--- She was trapped by those blue eyes. Beautiful blue Hitomi, sad and alone. She saw him sitting on a park bench, and it was noon and his eyes looked like shiny electric prisons she might willingly have been lost in for hours. There was something in them that was wild and out there, a little bit of the animal and still something more that was not. He was older though, maybe five years older, maybe ten years or more. And she did not know, could not know, decided that she did not care to know, just why she chose to sit next to him. And she noticed that he was not quite so large as he had first seemed. He was very tall, and his shoulders were indeed broad, but there was no excess bulk in his musculature and there was a distinct leanness to his shape. That confused her, for at first, looking at him from a distance, he had seemed to her like a giant with the massive build of a titan. It was in the way he carried himself, shoulders squared, back ramrod straight, arms somehow heavier in their stillness. He was dressed all in black, black combat boots, black jeans, a plain black T-shirt, a black leather jacket over that, and black half- gloves that left his fingers and knuckles bare. Long, shiny bangs slid back and forth across his forehead, a black curtain that sometimes covered his eyes. Looking at her nervous fingers, clenched on her bare knees, she wondered why she was being so foolish, and realized that when she looked away, trying to picture his face in her mind, it was all smudged lines and blurred shadow. All that had struck her were the eyes, eyes sadder than sad, and older than old, and wise like deep night sky. And she blushed fiercely, wondering why she thought of him so, muttering softly to herself, "pfeh! Deep night sky." Memories of a bad poetry seminar one summer were briefly contemplated and discarded for the immediacy of the now. But, oh, those eyes were lovely, eyes that changed depending upon how one looked at them, she guessed that they were probably icy and cold in the morning, lustrous and metallic at noon, warm and soft at sunset and the deepest darkest velvet at night. The man had not moved at all, not at all - in the silence of the almost empty park, she could tell that his breathing had not even changed, still slow and relaxed and even. "Shouldn't talk to strangers, you know." His voice made her check to see if the hem of her skirt had ridden up her thighs, but they had not, so she felt silly as she tugged it down for no reason other than that the sound of him made her feel so warm. She was scared, so she looked at him, and again those arresting blue eyes made her think of things that puzzled her. She licked her lips. "You looked lonely," Hitomi said to the familiar stranger, "a small blue thing." That was not quite the truth, but the truth was even more frightening than this strange attraction. Surprising then how her mouth slipped somehow and she found herself adding, despite herself, "I had a dream last night that you would be here..." She bit off the last word, suddenly horribly embarrassed, afraid that he would laugh. He just smiled this little, tiny smile at her and then she could see the rest of him, and not just those incredible, incredible eyes. The aquiline lines of his face, ruggedly handsome, the skin deeply tanned. "So here I am." He spread his arms with his palms facing up, head inclined, as if offering himself and afraid that his offering would be refused. The words made her gasp, the gesture made her feel feverish. He had said and done that in the dream, too. And she noticed that he was so... beautiful, she could think of no other word that described him, that he would have been terrifying if she did not at the same time feel this terrible need that had to do with him. "My name's Hitomi. Ah, I go to a high school close by." He extended a hand towards her, and she was surprised when she noticed that hand trembling. Nervousness seemed so out of character for this... stranger who was so, so familiar. "I used to go to that high school myself." He chuckled when they shook hands, at the feel of her hand in his, also rough and hard and callused, a martial artist's hand for sure. His voice was shivery when he said, "My name's Ranma. Have you been waiting long, Hitomi?" She whispered to him as sensations she could not explain welled up inside her: "I've been waiting all my life." Her tears flowed and flowed, and she wondered if they would ever stop. And he held her and nothing in the world mattered anymore, except for his holding her. --- The NFT Zu presents 'blue kiss' the sequel to 'Winner' by Rain Man foreword: I predict that a significant fraction of those of you who enjoyed Winner may be a little put out with this sequel. Can't be helped! It's a different kind of story, it's true, but I hope that some of you will still enjoy this, and be taken up a little, maybe, by the fate of Ranma and the gang. BTW, the verses are from T.S. Eliot's Wasteland. And this will make absolutely no sense for those of have you who have not read Winner, by the way, so read that on the Zu page if you haven't already. --- In the years since he had found the True Path of Fists, he had come across philosophers and monks, witches and fortune-tellers of all kinds. He had visited the dragon lord Herb, the growing child god-king Saffron, and the ancient village of the Joketsuzoku. There were Tibetan wise men and Hindu ascetics, and powerful beings who might once have been gods and goddesses, and twice he met an odd little group of immortals and once an Endless one. And he remembered the discussions, every one of them, about whether or not there was such a thing as "Free Will." If there was destiny, or pre-destiny, or whether an awareness of a future that might have locked the path in that direction. They often laughed at how he took it all so seriously, and when they did, he would just grace them with a rare, beautiful smile (though always a sorrowful smile). He had grown long past puzzles, long past curses and engagements and honor. And suffering. "I wanted to know," Ranma had asked the Endless one, "why my father did what he did." The pale man had fingered the heavy emerald hanging from his neck, and murmured, "You would do better to ask my older sister that." Their voices echoed in the massive obsidian hall, at the very heart of and yet so very far away from the Dreaming. "But you met my father. Several times. You know him if anyone does." The pale man shook his head. "The events you speak of are dim in my thoughts. I remember them, but what understanding that part of me that knew him might have had, was lost when I became what you see before you." "Then this journey was pointless." "Was it, Ranma?" The pale man