artist could be 
to another martial artist, aside from marriage.  They were kindred 
souls, both of them loving someone who only thought of them as friends.  
Of course, they did argue about what each found in each other's beloved, 
thinking each other was trash or totally uncute, but those things didn't 
last for long. 
	No!  He couldn't think of Ukyo that way.  That would have been a 
false ending, and not a real happy one that he had dreamed for all this 
time.  He couldn't do that.  That would be cheating.  That would have 
been something Ranma would have wanted.  With his courage resolved, he 
walked side by side with Akane. 

	Akane looked at Ryoga's hard and resolute face as it gazed on the 
ground.  He was a friend, a best friend.  The only person in the mad 
world who was kind and gentle all the time, not like Ranma who had these 
strange mood swings every once in a while.  She sighed.  Was it fate 
that drove Ranma and her apart whenever things got rough?  She 
remembered what Mio had said.  "Soulmates are constantly driven apart by 
external forces and put together by internal forces.  However, karmic 
partners, though hard to find, have generally have a happier life than 
soulmates."  She thought quietly for a little while.  It was so obvious, 
she wondered why she didn't see it before.
	And, as they entered the dark theater, she tenderly reached out 
and linked arms with Ryoga.

{
 initialize seating_arrangement = [aisle, Gosunkugi, Mio, Sayuri, 
Hiroshi, Daisuke, Yuka, Akane, Ryoga, Ukyo, Ranma, Shampoo, Junior, 
random(people.names), aisle] 
 location(Nabiki_Tendo) = location(Tatewaki_Kuno) = 
MovieTheater@TheMostExpensiveSeats
}

	Ukyo smiled quietly to herself in triumph.  In the dark, she saw 
Akane leaning slightly on Ryoga in the seat to her left.  At last, she 
had finally managed to link Akane with Ryoga.  Only one more thing left 
on the hitlist.  She glared at the person to her right.  "Shampoo," she 
whispered, leaning over, "where's Mousse?"
	There was a visibly reddening hue that crept over Shampoo's face 
visible even in the dark.  "SHAMPOO NO CARE!"  she said quite loudly, 
and was hurriedly booed from behind.  Ukyo snickered, "seems like she 
was thinking about him."  She sighed contentedly, leaning on Ranma's 
shoulder, "well... I guess, that's that."
	"Or is it?"  Ukyo's conscience began bothering her.  "What about 
Ryoga?  Aren't you jealous?"
	"Jealous?"  Ukyo argued in her head.  "Me?  Jealous about Ryoga?"
	"You almost reduced him into a 2 x 4 slab on the ground when you 
found out that he was sleeping with Akane, now, you did."
	"Hey... That doesn't count, you know."
	Ukyo sighed.  She was arguing in vain.  Yes, she did felt jealous 
when he found out that he was already sleeping with Akane.  Memories 
flooded her vision of the time in the cave when everyone else thought 
that they were together.  They fought everyone from every side, even 
Ranma and Akane, insistently denying that anything was there.  And when 
Ryoga left on one of his long trips, there were still lots of questions 
left unanswered, lots of uncomfortable questions.
	That's why she was doing this.  Because she did not want to face 
the answers.  Because she was afraid of what she might find.  All that 
mattered to her was Ranma, the only person in her heart.  There was no 
room for anyone else there... save for...
	
	It bothered Shampoo the way Mousse walked out from the Cat Cafe.  
Of course she did not care for him, she thought.  She just missed the 
attention he was giving her. 
	Still, the laws of the tribe went above anything else.  And, even 
if she did care for him, she still had to marry Ranma, no matter what.
	There was something that Mousse said, Shampoo recalled.  Something 
about going after her dreams, to follow where her heart goes...  "Mousse 
probably want me to go against tribe."  But she smirked.  "But what 
tribe want, Shampoo want..."  And the tribe wanted Ranma to be her 
husband, to add to the strength of the clan.  And so, she loved Ranma, 
because the tribe loved him.
	A small part of her yelled in protest, but she buried it under a 
ton of popcorn.

	Ranma yawned as the movie began.  Not really digging these romance 
things (his father said that real men are not romantic, that only power 
was important), he found himself yawning.  The movie was about this bald 
man with glasses who was running away from his wife, who had brown hair 
tucked into a coif, because of some lame promise he made to her that he 
couldn't keep.  "What a cheesy plot," Ranma found himself snickering.  
Most of the movie was devoted to an explanation of honor and such and 
such that the bald man made to his friends, but inside, he was just 
running away.  There was a lot of angst, both on the part of the wife 
and the husband about being kept apart, and other details that Ranma 
didn't really find important.
	Then the wife came over to visit the house the bald man was 
staying in because of a phone call from one of the daughters of the 
owner.  Everyone in the house knew of the bald man's problem, and tried 
to hide him from the wife.  That is, except for one woman dressed in a 
one-piece yellow mini-skirt whose name Ranma couldn't quite catch, who 
wasn't able to get the whole story.  So when the men were away (the men 
empathized with the plight of the bald man, but the women in the movie 
snickered at him behind his back), the wife and the named-but-couldn't-
be-recalled woman (who had romantic links with the owner of the house 
that the bald man was staying, but that was another story) talked for a 
little while.
	Another scene, the bald man was sitting by the side of some river, 
talking to the owner of the house (who had really long black hair, and 
also felt the same way with the unnamed woman, but vowed to remain 
faithful to his wife who was dead for years) about reuniting with his 
wife but being afraid all this time.  It was a very touching scene, 
which was hailed by the critics as the winning part of the movie, where 
the macho image that the bald-man projected collapsed because of being 
kept away from the woman he loved. 
	The climax of the scene came when the husband and the wife finally 
met when the two fathers arrived from the riverbank.  Everyone expected 
the bald man to run away, but they met each other in a long and 
passionate embrace, which left half the audience crying.  The wife 
declared the promise null and void because that was the one thing that 
kept them apart after all these years.  "I don't care about the 
promise," the wife said, holding the bald man with tears in her eyes, 
"all I need is you."  The wife and the husband looked longingly into 
each other's eyes and kissed as the sun set in the background.  The 
credits rolled across the screen as the house owner and the unnamed 
woman looked on, wishing that someday they too will find the courage to 
take a step forward.

	Daisuke and Yuka took their leave immediately after the end of the 
movie, just in case the cease-fire between the martial artists ended. 
Sayuri was crying all over Hiroshi's arm.  "Did you see how he held 
her..." she cried, taking a few proffered tissues.  Gosunkugi and Mio 
mysteriously disappeared when no one was looking, but most of the people 
did see a dark shadow moving through the crowd.  Ranma woke up from his 
sleep when the lights went on again, and Ryoga was more or less 
unconscious, too, for other reasons.  Akane and Ranma stared angrily at 
each other for a little while when they found out who each was with 
during the course of the movie, then decided to pointedly ignore each 
other for the rest of the day.  Ukyo was glaring at Ryoga, who woke up a 
little bit later under Ukyo's harsh gaze.  Shampoo just sat quietly in 
her seat. 

