The New Zu Revue
01.06.2002 elf

"Speak!"

So, what's with the new look. The Zu has been in absentia for the past year and a half. We're not going to come up with some inane excuse like alien abductions or the Zu Keeper getting a girlfriend... The probability of an alien abduction looks more and more promising at this point.

Okay, where was I?

The Zu Page, last version count 4.2.2, will be hosting and posting other vigenettes other than our usual repertoire of fanfictions.If there is one thing that the Zu people do better than writing, it's complaining. Hence, the Rants page, spanning a wide range of topics from what a REAL RPG console game should be to an introspective ramblings of a self professed 'Magical Girl' lover.

Remind me to dedicate the next babe layout to Pervert. He says that Ryoko isn't hot enough for him anymore.

By the way, ever wondered where those reply e-mail of yours went? Switch is a cyber pack-rat. He is the Zu Keeper after all. He will be posting some interesting replies, MSTs, and C&Cs done for Zu authored fics. You feed our ego, we feed your ego. It's a give and take relationship.

Hehehe. How's that for advertising?

Interactive articles and guest columns will be posted on the Replies Page as well. How would you like to see your article in our brand new spiffy format?

Did I just mention that the internet thrives on advertising?

Anime, manga, albums and games reviews will be posted accordingly under their specific columns on the Reviews Page. It's there for you to give it a look-see to know which otaku goods on the market are worth your hard earned paycheck or lunch money.

Fanfic Archives - A collection of the gems of the Zu's productive output. Littered with classics and misfires, with bad grammar and poignant imagery, bundled by author and by genre, the archives are chockful of witticisms and the corny jokes that make the Zu unique, because 20-odd people put together on one page, writing at their own pace can't really look like anything else out there. Also, there's nothing really new there. Give it some time, then you'll have new old stuff to read.

Authors page, hmmm... how's this for a scenario:

"Hey! That's not supposed to happen! Who's the schmuck who wrote this anyway?" Here's a flamethrower... and go check the Authors page.

So, what else is there to say? What the heck are you still doing HERE?!

(Coming right at YOU!)

Switch on Switch
01.06.2002 Switch

Welcome to the Weather Report column!

What is Weather Report, and why is it a reply column? Well, here in the Philippines, one of our celebrated newscasters, who does the weather report for a top local station, also gives tidbits of trivia at the end of his report, and in a TV and radio program called "Knowledge Power". Occasionally, he would field calls from viewers or listeners to answer questions on the air.

In the spirit of the eternal quest for knowledge, the Nikholas F. Toledo Zu proudly hosts its own weather report, which will serve to host explanations for the rather odd phenomena and unusual objects that inhabit the anime, manga and game multiverses, brought from our fevered imaginations, to satisfy your hardnose thirst for the whys and the hows.

Why are we qualified to explain everything in all the often illogical and inconsistent universes in which our favorite animated and pixelated characters interact and inhabit? Actually, we aren't. We're not experts or anything. It's just that we like thinking up the silliest, the strangest, but the unstintingly possible reasons for things to be. We like doing this. In fact, we've been doing this for a while now.

While we might not give you what would be considered canonical for the anime/manga/game, we will try to provide explanations that will be consistent with canon. At least, we will provide reasons that may be entirely apocryphal, but at least will be entertaining.

Case in point: my Ranma fanfic named Switch.

While it wasn't meant to be written to explain the mysteries of Rumiko Takahashi late-80's-to-early-90's magical realism tour de force, but having to feel for the setting, several questions had to be answered. This was shared by Mayhem in the writing of his Memories.

One of the first things that I had put forth in the story was an explanation for why, in the duration of the manga and the anime, we have several Christmases and winters and summers pass by, while our Furinkan High students seem to be stuck in their year levels. While Ranma's academic intelligence may be in question, it's fairly certain that Akane, and especially Nabiki, would easily advance to the next year level.

The explanation: Nerima, the roughly rectangular ward of Tokyo in which the action of the series takes place, undergoes a highly unusual acceleration of climate, enough so that the seasons of a year will pass by around 4 to 5 times each year there.

While this may be a very very high-tension stretch of imagination, there is a precedent. The story further explains that, in China, there is a stretch of land 1000 miles by 1 mile, whose climate is diametrically opposite to the climate of surrounding land. When it is summer in the area, it is winter in the strip, and vice versa. I didn't make up this part, though I can't tell from which volume of the Book of Lists this phenomenon is recorded.

In addition to explaining why winter seems to arrive every so often, it also explains why the principal is so often out of the scene.

From there, so little of the story actually answers these questions straightforward, but here are some examples of the answers to some of the conundrums Takahashi left around in the series:

• Ever wondered why, in the Kodachi storyarc, Ryoga seems to handily and fortuitously appear to teach Ranma and Akane some Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics? Isn't it entirely possible that Ryoga is actually a practitioner of Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics?
 
 
• From that arc as well, isn't it strange that Akane was never into gymnastics, and yet, they are able to provide two leotards? And one that can fit Ranma well, considering that Akane isn't as well-endowed as Ranma's female form? In Switch, and as well as another fanfic series called Age Don't Matter, Kasumi is shown to have practiced gymnastics when she was in high school. (In ADM, though, she is seen to practice Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics.)
 
 
• How about Kodachi and Mousse? In the anime, when Kodachi meets Ranma, she pulls out nearly an entire make-up kit from within the chest area of her apparently skin tight leotard. Either she's fairly disappointing without her gymnastics outfit, or she has some form of hidden weapons skill.
 
 
• Why is it that the Dragon Hair caused Ranma to grow his hair long, yet not grow his mustache long, or a beard? The answer would be slightly telling, actually.
 
 
• The secret Saotome free-food-will-come is actually a reference to another Ranma fanfic, Vector's only, Time and Time Again.
 
 
• How come Ryoga can always appear, from his P-chan form, to a fully regularly-clothed Ryoga? Maybe he keeps clothes hidden throughout the Tendo household - just in case.
 
 
• How could people not think that P-chan is Ryoga when he wears a bandanna distinctly identifiable to Ryoga? Maybe those in the know suspect that Akane holds a small candle flame for our favorite lost boy.
 
 
• And, my personal favorite, how exactly did the situation between Ukyo and Tsubasa happen to happen? Ukyo knows that Tsubasa is a boy, because she was at an all-boys school, but did not know that Tsubasa knew that she was a girl. And why was he cross-dressing? And why was he super-strong? (Well, strong enough to be comparable with the others.) I dedicated an entire sidestory, Park Life, to writing out how they met, and accidentally giving them more of a history than I originally planned.

These and many more questions, not just about Ranma, or any of our fanfics, but just about any of the mind-scratching, nonsensical, deeply disturbing and inane things you may just want to ask me, or any of my Zu friends, about. Why? Because we're here for nothing but service, service!

BTW, I hear that GAINAXING is now a term used to describe the bounce of a fairly busty woman's chest.

Keep raining!