rose to his feet. "Was it?" Ranma was surprised when he saw that he was taller than the Endless one. And realized just how young the pale man actually was. He sighed. "No, it was not. My thanks for your hospitality." The Endless inclined his head. "You are always welcome here, Morning Child. We are much alike, you and I. Both our fathers made mistakes. Ranma, will you not let go?" Ranma closed his eyes. "He promised me, thirty years ago. He promised. And then I lost... lost everyone that truly mattered to me." Thirty years ago when he mastered the True Path of Fists. He had been so sure that it would be so simple, so easy... --- "Ranma, you wound your father's heart," said the stocky old man, spectacles glinting from the fluorescent lights overhead. Ranma shrugged. "I spoke with Mother about it. She did not like it either, but she understood." "Honor dictates that the Tendo engagement takes precedence!" "You have a pretty selective memory when you talk about honor, Dad." It felt so strange calling this stranger that. Ranma knew almost nothing about him, about growing up under this man's tutelage, only about the actions and events that had such consequences on their lives today. "Ranma, you are marrying Akane and that is final!" Mr. Tendo exclaimed. "You must choose Akane!" The young man shrugged again, looking out at the pond. The others about them at the dining room table stared openly, except for Akane, who was up in her room, waiting. He closed his ears to the shouting from the two middle-aged men, let the dissonant sounds wash over him, slide by ineffectually. Their anger did not touch him, and outside in the yard, he saw a moth catch fire from a hot spark, dying as it fluttered to the ground. Such a pleasant day it had been; why, he wondered, did it have to end with this? As he ignored them for a time, he recalled how, earlier that day, Akane had arched her brow, scowling. "You cooked," she said to him. Ranma sighed as he brought out some plates and laid them out on the sheet. "Kasumi and Nabiki said we would be less likely to fight if I just prepared the picnic food and headed off any arguments about it. I don't know; maybe it was a mistake." He ran his fingers through the short, bristly area of his hair at the margin of his neck and head. "I don't remember what your cooking is like." "Well..." she mumbled. "Perhaps it could use some improvement." "Oh, yeah. Here." His hands moved then, with that awesome speed characteristic of him. Akane blinked. "For me?" "Don't you like flowers?" "I hate flowers!" She frowned fiercely, thinking about Tatewaki and Kodachi, and the irritation and complications that always came with a gift of blossoms. Then she saw that look in his eyes, the look that was a part of the new him, the part of him she had glimpsed just that morning, defying the wrath of the storm. Power, but more than that, a certain - what was it? Acceptance? Yes, Akane thought - it was acceptance. Not resignation, but a determination to deal with anything, a look that saw and analyzed but that did not judge. And behind the veil of strength and understanding, she saw in his eyes the same vulnerability that, when she was too tired to fight off the strange new feelings, made her feel sorry, made her remember, made her want to comfort the raw hurting she glimpsed inside. Akane glanced down at the little yellow daffodils, nothing fancy, but... when she took them from his hand, their fingers touched briefly, and her heart beat faster. In a tiny voice she was unaccustomed to using, Akane said, "Okay, I like flowers." Nervous fingers pushed one into her hair, and she hoped that she did not look silly, blushing so, blushing down to her neck and a little past that, down to the curve descending between her breasts, concealed by the modest, sleeveless blue sundress she wore. The uncertainty cleared from Ranma's eyes, and he smiled with that smile of his that warmed her everywhere. He handed her a little box of fried chicken after extracting a leg for himself, and lay back on the grass, chewing slowly. Again, he had handed her something, and their fingers had touched again for a tiny electric moment. She dug into the chicken too, eating just as slowly and carefully as he did. Akane tried smiling at him, and then his eyes seemed to sparkle as they slowly consumed their lunch. She could look into his eyes no longer, and blushed. "It's good," she said, licking her fingers before wiping them on a napkin he had offered. He let out a long breath. "You're frowning again." "I just," her throat felt as though it were closing on itself, "wish you weren't so much better at everything, 'sall." "Ah," he said. "And 'course, I keep on 'xpecting you to rub it in like you used to." Ranma had to sigh at that one. "Well, I won't anymore. And you're better in school, right? I'm not better at everything!" Then he noticed her looking at the charred remains of the tree by the koi pond, and read her lips as she mouthed, "just better at everything that matters to me." He handed her a drink withdrawn from the big wicker basket, and absent-mindedly, she took it. The condensation on the outside of the can of Pocari Sweat slid onto her fingers, cooled the heat on them before Akane took a long draught of the chilled beverage. She put the can aside and looked at him. He looked back at her. Eventually, he touched her shoulder, and she had to remember not to jump back, or hit him or shout. Or kiss him, which is what she really, really wanted to do. "If you want it badly enough, if you want it with every part of you, inside and out, if you want it enough so that you can put up with the pain on the way, well," he stopped and bit his lip. Akane was still holding her breath, these little touches just made it all feel so much more - intense! So much like, well, like it had been on the now forgotten, may-as-well-have-never-been-Thursday. "If I want it that much?" she said. Reluctantly, he continued, "Even if you do, you may never reach the Path." She blinked back sudden frustration, sudden tears. It was worse that he was still touching her, so kind and gentle. Before, she could have dismissed it as one of Ranma's usual taunts, but she was gradually learning that he did not lie, not about things like this. That this Ranma could be brutally honest. Her voice grew rough. "Oh. Gee. Guess that means I'm not gonna be picked, huh?" Her fists clutched at the cloth of her skirt. Trembling. "Who would want a clumsy tomboy like me anyw-" She tried to be angry, but it was getting to be so hard, so tiring to be so angry... His arms were around her and she felt so bad and yet this felt so right that the backwash of emotions was just driving her crazy, so she shut up and held