	Soun and Miss Hinako left the two other significant adults.  They 
had a lot of catching up to do.

	"Where's Mousse?"  Akane found herself asking Shampoo, thinking 
that he was somewhere with them.
	A loud whoosh answered Akane as the silver screen burst into 
flames. 
	"RANMA SAOTOME!  PREPARE TO DIE!" 

	The chopsticks Kasumi was using snapped in two.  "A bad omen," she 
said, hurriedly leaving the house.

Chapter Eight 
A fight for life

	The fire caused a frightened mob to run out of the theater as fast 
as it could.  The stampede destroyed a lot of the seats and ravaged a 
clear path through the moviehouse.  Debris littered the floor as the mob 
crashed through the doors, effectively leaving a clear battleground.
	A large red battle aura surrounded Mousse.  He menacingly 
approached Ranma with fire in his eyes.  "Ranma Saotome, I challenge you 
to a fight to the death," he declared slowly. 
	There was a loud report, much like a shotgun, as the Mousse's 
words slowly sunk in. 
	"NOW THAT'S THE BEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY!"  Ranma cracked his 
knuckles. 
	Akane suddenly felt this strange queasiness in her stomach.  
"Ranma, don't you dare go into a fight with Mousse.  He's dead serious."
	"Of course I'm dead serious, Akane Tendo."  Mousse seemed like the 
devil himself, the horrible red battle aura complementing the fire as it 
quickly turned the far side of the theater into an inferno.  "For a long 
time now, I had devoted myself entirely to Shampoo.  I cleaned for her, 
I worked for her, I even imagined that someday I could share the rest of 
my life with her.  Now, I realize the truth.  All this time she has been 
using me as her washpail, as her old cloth rags, throwing me away 
whenever she did not need me anymore.  I don't know why I stayed quiet 
for so long."  He laughed insanely, "maybe because I loved her." 
	"But now, all I have is hate for Shampoo.  All this time she had 
my heart out on a limb, laughing as she saw it break, smashed it into a 
million pieces.  A simple smile healed my heart quickly, but she did 
that just so that she could have the pleasure of seeing it break again.  
Not a day would pass where she would not ground my heart, or throw it to 
the dogs, or do cruel and merciless acts, just for the sake of seeing me 
suffer.  But, now... now, my eyes are clear."
	Ukyo looked at Shampoo.  "No, Mousse..." Shampoo was murmuring.  
"No do this to Shampoo."
	Ranma taunted him.  "Your eyes still aren't clear, Mousse.  You're 
still blind as a bat!  Fighting me won't do any good!  She won't love 
you even if you defeat me."  Ranma began to generate a small blue aura 
around him as his body snapped into the Traditional Anything Goes 
Fighting Form.
	Mousse's eyes glowed an insane hue.  "Ranma Saotome.  You're 
wrong."  A few chained weapons began to detach themselves from Mousse's 
body, floating in the chi-saturated atmosphere of the moviehouse.  "All 
I want is to make Shampoo's life A Living HELL!"  With a loud yell, he 
hurled himself and his weapons in a deadly whirlwind of chi and metal 
and fists.
	Ranma's blue aura grew in intensity as he dashed into the 
maelstrom.  The air was filled with shockwaves as attacks were launched 
and blocked, then counterattacked.  A strong gale blew from the center 
of the impromptu battle arena, filled with debris from the floor as it 
cracked under the pressure of the enormous willpower.
	Akane crawled over to Shampoo, who was seemingly in shock over 
what was happening.  "Shampoo never see Mousse that mad in entire life!"
	Ukyo shouted over the din.  "There's no way Mousse can win.  
Ranma's a lot stronger than Mousse."
	Ryoga yelled.  "Don't you see!  This is a fight to the death!  No 
matter who would win, only one person will be left!"
	Akane couldn't believe what was happening.  Ukyo was right.  There 
was no way Mousse could win against Ranma.  That would mean that...  
"MOUSSE!  RANMA!  STOP THIS!"  She stood up and began running towards 
where the two were fighting.
	Ryoga and Ukyo grabbed Akane's ankles.  She fell down to the floor 
with a loud thump.  "AKANE!"  Ryoga pulled her back, away from the 
danger zone.  "There's nothing you can do!"
	"Why?!?  Why can't we make them stop!"  Akane was trying really 
hard to get away from Ryoga.  "I suppose you're hoping that Ranma's 
going to die so that you can have Ukyo all to yourself!"
	Ryoga slapped Akane.  "SHUT UP!"  he screamed.  Then, the 
implications of his act stunned him.  Akane stood there, holding the 
sore spot.  Amidst the chaos that surrounded them all, tears began to 
fall.  "Please, Ryoga..." Akane pleaded.  "Please make them stop... I 
beg you!" 
	Ryoga felt his heart lurch out.  He couldn't bear to see Akane 
cry.  It took Ukyo's strong hands to hold him back.  "You jackass!  What 
the hell are you doing!"
	"I've got to stop them!  I can't... I've got to!"
	"WHY, RYOGA?!?  WHY?!?"
	Ryoga looked Ukyo straight in the eye.  "BECAUSE SHE'S RIGHT!"
	Ukyo looked at him stunned.
	There were loud screams of pain as some of the attacks got through 
someone's blocks.  Drops of blood could be seen on the floor.  But the 
fight continued relentlessly. 
	There was a flurry of movement, and Akane, Ukyo and Ryoga saw 
Shampoo run off. 

	Ranma blocked every attack that Mousse dished out.  Inside the 
twisting vortex of energy, he was surprised at the strength and ferocity 
of Mousse's attacks.  "Mousse is really playing for keeps this time," he 
thought as a chi-enhanced Fist of the White Swan Barrage Attacks ripped 
pieces of cloth of his Chinese shirt.  He didn't want to hurt Mousse, 
but the way the battle was going, only a strong and perhaps fatal attack 
could punch through his defenses.
	He saw a flutter of movement somewhere from his right.  It was 
Shampoo, running towards them at breakneck speeds.  "Shampoo!  Don't 
come any closer!" 
	Mousse, on the other hand, did not see her coming, and seeing 
Ranma's apparent distraction, brought all of his strength to bear on 
Ranma in a devastating roundhouse punch.
	"Mousse!"  Shampoo screamed, pushing Ranma out of the way.  
"Mousse!  You no have to do this!"
	Mousse horrifyingly tried to stop the attack, but it was too late.
	A massive shock wave ripped the cement floor, blew holes in the 
roof and snuffed out the flames as Mousse's fist came in contact with 
Shampoo.  The force of the blow blasted her though a nearby wall, 
burying her underneath a pile of rubble.
	 A terrible silence descended upon all of them, much, much more 
terrifying than the roar of battle.