him back. "I didn't mean that you don't have skill. I didn't mean that you're clumsy." She was crying softly, and he rocked her back and forth. "It's just that. Akane, to get skill like that - it would change you." He paused, trembling when she slid her cheek back and forth against his. "So?" "... Don't you like being yourself?" She let the contact soothe her, to try to regain control of herself. "Would you really throw away the life you have here, to be that good at fighting?" "I don't know," she murmured, distracted by his freshly-bathed scent, by the slow pulsing of the blood in his neck that she could feel against her cheek. His skin there was so soft. Elsewhere, his body was hard, toughened and battered and scarred. If he had been able to read her mind then, he would have seen how she was thinking of some of health articles in a magazine she had read; about the effects of extreme stress on human joints: osteoarthritis, the painful loss of cartilage worn completely away by friction, the development of bony spurs around the joints, sometimes fusing them completely immobile. She thought about the incredible strain Ranma's elbows and shoulders must go through each time he used the roasting chestnuts technique. And thought about the pain Ranma would be in later in life if he pushed himself and used that technique over and over... as he already did. She remembered the day her father had started to ease back in training her, remembered wondering what it was that caused him to wince when he moved his arms a certain way. Akane knew now, that her father lived in constant pain everyday, that it took him great willpower and focus to still move like an athlete. That there was a reason why his movements were stiffer, slower, without the same power she remembered him having when she was a child. The magazine mentioned the phenomenon of eburnation, the polishing effect on the ends of the bones because the bone becomes worn down by continued use after the cartilage is gone. She knew that if she kept up even her current level of martial arts training, she would experience the same phenomenon by the time she reached her mid-thirties. Confidentially, she had asked Doctor Tofu about it once. "At the rate of escalation in the intensity of Ranma's Art," he said carefully, slowly, "I would guess that he will start feeling the pain in his joints by the time he is twenty-three years old. Maybe sooner. I've discussed this with him, you know - he knows. But you can't get him to slack off or give it up, Akane, you know that as well. And in his short prime, who knows what he can accomplish, what heights he can reach? At least, that is what he believes in, and I can understand his desires." What would she give up for the Art? How much would she want to suffer? She did not know how long she sat there, lost in thought before Ranma prompted her, "Have you thought about it, Akane? About what it would be like? The things you would have to go through? The things..." But he stopped himself before he said: the things I went through? Would she tear herself up like Ranma did for his Art? Like her father and his father, too... "Does it really have to be like that?" "Depends." "On?" "How far you want to go." "If... I wanted to fight as well as Shampoo and Ukyo?" He closed his eyes. "I don't remember how well they fight." "Oh. That's right... sorry." "Doesn't matter. Akane, the Art is not about being able to take on everyone and win. Being the best is not everything." She pulled back, startled. "Doesn't sound like something I'd say, right? Bet the old me'd never say that, ever. I get glimpses of my old self now and then." Akane nodded. She sniffled a little, and when he put his arms about her again, she did not fight it, she let herself rest against him. She hated to admit how comforting this felt, especially now that he just seemed so much... larger. In her head, she knew that it was because of his chi, that his body was the same as it had been just yesterday; but to her eyes, and to the touch, Ranma was now a very large man... who seemed to be capable of enfolding her in this soothing glow that was just him. "Akane, the best you can be is to be true to yourself. What do you really want to do? What is your calling in life? What tastes, colors, sounds do you like or dislike? That's who you are. The Art may not just be fighting, but the Art does not always have to be life. For me, well, I never had a choice - it's all I've ever known." Akane stopped shaking, finally, and eased out of his embrace. "I don't know," she mumbled, "that anything you just said makes me feel better." It was his holding her, she thought, that did make her feel better, but she was doing her best to ignore that. If Nabiki knew what was good for her, Akane decided, she had better not try to sell anything about what just happened. "It isn't about who the best person is, Akane..." 'Oh, yes it is,' she wanted to yell at him, 'it's about who the best person is for you!' Instead, she let herself smile tentatively when he offered her a cupcake, and took that, again letting the contact linger just so. She finished it quickly, to distract herself from his face for just a moment. She wondered if he could ever have been this easygoing with her, before the fight with. Before the fight that changed everything. And she blinked, staring at him. He was looking at her - he was looking at her just like... No, she refused to think it, it was probably just another result of this new level of the Art he had reached. A warm breeze ruffled his hair, and he gifted her with a warm, soft smile. Just maybe, she wondered, these changes Ranma had gone through were not so bad. After the picnic, well, there had been homework to worry about. Homework, and Ranma had taken off, probably to talk to the others. Akane wondered if they were happier because of his lost memories. Wondered what they would think when he told them what was going to happen over the next week. The geometry assignment was simple really, just on the long side. It needed some rather circuitous reasoning to prove, but she could have finished it quickly, if she wanted. Stubborn, though. She stared at it for a whole hour, with the equation at the top of the table, a list of axioms and theorems she could use on the left-hand side, and a blank sheet of paper and a pencil on the right. She let it take up the rest of the afternoon; it was an excuse to avoid Nabiki, who had surely seen or would surely find out how Ranma was acting with her as well as with the other fiancées. She had been quite grateful for Kasumi's almost telepathic understanding; she had brought dinner to Akane so that the youngest Tendo daughter would not have to be there when Ranma told their respective fathers about what he would do. "Stupid family honor," she muttered, pushing the pencil idly, scratching little curlicues and dandelion designs along the edge of the paper. Pausing when she heard the shouting begin downstairs, she rested her forehead against her forearms on the table, and thought about what it would be like if she - well, she had to admit it was possible - if she lost. It was true, what he said, this was not a battle between her and Shampoo and Ukyo anymore - this was just him taking control of his life, and fixing it so that they could all move on, past the static, painful cycle that had perpetuated itself since he had brought the chaos herewith him. He wanted to stop hurting them. At least, that is what she tried to believe. She thought about his words at the end of their picnic together: "The way things are is cruel. To all of you. Not fair at all, 'm really sorry." And he was. "I won't regret knowing you, Ranma," Akane whispered into the shadows between her arms. "I won't regret... falling for you. Even if I lose..." And she realized, she was looking forward to Ranma's choice; whatever happened. Even if she lost, she would live on, sure, she would be hurt, but she would move on, grow stronger and life would - well. Life would be whatever she could make of it! It was time to grow up; things could not go on the way they had anymore. They were becoming adults. Akane wondered if this feeling of moving on - this half-excited, half-sad, anxiousness - was how Ranma felt about the situation, too. She thought about living the Art as Ranma did, thought about his words and the sheer perfection of what she had seen him reach. Thought about what it would be like to live as Ranma had, to be Ranma himself. "I don't have to be the best at martial arts..." she whispered to herself. "I'm Akane Tendo - I go to high school. I'm going to college. I'm going to be a teacher." That future did not seem so terribly mediocre after all, with or without Ranma. "Not a martial arts instructor... a school teacher." That which she really wanted; to make a real difference in people's lives instead of being an instructor of what was a mere hobby to most of the world. Yes, that did not seem so bad at all. At some point as she had been repeating that to herself, the gentlest arms encircled her, and she turned to accept what comfort Kasumi had to give. "It will work out, Akane, you'll see," Kasumi said, stroking her little sister's back softly. They could hear fighting break out downstairs, heard it stop just as quickly as it had begun. "Yes," Akane said, "it will..." And she believed that with all her heart. --- "And Akane agreed with this?" Ukyo murmured. He shrugged. "Don't you find it ridiculous? The way things are with me?" He had been helping her around the restaurant. Cleaning dishes and utensils, cleaning the countertops and tables, bringing orders to the customers and taking them from others. Taking out the trash from the scraps of customers' leftovers. During the peak hours that evening, the work was fast and it surprised him how many people walked in and out of those doors. When he had offered to help her with the restaurant today, she had been surprised, but grateful. Konatsu had taken off on some ninja business for the week and Ukyo had forgotten how much trouble it was to run the restaurant by herself. A little nervous with him at first, and the other way around as well, they had settled into a fairly efficient routine by the time the last rush had begun. They spoke between the moments, during the lulls here and there. "I don't want to hurt any of you." Her face was a mask when she said, "Ranma... do I have a chance in this, really? Or are you trying to, to be kind..." His smile faded, and he would have responded, but another group of customers came in, loud and hungry, and when he glanced back at her, she had on her game face, the cheery smile she had for all of them. "Oh, yes, Mr. Yoshida - got your usual coming right up!" It was almost enough for her to forget about Ranma, this satisfaction with her business. But a couple of her regulars noticed, noticed the handsome young man helping her with the restaurant today, and their answering smiles to her, she was unsure if they made her feel better or worse. She blushed and smiled her inscrutable smile and had Ranma bring them their orders. Of course, at a certain point, Ranma had gotten some cold water onto himself. He, then a she, barely noticed the change - there was too much to do, despite the occasional pat on the buttocks, which she simply ignored. There was too much to do to let that get to her, and in a way, she almost expected it. She did not want to make trouble in Ukyo's restaurant; the customer is always right. Ukyo gave her a queer look at that, but continued dealing with people's orders. The late afternoon crowd had swelled, thinned and was gone. "I didn't think you'd handle it that well." "Hmm?" "The groping." Once more, the countertops had to be wiped, the plates had to be washed and dried, utensils, knives, cutting boards. The trash had to be brought out, the floor mopped. Ranma shrugged. "It didn't happen much. And it didn't mean anything." "None of my regulars would do that. Sorry, Ranma." The redhead waved it off, stacks of dishes balanced on head, shoulder and palm. "I like helping you out. Too busy to worry much." Ranma proceeded to dry them, a spectacular blur of flashing cloth and flying ceramics. She set them down neatly and smiled at Ukyo when she brought her a glass of warm, steaming water. Ranma poured and then red hair darkened and before the rivulets of water reached the collar of the plain white shirt, he was taller than her again. "And I like how the place smells." "Let me," Ukyo said, blushing again as she wiped at the moisture on his neck, at his shoulders and back, with a thick white towel. "How does the place smell?" He stood still for it, and sighed just a little when her arms closed around him. "Smells like you." She laughed softly. "You didn't have to ask that question, you know," Ranma told her. "I... I suppose not." "I wish I knew just how I felt," he said quietly. She hid herself against his chest, tried to sink against him and press herself into the muscle over his ribs and sternum and make herself a part of him. Pressed her ear against the place over his heart, listened to it beating. "I won't push anymore," she said. "I'll try not to rush you." He rested his hand atop her head, caressed her temple with slow sliding touches of his thumb. "I have to make a choice. It shouldn't have to be this way for any of you." Ukyo shook just a little. "I'll wait, okay? Take your time." "Ukyo, I'm sorry." "Shh. You're