Chapter Nine
Aftermath

	"SHAMPOO!"  Ranma's scream echoed through the now-silent theater.  
He hurriedly dug through the rubble, expecting to see Shampoo's broken 
body.  A sigh of relief came over him as he realized that Shampoo was 
still breathing.  He collapsed on the floor.
	An enraged Ukyo picked Mousse from off the floor using just one 
hand.  "JUST WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!"  She was about to 
strike him when she felt water fall on the hand that was holding Mousse 
a few feet from the floor.  Mousse cried hot and bitter tears, tears 
that he had kept for so long, tears dripping down his cheek.  Ukyo threw 
him roughly to the floor.  "My God, what have I done," he sobbed.
	Akane stood up in shock, suddenly remembering.  "WHERE'S 
JUNIOR?!?"
	"Over here!"  Sayuri called from a portion of the theater where a 
piece of the upper balcony caved in.  "It's Junior!  I think he's okay!  
Someone get him to the hospital, quick!"
	The exit doors at the far end of the ruined moviehouse crashed to 
the ground as two figures entered.  Dr. Tofu grasped the situation at a 
glance.  "Kasumi!  Go and help Shampoo.  I'll take care of the little 
kid."  He hurriedly ran over to the little kid, while Kasumi went to 
check on Shampoo.  In his haste, Dr. Tofu dropped his glasses. 
	Akane heard a third person enter the room.  "Son!"  the man 
bellowed.  "Where is my son?!?"
	"Oh no," Akane thought.  "It's Junior's father!"
	Hiroshi held Sayuri protectively as Dr. Tofu and the man checked 
on Junior's vital signs.  "He's stable now," Dr. Tofu declared after a 
few terse seconds.  Sayuri breathed a sigh of relief, and Hiroshi held 
her tighter, sharing her pain.  He led her away, to fresh air.
	"Someone take him to the hospital."  The father was only too happy 
to comply.  Junior began to moan.  "Dad..." he said, coughing, "I'm 
okay.  You can put me down now."  "No son, we have to go the hospital, 
just to make sure."  The father and son ran out through the broken doors 
and disappeared, stepping over Dr. Tofu's glasses in the process. 
	Dr. Tofu stumbled his way over to Kasumi, who applied first aid to 
Shampoo.  After a few minutes, she was weakly complaining.  "Shampoo 
Chinese Amazon.  It take more than stupid punch to beat Shampoo." 
	Ukyo walked over were Ranma was still on the floor, weak with 
relief.  Ukyo held Ranma's hand protectively. 
	Akane felt warm hands on her shoulder.  Ryoga wanted very much to 
comfort her, to take her in his arms, but it was not his place.  She 
cared for Ranma, he knew, she cared for Ranma more than anything else in 
the world.
	It was too much for Akane.  Mousse going berserk, Shampoo almost 
getting herself killed, Junior... It was all her fault.  She should have 
kept an eye on Junior.  She should have been sitting beside her and not 
beside Ryoga a while ago just to spite Ranma.  She hated herself.  She 
had this tremendous desire to run away, to just run away. 
	There was the sound of running footsteps.  Ranma sat up to see 
Akane's departing figure.  "AKANE!" he yelled, forgetting everything.  
He ran after her, as fast as he could. 
	Ukyo was stunned to see Ranma jump away like that.  At the same 
time, there was this loud crashing noise where Ryoga crashed to the wall 
in a fit of depression.  Ukyo didn't ask herself which path to follow.  
She just upped and ran.  
	Seeing that it was all over, Kasumi leaned on Dr. Tofu's arm.  
"Let's leave them alone..." she said, whispering quietly in his ear.  
Dr. Tofu was amazed that he wasn't going crazy. He reached out to take 
Kasumi's hand.  "Please lead the way," he smiled sheepishly, "I can't 
see very well without my glasses."  Kasumi smiled a quiet and simple 
smile.  The two of them walked out hand in hand. 
	They left Shampoo and Mousse in the ruins of the empty theater. 

	One floor above, another couple stepped out of the doors of the 
upper balcony.  "Well, that was a good movie," Nabiki said in her normal 
coldly calculating tone.  "Going out on this date was such a good idea, 
Kuno.  If you find yourself buried neck deep in the ground, give me a 
call, okay?"
	Kuno, covered with dust, said with much pain in his voice, "How 
could you be so insensitive, Nabiki Tendo?"  He left Nabiki staring at 
his back dumbfounded.
	"What the heck was that?"