not so bad, really." She wondered though, if the way things were was all that terrible. Just maybe... but no, it couldn't be so easy, could it? And she wanted to cry, but was used to winning the fight against that. If only, she thought, if only she was sure of winning him. If only it was the way it used to be... But oh, she would not give this moment up for anything, and she kissed the spot between under his jaw, next to his left ear, and sighed when he pulled her tighter against him. "Thank you for coming by and helping me out today." His voice was thick, soft against her: "I'm so sorry..." Her heart went out to him, beyond her control. And the changes in him just did not matter any more. "Isn't your fault. Don't... don't cry, Ranma. Please." --- He blinked, thought again about how it was that such a pleasant day could end like this. It had all slid downhill after he returned from Ucchan's and they had asked him, "Where did you spend this afternoon?" "Stop it!" It was his mother's voice. He realized that he thought of her that way, he did think of her as his mother. The heavyset older man was struggling to his feet, visibly outraged. Mouth opening to curse and shout. "Not a word out of you," his mother said to Genma, and he slammed his jaw shut. It had been easy, too easy. He felt it now, constantly, the way he breathed the chi and out of himself, the way it slid through and around everyone. The angles, the weaknesses of the painful lock Mr. Tendo had him came to Ranma's mind easily, and it was not half an instinct's moment before he freed himself, just by hooking his feet and twisting. Then Genma... then his father had launched a fast, all-out attack, with all of his considerable strength and skill behind it. Fast, but in the other- ness of Ranma's new senses, far, far too slow. Ranma saw him. Saw all there was to see, in the flowing movements and patterns. One blow, and his father was down. Surprised where he found himself, face buried in a plate of leftovers, glasses smeared and cracked. Genma had been angry. Angrier than he realized he had ever been. So he had used the forbidden martial arts forms he had devised - the Yamasen-ken and Umisen-ken. By that time, Mr. Tendo had realized how serious this fight was, and backed away. A part of Ranma remembered what that stance represented, a part that snapped and slammed his father down, with speed and power and utter ease. A vicious and painful blow with the edge of his hand against Genma's ribs. Just short of breaking them. "You don't want to find out how far I'll go for this... Dad." The last word had been tacked on as an afterthought. Genma had only grown angrier. Insulted by the casual manner in which he was being fought. Ranma had still been standing at ease, hands lowered to his sides, feet side by side, a slight slouch curving his back. It was very simple to Ranma. He had measured the fullness of skill in his opponent and it was lacking. And that was when his mother stopped them. Ranma did not stay to listen to the argument, could not bring himself to listen. So he left. Who could stop him? He was only on the roof for a few minutes before the mushroom silhouette formed by Akane's short hair and her neck appeared over the edge of the rooftop and the rest of her followed, clambering nervously onto the shingles. The breeze caused the loose cloth of her pajamas to flap against her limbs. "Sorry." She lay down beside him and they watched the stars overhead for along time. Silently. "I should've been there to help you out with them," she whispered. "Just didn't want to have to deal with them yet, y'know. I should've - " Rough fingers touched her forearm, slid from elbow to her wrist. Reassurance. Caring. Love? "You couldn't have done much. Anyway, it won't be for much longer." "Thanks," Akane mumbled to him, "for understanding, I mean." She closed her eyes and focused on listening to the sounds of the night, crickets and other things and soft rustling leaves. Instead of the continuing argument below them. "So. Another day's over. Is it really just five more days?" Ranma said nothing, just looked at her and maintained the gentle touches he slid along her right arm. "Ranma..." She wanted to force him, wanted to convince him somehow to tell her how he felt about all of them already, to threaten him, to do anything it would take. Oh, how she wanted. She pressed her lips together tightly, and thought about the soft way they were touching. "This guy scares me, Ranma." That was true and not quite true, she knew. That was not how she felt in her dreams, and not what she remembered that last moment after he had deposited Ranma's limp form in front of Akane, and smiled at her. His fingers stiffened and she clutched at them with her hands to keep the contact going. "I beat him before. I can do it again." "Ranma, why is he doing this? Who is he?" The night sky had been so clear just moments before, but heavy clouds in the distance were moving in from the horizon. "I have some guesses," he said, slowly. "But it'll have to wait until I talk to him again." "You're shivering," Akane said. Ranma sat up slowly, and his profile against the darkness seemed to shine for an instant. He pulled her to a sitting position and rested his forehead against her shoulder. Still shivering. "Akane, I have dreams about him. About what it could mean." Something kept her from telling him about her own dreams. About how the dark man dressed in white was there too, waiting for. Something. Watching, smiling, friendly but frightening. Oh yes, he was scary - but there was in him the hint of anything being possible. And the warmth, the knowing acceptance in his clear gaze, as though he knew everything there was to know about her, and - no she did not know, did not want to know what that made her feel. It was too complicated. And so their dreams stayed secrets. "Genma?" the dark giant had laughed in Ranma's head. "That fat fool! He made a bargain with me a long time ago," he said to Ranma, smiling. "Would you like to know what it was?" He could not respond in the dream, wracked and chained by sudden doubt. "Oh, Ranma, Ranma," he chuckled. "Have I not given you enough hints?" It was the black room again, the empty place with a hot light high overhead, burning down on Ranma where he sat, a tiny steel chair. Yes, he was afraid again, only not of falling, but of what the stranger had to say to him. He knew himself well enough for that. He had learned it quickly enough; one could only fear the fall so many times. And yes, it had helped him the one time Akane had woken him from it the week before. He knew that, this time, Akane would not be able to rescue him. The stranger laughed again, stepping out of the darkness