Chapter Ten 
Equilibrium Reached 
	
	The setting sun cast quiet shadows into the dark interior of the 
ruined moviehouse, filling the auditorium with soft, yellow-orange 
light.  Only two people were left to witness this, these being Shampoo 
and Mousse.  Everyone else had left, as soon as they could, to avoid 
getting blamed for the incident, except for them.  Now, each waited for 
the other to leave first, each waiting in vain.
	Shampoo gazed at Mousse's crumpled form on the ground.  She 
couldn't help but feel that it was somehow all her fault, that all this 
time she had taken Mousse for granted.  She took a hesitant step 
forward.
	She placed a hand on Mousse's shoulder.  "Mousse," she said, 
wanting to share in his pain, "you no have to cry.  Let's go home."
	Mousse looked away.  "Shampoo... I'm sorry for causing all this 
trouble.  I just... I just..."
	"No, Mousse, you no have to talk.  It all Shampoo fault.  Shampoo 
treated Mousse like old rag.  Mousse only did honorable thing."
	Mousse shook his head.  "You don't understand.  I almost killed 
you.  That's inexcusable.  I... I don't have a right to treat you that 
way.  All this time, I wanted you to be happy.  I wanted to spare you 
from pain.  When Ranma came with Akane and the little kid, it seemed 
that they were one happy family, that somehow something wonderful was 
going on."  He looked into Shampoo's eyes, his own eyes glistening with 
tears.  "They're going to get married someday, Shampoo.  I couldn't bear 
to see you hurt that way.  I thought that either Ranma, or I, should 
die.  I thought that it would be better if I forced you to see the light 
before it was too late.  I was wrong.  But you can't force people to 
love you.  You just can't.  You're going to love Ranma, even if you end 
up getting hurt."
	"But you win, now," Shampoo said, holding Mousse in her arms.  
"You defeat Chinese Amazon in combat.  Now you become Shampoo's husband.  
Is that what Mousse wanted, all this time?"
	Mousse threw Shampoo's arms down.  "You aren't listening to me, 
Shampoo.  No matter what I do, you're still going to love Ranma.  You 
almost died for him.  I... I don't have a place in your heart.  All I 
want is for you to be happy.  That is all.  Even if... even if I'm the 
one who ends up being hurt."  He began to walk away.  "Goodbye, Shampoo.  
You'll never see me again.  Go to Ranma.  I declare this marriage null 
and void."
	"What about tribal laws?  What would ancient and honorable 
ancestors say?"  She grabbed his arm, begging him to stay, if not for 
her, then for the tribe.
	Mousse looked away.  "Shampoo, this isn't love.  You've hated me 
for a long time, ever since we were kids.  A single fight won't make you 
feel the same way for me."  He gently lifted Shampoo's hand of her arm.  
"Go Shampoo.  You're really in love with Ranma, and not with me.  I... I 
can never make you as happy as he would."  He stood up as straight as a 
broken man can.  "Ranma's the one you're supposed to love, not me."  He 
sighed, "one can only wish for heaven to come to a man such as I."
	When Mousse said this, Shampoo felt a pile of bricks crash down on 
her again.  Mousse was letting her go just because she loved Ranma.  
"What noble and honorable man Mousse is.  Shampoo wonder why she never 
see it before."  For the first time in her life, she felt shame for her 
actions, a shame that sent waves of grief washing over her like waves on 
the beach.  Mousse really cared for her.  Even if Mousse were to go 
against the world, he would gladly do it.  Now, he was walking away, 
because he felt Ranma to be the right one for her.  But, is Ranma the 
right one for her?  She wasn't sure now.  Her life had suddenly lost its 
direction, the path that she had thought to be the truth was false, and 
the path that she did not follow lead to true happiness.  She felt as 
helpless as a child once again.
	She crumpled to the ground, sobbing softly.  "I... I wrong all 
this time," she said between each quiet sob.  "Shampoo feel like most 
dishonorable woman in all the world."  She tried to shake the sadness 
off.  "Shampoo no cry.  Chinese Amazon no cry.  It sign of weakness," 
she bravely said, but there was this pain in her eyes that melted 
Mousse's resolution.  He couldn't bear to see her cry.  "Go ahead and 
cry, Shampoo," Mousse said with all his heart.  "I won't tell anybody 
that you cried.  It'll be our little secret.  Crying is good, it would 
make you feel better afterwards," he said, opening his arms. 
	Shampoo tearfully jumped into his arms, crying as she had never 
cried before.  All the pain and the shame in her heart bawled out like a 
burst pipe.  "Shampoo need Mousse," she whispered quietly.  "Please, 
Mousse say that he forgive Shampoo..."
	Mousse held her tenderly.  "I won't leave you Shampoo..."  He said 
quietly.  "I'll never leave you ever again."
	A cool breeze passed by. 

	A mysterious dark cloud watched the events from an undisclosed 
location.  The sun set in a beautiful canopy of colors.  After a while, 
they weren't watching anymore.