when Ranma pressed him to speak clearly, to cease the evasions, "Oh, Ranma!" But he stopped when he saw the anger in Ranma's tense shoulders, and his wise old face twisted, frowned, relaxed into a sad, ironic smile. "You want the truth, do you?" "Look in the mirror, Ranma." --- There was a nightclub, in a place best reached by stepping through the looking-glass at the fringes of dreams. At the intersection of every city, the point where the seedy began and the high class still came. It was dim inside, cozy somehow. But looking into the shadows fooled the eyes, and Ranma knew just how much larger it was than it seemed. Dressed all in black, Ranma blended in well, standing out only in the manner he stood and in the size he projected by the set of his powerful shoulders. It had taken him ten years to find this place. Years of looking through books and learning dead languages and learning and learning and learning more than he had ever thought possible. Cologne had been of great assistance of course. She had provided a start, the beginnings of knowledge in the storehouse of ancient scrolls hidden in the caves beneath her village. "Vengeance, of course. It's enough of a cause for this old woman to help you, Ranma." And still he only looked like a young man in his early twenties. "Just vengeance. That is all my people ask of you, now," she said to him. It was true, he saw it in her eyes. The fire, the life in them was gone, only partially brightened by the anger smoldering quietly under the sorrow. An anger nursed and cultivated so that it could never fade. Ranma saw his reflection, distorted by the curves of the shot-glass set before him, tinged amber by the liquor contained within. The surface of the bar contained intricate, swirling patterns of white spiraling through the darker background of the black marble top, and he recognized from his studies that the designs were fractally generated, that there was an endless pattern of repetition in that distorted, ordered chaos. It was beautiful, and like the club itself, disturbing at a very fundamental level to the human psyche. Only it did not disturb him, and he knew that he was not merely human. He was tempted by the thought of crushing the glass, of turning on everything, everyone in that strange place and destroying it all. It was so easy to destroy! Patience, he reminded himself. Besides, it would have been a waste as gestures went - the nightclub was practically empty. And he knew that it was not wise to anger the likes of the creature who manned his duties behind the bar. He drank the bitter liquid down, the taste of frustration and helplessness and fear sliding smoothly past his tongue. Light reflected into his eyes off of the lavish gold handles on the double doors as they opened. And a woman walked in, tall as he was, statuesque and barely covered by a gauzy red gown slit high along her legs up to her waist and not much material to speak of over her thrusting, opulent breasts. A white half-mask completely covered one side of her face, a face that smiled at him. She sauntered over to Ranma, hips swaying with each step in time with the music he had only then realized was playing. Hers was the sultry look that time itself slowed down for and reality bent around. There was a jukebox in the corner; it was not there when he had walked in moments before. "Lucien," Ranma called to the tall giant behind the bar, "your best red wine for the lovely demon, please." The demon laughed, a hideous, raking rasp. Those pendulous breasts shook beneath the thin cloth over her heaving chest and then she sat next to him, smiling as though it pained her. "ArE yOU alWayS sO poLiTE to thOSe yOu HatE, mOrNIng ChilD?" she said, words distorted by the non-human half of her jaw and lips, concealed by the white ivory covering. "I don't hate you." "aH, yOU HaVe leArnED to LIE! YoUR FatHEr wOuLD bE pROuD!" His knuckles were white as his hands tightened against the edge of the bar. "You worked for him. For a long time." She laughed again, and it was shameful but she was beautiful, stirringly so, despite his knowledge of what she really was. "FOr aS loNg aS I cAn remEMBeR." Ranma looked into her one human eye, startled by what he saw in it. "You love him!" he marveled. "But you were just a slave!" The demon drank her wine, licked her pouting crimson lips. "I miSs hIM so." And despite himself, Ranma understood that. "Tell me where to find him, demon." He drew into himself the focus and concentration that he had practiced ever since he lost his innocence, and power roared behind his eyes, made the shadows he cast darker than night. Magic, he had learned, was mostly like the tricks of chi attacks - flashy and draining, with the effects more easily accomplished through other means. The Way, the True Path of Fists was everything now: the ultimate technique of converting will into possibility, possibility into probability, probability into reality. He could see the demon's death in the span of a heartbeat, sunder its defenses and break its form in body as well as in dreams. The darkness around her rose defensively, protectively in response. "Don't cross me," he said to her. And she laughed again, genuinely surprised. "mY liFe IS yOuRS, mORniNG cHIld. I kNOw nO mORe tHAn yoU." She showed him her empty palms. "You know that I could kill you. It would not take a second." The demon sighed. "I kNOww." She looked away for a moment, and the air of sadness about her touched him once more. She whispered things into her hand, made skittering, spidery sounds, syllables not meant for human tongues, and drew forth from shadows a book bound in cloth made from the night with words written on paper drawn up from moonlight. Her fingers trembled when she offered the book to him. Ranma ignored the black tear winding its way down her cheek, ignored the bitter cold against his skin when he took hold of the book. "dO nOT kiLl hiM. pleASe." The demon bit her lip, put her face in her hands. "iF yoU dO, yOu WOulD owN mE juST as hE DiD. i wiSsH he dId noT Go. i WIsH yoU WOulD noT gO." He looked at the glass between them and said, "You barely touched your drink." And she moaned, "I lOVe hIm. I cOuLD lOVe yOu, toO... sO beAuTIfUL, just liKE hiM..." He knew that it hurt her that he was so cold to her tears, that his appearance must move something deep within her slave's mind. "iT iss a TeRRiBLE thInG tO loVe..." "Yes, it is." He shook his head and stood to walk out of the Dream, ignoring the ache in his heart and the hunger of his loins. Those emotions were not his, Ranma told himself; they belonged to Him. But, yes, he admitted to himself, it is a terrible thing to love. He should have done something, he should have saved them! If