	Ranma ran through the streets searching for Akane.  It scared him, 
it scared the hell out of him, the way Akane ran away from the disaster 
area with tears in her eyes.  He knew, he knew deep in her heart that 
Akane blamed herself for what had happened.  He had to talk to her, he 
really had to, before she... she...  He shook his head.  He did not want 
to think about the consequences. 
	The Tendo Dojo seemed hauntingly vacant.  She was nowhere to be 
found.  She was not in the yard, not in the kitchen, and not in her 
room.   What frightened Ranma the most was the fact that Akane wasn't in 
the training hall.  If she was normally angry, she would have been 
smashing bricks there, but the stillness of the room echoed Ranma's 
fear.
	He walked over to the koi pond, wondering what to do next when he 
heard a soft sobbing sound somewhere behind him and was surprised that 
it actually came from the roof.  In two bounds, he was on the rooftop 
and, at the far end of which was Akane, gazing at the setting sun.
	"So, there you are!  I've been looking all over for you," Ranma 
not-so-quite yelled, walking over to her, then stopped as he noticed 
tears glistening in the last few rays of the setting sun.  "Oh, darn," 
he thought.  "Akane, you've got to come down, you've gotten everyone 
worried sick about you.  Akane, please..."  The last part of his 
sentence drowned in his mouth as Akane turned her back toward him. 
	"I don't want you here, Ranma.  Please, just leave me alone," she 
said softly, not looking at him, not wanting him to see her tears.  Deep 
inside, she wanted desperately to hold someone, to hold someone as she 
shed her tears, bitter tears she had kept for the entire afternoon.  She 
wanted to hold Ranma at least for a moment, for a little while, she 
wanted him to tell her that it was all okay, that it was all a horrible 
nightmare that would go away.  "Please, just go..."
	Ranma berated himself.  He hated seeing Akane cry.  He hated 
himself not being able to do anything about it but would make things 
worse.  He wanted to hold her that moment, to tell her that it was all 
okay, that it was not her fault.  A thousand words died in his throat as 
he tried to speak.  Not knowing what else to do, he placed his hand on 
her shoulder.
	"I won't leave you, Akane."  Ranma's heart was in his throat as 
Akane slowly turned towards him, as a cool wind blew softly through her 
hair, as he saw her eyes filled with a tender...
	... burning hatred, as Akane slapped him on his cheek.
	"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!?"  Ranma angrily screamed.  
	Akane turned her back once again to Ranma, hiding the pain she 
felt behind a wall of hate, a wall that she had depended upon for so 
long, a wall that she longed to tear down.  She remembered the way Ukyo 
held him back at the theater, or the fact that he defended Shampoo.  "I 
don't want your pity, Ranma," she said, looking away.  "I can do this on 
my own.  I'm asking you, please, just leave me alone."
	"Oh, I see," Ranma said in barely contained rage.  "For the first 
time in a long while, I do something nice for you, and this is the 
thanks I get."  He also turned his back on Akane.  "Not only are you 
uncute, you're also so stubborn."  He harrumphed.  "Sometimes, I wonder 
why I even bother... Why don't I just leave you, then?"
	"Why don't you do that, Ranma?  After all, you're always thinking 
about yourself.  You jerk."
	"At least I'm not the one who almost killed a little kid just 
because she was angry and---"
	That last remark tore though Akane like a shot.  Guilt over what 
she had almost done.  Anger at herself for losing control.  Hate.  
Shame.  The wall of hate that shielded her from the outside world began 
to choke her with sobs of helplessness and shame.  She should have kept 
a closer eye on Junior.  "Oh, no... What have I done," she thought, 
trying with all her might not to let the tears flow.  She was sure Ranma 
was laughing at her right now.  No, she won't let him see her tears.  No 
way.
	Ranma stopped himself as he blurted out the last sentence.  He 
suddenly turned around, expecting to see the worst.  And he was right. 
	There was a look of intense sadness in Akane's eyes before it 
clouded over.  She smiled bitterly. "You really don't care about me, do 
you, Ranma?  You like Ukyo, or maybe Shampoo, or maybe even Kodachi."  
It was more a statement rather than a question.  It felt strange for her 
to acknowledge what she had feared for the past months, from the moment 
that Shampoo arrived in Nerima.  The feeling that there was no way for 
her and Ranma to be together since every other girl that chased after 
Ranma was better than her in everything.  They were better martial 
artists, better at being a girl than her (even Ukyo), and worse, they 
were better cooks.  There was a dull pain in her heart as she said, 
"maybe it's one of the numerous fiancées.  Why spend your time here when 
you could have all of them?  I bet you've been waiting for me to say 
those words for a long time now.  Go on!  Leave!  See if I care."
	A twisting tornado of darkness blew through his soul and sent it 
to places of eternal sadness.  He knew it.  He knew that she did not 
like him.  The one thing that kept him going when the times went tough, 
the thought that she cared, that she cared only for him.  He had always 
known that she did not really care for him but he kept himself in that 
comfortable illusion, that someday things would go better, that someday 
he would find the courage to say the words, those words.  It was strange 
to find his worst fear actually becoming true.  His heart shattered into 
a million pieces. 
	He fought the growing fear in his stomach.  "I didn't say that!"
	"Then how come you always keep doing this?  Huh?"
	"You talk, how come you always keep shoving me away?"
	"Is it because I'm not good enough for you, is that it?!?"  They 
both declared at the same time.
	A stunned silence blew across the wind like feathers in the breeze 
as realization hit them like a ton of bricks.  The loud and 
uncomfortable silence stilled even the breeze, as it died in mid-stroke.
	Akane was the first to speak.  She hid the pain that she felt 
inside in a façade of ennui.  "That's it," she declared and began 
walking away from Ranma.  "Since we're not good enough for each other, 
I'm going to call it off."
	"Call what off?"  Ranma asked in a tone that belied his inner 
turmoil. 
	"All of it!"  She waved her hands vaguely in the air.  "This 
stupid engagement!  This stupid thing about carrying on the Anything-
Goes School.  All of it."  She noticed Ranma starting to open his mouth.  
She cut him off with a gesture.  "Now, don't you say no, Ranma.  You saw 
what happened today.  It's never going to work out.  You said so 
yourself."  She smirked, "now you can have all your other fiancées all 
to yourself."
	Ranma stammered a retort.  Unable to find one, he said, "Don't 
Akane, you... we're going to regret it."
	"How can you regret that?"  Akane had this insane gleam in her eye 
that Ranma rarely saw.  "You don't care about me, you said."  She began 
mimicking his voice.  "You're not going to spend the rest of your life 
with a tomboy, you said.  What kind of a girl is she, can't even take 
care of little kids, you said.  At least I'm not the one who almost 
killed Junior, you said."  She looked him straight in the eye.  "This 
has to end now."
	Something inside Ranma snapped.  "FINE, AKANE!  IF YOU WANT IT 
THAT WAY, FINE!  If you want to call it all off, go right ahead, I won't 
get in your way."  He was about to jump away, away from it all, but 
there was something that held him back.  "And here I thought that 
something good was finally happening between the two of us," he 
whispered quietly.  "But it's all a darn lie."
	Akane's heart leaped at Ranma's words.  She felt the same thing.  
She thought that perhaps there was a chance that they could be... But 
Ranma was lying, wasn't he?  After all, how could he love someone like 
her who almost killed a little boy to attack him for spite.  "You're 
lying through your teeth," she said bitterly.  "You lie all the time..." 
	"Then I'm lying when I say that I..."  Ranma paused as he suddenly 
found himself in a middle of a trap with only one way out of.  There was 
no turning back. 
	"That you what..." Akane dared him, hoping against hope that he 
would say...
	"That I... That I don't really care for you!"
	Time seemed to stop for Akane as the words she wanted to hear for 
so long, words she never knew, never dared to think, would come from 
Ranma.  A cool breeze began to blow, causing the smooth surface of the 
koi pond to ripple in response.  She couldn't help but notice the hard-
set features of Ranma's face as he said it, as he said it with all his 
heart, the way the wind tossed the tightly-bound pig-tail to and fro. 
The way his eyes shimmered in the sunset light...
	The declaration needed a reply.  "Ranma... You..."
	Ranma's heart thudded against his chest.  He said it!  He finally 
managed to say it!  But, what good will it do, now that he knew that 
Akane did not care for her the same way.  Grief and despair loosened his 
tongue and all the emotions he had kept bottled up for all these months 
raged forth like water from a burst dam. 
	"Idiot, don't you get it.  I... I care for you, dammit.  I never 
liked Shampoo or Ukyo or Kodachi or all those other women.  I cared only 
for you."  He looked away, not wanting to see her mocking glance.  "I... 
I just couldn't say it because I was afraid that something like this was 
going to happen." 
	He smiled a bittersweet smile, a smile of one who has gone to hell 
and back.  "I never lived in a dream, Akane.  I always knew that you 
never cared for me.  I... I couldn't face up to the rejection.  So I 
told myself that I should prepare for the time that you would tell me 
how you really feel, that you don't feel that way.  Maybe that's why I 
keep saying the wrong things all the time.  It's because I was afraid 
that saying the right thing was wrong."
	He looked up to the sky.  "But I had hope, Akane.  Hope is not a 
dream.  I always hoped that someday, you and I could be together, 
without all these people trying to push us together and pulling us 
apart.  But you were right.  You said it.  You just didn't care about 
me.  You want to call the engagement off.  Now, I realize that you're 
right, that I have been living a dream, that I had wasted these past few 
months clinging on to something that wasn't really there."  Unknown to 
him, bitter tears began flowing on his cheek.  He tried hard to push 
them back, but he couldn't help it.  There was this intense feeling of 
loss. 
	"What's the use," Ranma said, turning his back on Akane.  He did 
not want her to see the tears he said, fearing that she would mock him 
even more.  "What's the use of Ukyo or Shampoo or all those other women 
loving me, when I can't love them back?  All I care about is you.  But 
now, what's the use since you don't really care..."  His voice began to 
break. 
	He wanted to run away. 
	He needed to run away. 
	He must run away.
	He tried to jump, but something held him back. 
	It was Akane, holding on tightly to his Chinese shirt.
	Ranma looked into the sparking tear-stained eyes.  He felt a 
certain softness in them that he felt only rarely.  He blocked off the 
warm feeling he had, it was all just a dream.  "Dammit, Akane," he said, 
trying very hard not to look into those eyes, "don't give me your false 
pity."	
	"Shut up..."  She looked into his eyes and saw the pain mirrored 
inside.  She depended on Ranma for everything.  She hated him crying.  
He needed her, like she needed him.  "I... I feel the same way, you 
idiot." 
	Ranma couldn't believe his ears.  The moment when he had thought 
that all was lost...  The moment that he thought he was going to spend 
the rest of his life never knowing how...  "Akane?" 
	"Ranma, I'm sorry, I never knew how..."  She began wiping the 
tears away, and began crying herself.  "You must think that I'm some 
kind of idiot, crying---"
	The last part of her sentence was muffled by Ranma's chest as he 
took her into his arms, just as the last rays of the sunset filled the 
western sky in flames of crimson red.  Both of them wanted this for so 
long, it was almost a relief.  The soft breeze that was blowing a while 
ago returned in soft whispers, tossing their hair as they touched.  The 
sky, the trees, the water, the grass, everything was perfect.
	There was nothing more needed to be said.
	"Ranma, I...I..." she began, squeezing her grip on Ranma's body. 
	"No, don't... You don't have to say it... I know..." he said, 
running his hand through her hair.
	"Ranma... I... I love you, too..." she said, looking into his 
eyes.
	"Will you just shut up..." he said lovingly, looking into her 
eyes.
	"No, you shut up..." Akane said, tenderly.
	The wind sighed.  Some things never change.

	Genma and Nodoka slipped out of the house when no one was looking. 

	Ukyo ran after Ryoga, knowing what kind of damage a frenzied 
depressed maniac can do.  In her mind's eye, she saw the entire Nerima 
district being blown up by a full shi-shi hokodan.  It was relatively 
easy for her to follow Ryoga.  He left a large trail of dust and debris 
behind him.
	The trail led into the park behind a cluster of trees where it 
stopped.  Ukyo looked around her, then heard a voice calling her.  
"Ukyo!  Over here!"  Ryoga called from somewhere below the ground. 
	Ukyo found Ryoga stuck in a deep pit.  "How the heck did you get 
down there, you jackass?"  She peered into the pit. 
	Ryoga's warning came too late.  "Ukyo!  Don't come any closer---"
	Ukyo fell into the pit with a loud thump.
	"Oww... That hurt."  She looked around them.  There was not much 
room inside the hole, a tight squeeze for two people.  "Where's Ryoga?"  
She thought, and a squirming body below her caught her attention.  "Oh, 
sorry..."
	She helped him up to his feet.  "Are you okay, Ryoga?  You got me 
worried back there when you ran out like some kind of freak.  You've got 
to get a grip."
	"What's there to hold a grip on," Ryoga said, "Akane loves Ranma.  
There's no place for me in their happy family, unless I become a pig and 
become their pet."
	Ukyo slapped him.  Of course, that didn't make much of an impact 
on Ryoga, him being as hard as rock.  "Come on now, Ryoga.  There's a 
lot more fish in the sea.  I don't see what you see in that tomboy 
Akane."
	"You should talk.  Ranma's a very dishonorable man.  I wonder what 
you see in him?"
	"Well... Ranma can be pretty nice, sometimes..." she said 
dreamily.
	"Yeah, pretty nice as he dates behind your back," he declared 
sarcastically.
	"And what's there with Akane?"
	"Akane's very caring.  And she's very... uh..."
	"Nice to sleep with?"
	"Hey, take that back!"
	"You take what you said back first."
	The two stared each other down.  Then, they became melancholy.
	"Face it," Ryoga spoke, looking downcast.  "Ranma and Akane are a 
couple now.  There's no place for us, there."
	"Yeah... Even thinking about it makes me sick.  My Ranchan ending 
up with that hussy Akane?"
	"And my Akane with that pervert Ranma?"
	They both sighed.
	"Well," Ukyo said, feeling the need to be optimistic just in case 
the guy she was sharing a small hole with should berserk, "maybe this is 
fate.  We've devoted most of our lives to just one particular person, 
that we have stopped looking around.  You know, looking at just one 
flower when there a thousand more out there."
	"You mean something like stopping to smell the other flowers, and 
stuff like that?"  Ryoga began to think.  "I guess you're right.  Most 
of the time I get lost, all I do is just think of her that I forget 
looking around me.  There was even a time when I was almost hit by a 
truck...  Never mind, you'll just get bored."
	But Ukyo was interested.  "Please.  Go on.  I promise I won't get 
bored."
	The closeness of the place began to get to Ryoga's nerves.  "Ah...  
Don't you think we should get ourselves out first," he laughed a nervous 
laugh.
	Ukyo looked around.  "Well, climbing out is out of the question.  
The hole is too narrow to do that."  She thought for a while.  "You can 
get us out, right?  I mean, you're a better martial artist then I am, 
and you travel a lot.  Most probably you have a special technique for 
getting people out of holes."
	"Ah... Actually, I just waited for the rain to come, so I can 
become a pig and I could climb or float out."
	"Some help you are.  I know!  Maybe we can call for help."
	"I think the sun's already set.  Most of the people around here 
have already gone home.  There's no one outside."
	The hopelessness of the situation began to sink in.  "ARRGHH!  I'm 
going to get whoever dug this hole!"  Ryoga began banging the walls, 
pretty hard if you're in a tight spot with a cute girl that even mere 
body contact would cause you to lose blood.
	"Hey, get a grip, will 'ya.  The walls might cave in."
	"Well, what the heck do we do until morning?"
	Ukyo, ever the practical one, "well, you could tell me stories."
	"Promise you won't get bored?"
	"At least that's better than banging our heads on the walls."
	A few minutes later, they were laughing heartily in the small glow 
of Ryoga's portable lamp.
	"Hey, this was a good idea," Ryoga said, between laughs.  "I might 
actually like spending a night in a hole in the ground, with you, I 
mean."
	"Yeah, me, too..."
	There was a short interval for looking into each other's eyes and 
blushing.
	"What you said back at the theater..." Ukyo asked, noticing the 
way the light cast shadows on his face.
	"Ah... eh... I... I..."
	"Don't... You don't have to explain.  Maybe it's fate," she said, 
blushing. 
	Ryoga gulped.  "Still... I... think we should stay friends for a 
while..." Ryoga said. 
	"Yeah... I don't want this to be a rebound thing.  I... I don't 
want to get hurt anymore."
	"Maybe, someday..." he said, looking in her eyes, not seeing 
Akane.
	"Hopefully..." she said, looking in his eyes, not seeing Ranma. 
	And, so, the two spent a night in a small hole in the ground, 
built for two, exchanging stories over the soft glow of a portable lamp.