only, he cursed, if only they had told him about their dreams! --- "Welcome, Shampoo," said the stranger dressed all in white. Huge and imposing - and with a smile that was terribly beautiful. It was easy to recognize him from Akane's and Ranma's descriptions, easy to remember her great-grandmother's warnings to stay away from the creature if she ever saw it. Saw him, that is. It was impossible to attack, impossible for her to strike him then, even with him standing still, right before her. Not when his air, not when everything about him made her think of people she loved, of her mother, her dead father... yes, he reminded her of Ranma too. And she hated that. Hated him for it - she needed to, because this was the enemy that had hurt her beloved, standing here on the ancient stone tiles before a temple that was empty, abandoned, falling to pieces. But it was so hard! Shampoo grit her teeth. "Leave Ranma alone!" Oh, that smile, it was sad, so sad and its sorrow and regret pulled at her heart so. The bronze skin around his eyes crinkled with the tragic smile, laughed and made it look as if he were about to weep at the same time. "I wish I could," the Devil said to her, and she believed him when he said that. The effort was incredible, and she was weeping with the strain of forcing herself to hate this man. "Magic in my head," Shampoo cursed as she wiped at her eyes. "You messing with my head!" He shook his head, looking even more forlorn as he did so. "You know that's not true." And she did and so a part of her tried to hate him for it even more. She dug her knuckles into her temples, trying to make the pain a means of focusing when she heard him say, "I love him too, dear girl." Because that, too, was the truth and she hated it, hated hearing that voice thick with emotion. With the emotions like her own, the feelings that meant everything to her, the complicated tangle that she felt for Ranma so strongly that it kept her away from her home, kept her here and wanting to make this her home instead. "I want you," he said to her, "to come to me, three days from now. You will not be alone, Akane and Ukyo will be there, too." Shampoo wrapped her arms about herself, crying. "This just dream," she whispered to herself. "You not real!" "Oh, it is a dream," he told her. "But it is real and so am I, my dear. You know, you really are beautiful, inside and out, and smart and strong. All of you are. It's not a wonder that Ranma is having such a difficult time between you." The stranger in white was leaning against one of the gnarled, deformed looking trees in the yard. Two rows of those trees lined the path leading up to the Temple, monstrous, absurd-looking trees. Knots and galls swelled at the roots like so many cancers, and the leafless branches spread out like pleading arms with scarred stumps where the fingers should have been. The trees looked like pain; Shampoo had never seen anything like them before. It bothered her that she had to look away from him to regain control of herself. It was weakness; shameful. "Stupid Devil!" she yelled at him and clenched her fists. "You just thing of shadows! Weak!" Oh and he smiled. "I am older than the oldest dust of this world. But humans have always surprised me; always. It was a human who wrote these words, and I could not better say in a hundred languages what he had to say in his own paltry one." The words were in a language Shampoo should not have understood, but in this dream, she did. "And I will show you something different from either Your shadow in the morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust." And, oh yes, she was afraid. Afraid of what lay behind the giant's dark, dark eyes as he spoke to her quietly in beneath the great cloudless sky above them. "Do you love him enough to face that fear, little girl?" "Fancy words mean nothing to me," Shampoo spat when she finally stopped trembling. He crossed those massive arms over his chest and grinned at her. "Just show up at the appointed time, Daughter of the Amazons. I will be waiting in the waking world. Bring your weapons." All during their date together, Ranma noticed how Shampoo was often withdrawn, how she would stop and close her eyes and sigh. She did not tell him of her dream either. When she would notice him watching her, she would give him a wan, lovely sad smile and draw close to him, trembling, needing to touch him to reassure herself that he was real, but hesitating, still a little afraid to push him away with her eagerness. The part of her that was still unsure, the part that had twitched and bled ever so quietly all those old times when he only pushed her away... She wondered how long that would last. She wanted to see the day when that fear would be gone... she wanted... "What's wrong?" Ranma finally asked her. "Don't know." "You're crying." "Uh-huh." He drew her to sit at a bench beside him, and sighed. "There seems to be a lot of that going around these days. Do you want something to drink?" Shampoo nodded. When she was sure that Ranma was too far to hear, she shuddered once, whispering, "I don't want to die." She shook her head. "I won't die! I am an Amazon!" Then Ranma was in front of her again, that look of naked concern on his face, and everything just felt better, like it would all work out in the end. Of course it would work out in the end! It always did! She wiped the tears from her eyes abruptly with the blue scarf he had given to her. It was a rich, dark material that shimmered at the edges, and it did bother her sometimes to make a mess of it, but it was his and that was what mattered. She drained the paper cup of water that Ranma brought to her with a few hasty swallows, and tossed it at him, almost catching him on the end of his nose. He just barely managed to bat it away with the back of his hand (directly into a trash can, of course). "Hey!" "Husband slow today!" she teased. Ranma saw how alive she was again and grinned. Everything was going to be okay, of course it was! "You got lucky 'sall!" "Oh?" Shampoo's eyes gleamed with a distinctly predatory light and he backed a few steps away nervously... A furious exchange of movements followed, arms and fingers darting and circling and striking, and soon they were both reduced to a rolling, giggling mass. "Secret Amazon pressure point tickle strike!" Shampoo yelled, and then the stalemate was over and he was completely helpless, squirming and gasping beneath her. Eventually, she had mercy on him, and they just looked at each other, giggling, still close and hot and sweaty and supremely determined to ignore the looks of disapproval occasional passersby gifted them with. Finally, Ranma had his breath back, but just as he parted his lips