	Kasumi led Dr. Tofu on the most indirect route back to the clinic.

	"Why the heck am I doing this again?"  Nabiki Tendo found her way 
to the Furinkan High school soccer field.  And, sure enough, a lone man 
with a bokken bid farewell to the setting sun.
	She walked over to him.  Kuno's back was turned to her, as he 
stood gazing at the red orb as it hung lowly above the horizon.  "Ah... 
If it isn't the cruel and heartless Nabiki Tendo.  Tell me, what brings 
you here to the hollowed grounds of Furinkan High?"
	"I have to safeguard my assets," she replied.  She took out a 
small wad of pictures from her pocket.  "I still have these pictures I 
haven't sold yet.  You still wanna buy them?"
	"I have no need of them," Kuno said slowly.  "By my own eyes, I 
have seen true love.  It is the love that burns and ravages the soul, 
turns one into a raving lunatic, and consumes the man afflicted by it.  
I have seen the full power of Ranma Saotome, and finally know that I 
cannot defeat him no matter how hard I try.  Let him keep the pig-tailed 
girl and Akane Tendo.  For I know now that they shall be protected unto 
death by Ranma Saotome."
	Nabiki took on an air of ennui.  "You mean to say that you've 
given up on the two of them."
	Kuno replied, "No.  For I still care for them as long as the sun 
will shine.  But they have a much better protector than I..."  He took a 
deep breath.  "What fools these mortals be.  All of us hide behind masks 
that cloak what we really are inside.  For Saotome, it is a cloak of 
incompetence that fooled even the keenest of eyes.  I wear a mask of 
poetic justice.  And you, Nabiki Tendo, you hide behind your appearance 
of calculated equanimity.  You are heartless by definition, but your 
presence here indicates otherwise."
	"What do you mean to say," Nabiki asked with nearly closed eyes.
	"Ah!  A sudden interest from the unmovable Queen of Capitalism?  
For we hide behind masks, to protect our true self from the piercing 
gazes of others, for we cower in fear of being laughed at or scorned.  
But, sooner, we find ourselves becoming the masks that we wear, and we 
long for the true self that we have so callously lost.  I have seen 
through your mask, Nabiki Tendo, and I find a heart that is as pure as 
the light of the sun.
	"For that little boy has melted the heart of stone that you have 
trapped yourself in.  I saw the look in your eyes when you saw the 
balcony upon him, a horrified and desperate look that pierced through 
your cool and composed self.  Why is it that disasters bring out the 
best in men, when desperation forces him to reach beyond the shell he 
has created around himself.  Perhaps, it is because of the primal 
instinct of survival, that we cannot live alone in the world.  Inside 
your soul, you constantly seek out and yearn for another.  You have a 
caring heart, Nabiki.  Do not be ashamed to show it."
	It was 5:34 PM, the moment when the sunset was at its most 
beautiful.  No words passed between them as the flaming ball that was 
the sun ended its long arc through the sky, to be replaced by more 
distant suns. 
	Kuno took out a small bouquet of flowers.  "Nabiki Tendo, I would 
humbly ask you out on a date with the Blue Thunder---"
	Nabiki slapped him.  "What do you think I am, some kind of idiot?  
There's no way you could make me go out with you," she walked away, 
leaving the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High on the ground.
	Unseen by any mortal eyes, Nabiki Tendo broke out into a smile.  
"I would like to go out on a date with Tatewaki Kuno, not the Blue 
Thunder," she said quietly to herself. 

	Hiroshi and Sayuri limped out of the theater just as the police 
and rescue vehicles arrived at the scene.  Daisuke and Yuka ran up to 
them, with a concerned look.  "What happened," they asked at the same 
time.
	Hiroshi looked at Sayuri for a little while.  "Next time," he 
said, gazing into her eyes, "Let's not invite martial artists over."

	"Thank you for all your help," the man gave and his son gave a low 
bow to Mr. Tendo and Miss Hinako.  Soun apologized, "we're sorry about 
the accident."  The man shook his head.  "Don't be.  Junior here is a 
very tough boy.  It would take more than a few bricks to keep him in 
bed."  He lifted the little boy and placed him on his shoulder.  
"Well...  We have to go now, still have a long way to go...  Say goodbye 
to the kind people, Junior."  "Bye-bye, Uncle Tendo.  Bye-bye, Miss 
Hinako."  The gate opened then shut as the father and son tandem took 
their leave.
	Miss Hinako said, "I guess I have to go, too."  She gave a low bow 
to Soun and stood up.  There was an awkward silence as each waited for 
the other to make the first move.
	It ended up both of them doing it the same time. 
	Memories of the morning's rumble in the dining room came back to 
them in vivid recollection.
	The brat began tickling Genma, causing furry arms and legs flying 
over the place.  Miss Hinako was knocked off her feet, straight into 
Soun's arms and sending them both crashing to the floor. 
	Time seemed to stop for Miss Hinako as she lay softly on Soun's 
chest, feeling every muscle in her body tense then relax as the feeling 
of closeness overwhelmed her.  There was something different she felt 
for Soun than for all the other people she knew.  It was only too bad 
that Soun had chosen to live in the past together with his deceased 
wife.  Miss Hinako regretted that the man she had chosen to love was 
just as dead to her as Kimiko was to the rest of the world.  Soun loved 
only his wife and his wife alone.  "If only he could move on... Just 
move on..." Miss Hinako placed her head on his chest, wishing that 
things were different.
	Time seemed to stop for Soun as he cradled Miss Hinako in his 
arms.  An overwhelming feeling of grief engulfed him as he remembered 
the last time he had held Kimiko so close.  It was a spring day very 
much like this one.  She had her head pressed softly against his chest.  
Soun could feel her heartbeat.  A small breeze blew through the window, 
and her hair waved softly in the wind, calling to him in soft whispers.  
Soun gazed lovingly into Kimiko's face, and her face dissolved into Miss 
Hinako's face as he held her so close, so softly.  "If only I could move 
on... Just move on..."  Soun held her close, wishing that things were 
different.
	Remembering the rest of the world, they both hurriedly stood up.  
"Sorry about that," they said at the same time, concentrating instead on 
the ball of fur at the center of the table and the one child that was 
the cause of all this.  Their hearts moved on to other less important 
matters.
	But now, they won't move on.  They stayed in each other's arms for 
a few minutes that seemed to have lasted a few days, enjoying every 
moment of the comfortable closeness.
	"Forgive me," Miss Hinako said, "I just couldn't..."
	"Don't be," Soun replied.  "Don't be sorry... All I need is time."
	"Promise me that this won't be the last time you hold me," she 
sighed.
	"I promise..."  They held together for a few more seconds, then 
they reluctantly let go.  Miss Hinako bid goodbye before it became too 
late for them to turn back.  The gate swung shut after that.
	Turning his head to the sky, Soun wept openly.  "Kimiko... 
please... a sign, that's all I need.  Tell me, tell me if... I 
should..."  His monologue was interrupted by the drifting of a feather, 
a true heavensend.

Chapter Eleven 
No more secrets

	The man and Junior walked through the twilight streets of Nerima, 
enjoying the early night breeze as it blew through the trees.  "Ah... I 
love days like this," the man sighed, taking in a large breath of air.  
"It's too bad days like this don't happen very often."
	"They happen once a year, dad," Junior replied, eyeing the squirt 
gun that saw lots and lots of action that day.  It was nearly empty, and 
they passed by a fountain in the park. 
	The man smiled.  "That was a good job you have done, son.  I 
couldn't have done it better myself."
	The kid reddened a bit.  "Thanks, dad," he said.  After a few 
minutes of resting, they went on their way again.
	"Still," the father mused, "those were strange tactics that you 
used, going along with them.  Couldn't you have just watched from the 
sidelines and struck from there?"
	The little boy answered.  "The links at this location were unclear 
at the start.  I had to go among them to find out what would be the best 
plan of attack.  It would have been very distressing if I made a 
mistake.  If I did, things would have gone from bad to worse."  He 
sighed, "at last peace has come to this part of the world."
	"But there are much more places around that would need our 
intervention."  The father mused, "It's a dirty job, but someone's got 
to do it.  After all, money doesn't turn the world, something much more 
powerful does."
	"So could I get that new SuperSoaker15000?"  the kid asked in a 
really cute way. 
	"Son, sometimes I wonder why you use that water pistol when an 
arrow has a lot more precision and could have done a similar job with a 
smaller amount of mess."  The man took out a magnificent bow made from 
the finest white wood.  A red arrow as thick as Junior's arms was 
loaded, and it flew through the air in a majestic arc.  In the distance, 
there was a loud shriek as the deadly projectile found its target, which 
was replaced by an even stranger sound.
	"Oh, Happy!"  "Oh, Cologne!"  <kiss, kiss>
	"Oh, father," Junior said in a soft tone, "I think that it's time 
for a bit of modernization.  After all, you don't go around wearing 
diapers anymore."
	The man placed the bow and the sack of arrows in a specialized 
version of Hammerspace.  "Good point, son," Cupid said, "good point."

{
 End prog.
}

Epilogue

	Hiroshi and Daisuke stared open mouthed into the computer screen.  
"You're right.  It is cheesy ending," Hiroshi said.  "You mean that the 
only way for the Ranma Universe to settle down is if Cupid chose to come 
by and nuked everyone there?" 
	Mayhem nodded, "Well... I told you that the solution was cheesy.  
And I didn't say that it was feasible."
	Daisuke continued, "Hey!  How come the title said 20 Less Lonely 
People.  I count a lot more than that."
	Mayhem answered.  "Well, Miss Hinako and Soun did not really end 
up together, just a promise to do so in the near future."  He rubbed his 
tummy.  "And, of course, you two aren't really included.  After all, 
you're the only people in the cast who have a more or less stable 
relationship at the start.  Don't you think that you're lucky?"
	Hiroshi said, "what about the others?  I mean, like Konatsu and 
Akari?"
	Daisuke echoed Hiroshi's sentiments.  "Yeah.  Us side characters 
have rights too, you know."
	Mayhem replied.  "'We side characters.'  And the program isn't 
perfect, I told you that from the start.  If you want, you can link the 
two up and not make much of a splash in the general equation."
	Daisuke slumped down on the swivel chair.  "I guess were stuck 
here," he said.  "Either way, people would get hurt, and we were looking 
for a chance to end the carnage without much bloodshed."
	Mayhem sat on his bed. "Well, there really is no way to end the 
entire series at the end of just one day.  Besides, the program is just 
an approximation."
	"Come again?"
	"Since the characters move chaotically, the story represents 
greatest percentage of what they would do.  In my opinion, Cupid would 
have just shot everyone without really bothering to create a large 
amount of angst in the process."
	Hiroshi and Daisuke stood up menacingly.  "You mean to tell us 
that things didn't have to be that angstful?"  Hiroshi said slowly. 
	"Yes!  According to popular culture, Cupid really just nuked 
everyone, and a direct hit would have been fatal.  Uh... What's going 
on?"
	There was a loud shimmering in the air as the rest of the Ranma 
cast came into Mayhem's room.  "I can't believe that we went through all 
that if there could have been a better way!"  Akane did that blue aura 
thing.
	Sayuri declared, "Manipulators like you don't deserve to write 
anything about us."
	Mio mysteriously said, "I don't see any future in your lifeline."
	Gosunkugi took out a few spleen bombs that he hadn't used for a 
long time.
	Shampoo said, "people like you go to very bad place."
	Yuka agreed.  "You could have done it in a better way?  Why all 
this drama?"
	Mayhem replied sheepishly.  "Well... That would have been a lot 
cheesier, wouldn't it."
	Kuno said, "How dare you use such a base and useless plot on a 
character as great and noble as I, Tatewaki Kuno!"
	Ranma began cracking his knuckles.  "For once, I agree with you.  
What say you guys, we do a grand finale?"
	The rest of the cast replied with a loud battle cry.  They 
menacingly approached Mayhem.
	"Uh... Guys..."  He backed into a corner.  "Uh... You don't really 
have to do this..."  He eeped.  "help..."

	A loud and bloodcurdling scream echoed throughout the Anime Web 
ring.
	"What was that?"  the mysterious keeper of the FFML asked. 
	The answer came as Mayhem's innards were e-mailed through the 
list.
	"That's the best ending I've ever seen!"  the critics unanimously 
declared.

THE END

@----------------------------------------------------------------------@
|Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!|
@----------------------------------------------------------------------@

=> Well, it didn't really end the way I wanted it to be.  Darn, I should 
have started doing this months ago.
=> Sorry for all those who have put up with the cheesy ending. 
=> Apologies to Rumiko Takahashi and all those who own the characters of 
Ranma 1/2.
=> Special apologies to the People at the Hill, the NFTZu, and all my 
friends who had to put up with my constant bickering these past few 
days. (I did the story in four.  Should have thought about it more.)

{
 "Any last words," the mob asked, as Mayhem was about to be tied above a 
sugar bomb.
 "Uh... Happy Valentine's Day, everyone?" "DIE!"
}