to speak, she pressed a rough finger gently against his lips. "I love you," Shampoo told him simply, quietly. "You understand, yes? Do anything for you, anything at all - I do all that, 'kay?" She pressed her palm tightly against his mouth when his lips fluttered again to speak. "No say anything. Don't, I mean. Want Ranma to... I want you to understand. Love you. No matter what happen. Happens, I mean." A kiss, deep and slow and soft - it took his breath away. "It always been my choice to love you," she said, "you understand? Thank you for letting me win." Shampoo stood up, and pulled him to his feet, kissing him one more time, madly, deeply, thrillingly soft. "Now, we watch that movie, 'kay?" His legs were limp as she pulled him along, laughing at the bright flush of his cheeks. Neither noticed how, from a not-so-far-away rooftop watched a figure in gleaming white robes, with blades and chains hanging from his baggy sleeves. And as that figure leaped into the sky, long black hair streaming behind him as he prepared to strike, neither of them saw how another dressed in clothes just as white flew up to meet the first man. The stranger was large and he was fast and strong - and none of Mousse's blades could seem to touch him and - It was a perfect throw, Mousse knew. Four tiny razor-spikes of steel all flying straight for the other's face with enough force and speed to punch through a tree trunk. There was the sharp 'clink' of metal striking metal, and his eyes caught the briefest flicker of the red steel studs on the stranger's gloves. The thrown weapons shattered in mid-air, and Mousse extended from his hands a set of spinning chains weighted at the ends, a weapon deadly either in close combat or at longer ranges often used by assassins because of its concealability. There was a flicker, a moment of disorientation so fast he did not notice the pain. His hands were bleeding... They descended into a narrow alleyway just as Ranma and Shampoo passed the corner with only the soft sound of rustling cloth accompanying them. It was over, just like that, thought Mousse. And Shampoo would never know... "I can't let you interfere with my son any further," said the huge man as he pushed Mousse's face into concrete with his foot against Mousse's neck. The adversary had been faster like the wind and just as impossible to touch, with the fierce strength of a hurricane. Mousse's glasses were crushed and out of reach, and he just could not move. The smell of garbage was strong in his nostrils and the wet heat trickling down his legs made him groan. Shameful, he berated himself, shameful! The blurry outline of the giant's boot rose up and Mousse closed his eyes, expecting his neck to be broken, weeping as he thought of what a meaningless death this would be. And his eyes widened, bulged, his back arched with the incredible pain and he wondered why he could not scream as the Devil in white systematically broke Mousse's appendages. "You shall fly again, little bird. But not for a while. Be glad that you yet live." He did not feel the final blow to the back of his head, and it would be weeks before Mousse would remember his own name as he woke in the sterile white bed of a hospital. Weeks more passed before he remembered enough to tell the others what had happened to him. And a year and a half before he had the strength to fight Ranma again, to try to kill him for all that had happened. It took even more time than that, a very long time indeed for Ranma to reconstruct all the events that had happened, to decipher from the stories of others and the little fragments of old conversations and the little secrets hidden in the diaries and journals of others the scope of the events that transpired in those last days of his youth. The days that passed so quickly. Investigations into the past, sometimes with the aid of magic and sometimes with simple or not so simple detective work, these formed the basis for the visions which he wove his memories into. Ranma relived those days in his head often, replayed them over and over with perfect clarity and pain. The pain and the anger, the sorrow, these emotions were not to be denied - a lesser martial artist might say that emotion is weakness, that it takes away from the strategically controlled power of the Art. When Ranma mastered the True Path of Fists, he learned that, as with many things, the key to mastery was balance. To forget emotion and feelings completely is crippling, it weakens will and determination - to let emotion and feelings take control of the self was just as crippling as it weakens the power of the mind to analyze and synthesize data. The trick to emotions was using them to strengthen oneself without losing control to the maelstrom of colors, the black and purple and brown and yellow streaks of emotion that burned brightly in any man's chi. And that was what he did for years, remembered and re-focused the old hates, the old fears and sorrows over and over, riding the crest of their intensity and accepting them all into himself while staying Master of it all. Bent and folded and hammered and re-hammered them, like a master swordsmith working the steel into a blade like no other. The others had grown old and forgotten, except for Cologne who was most vengeful of all and clung to life for one purpose alone, to wait for word that Ranma had found vengeance. The others had their own lives to live for, or were too weak or too shocked, but Cologne was strong still and old and all her future, all her hopes lay in Shampoo and then it was all... Oh, they were all so sad, so very sad at the incredible loss! And no one could do anything, no one could do more or less than blame him and of course he had to leave, what reason did he have to stay? Ranma hoped that the intensity of his lost love, of his fury, his loss, he hoped that all this would give him the strength to face the Devil in white, who he knew must have millennia upon millennia of emotions and experiences to muster in this technique of his own devising. All too soon, he was done examining the words written in letters of moonlight bound by covers of night, and it was time. He might never be ready, he might never be so powerful, who knew how long his lifespan was in comparison to that giant stranger... His chance was upon him at last, the chance that, while it would not redeem the losses of the past, might at least do his memories of them the honor they deserved. Easy enough to tear a few scales from the Midgard serpent that circled the earth, easy enough to find the Kraken's ink and a fang from Fenris. It took some time, but Ranma managed to persuade Dream and Death to lend him their sigils. He scattered them about him and then he spoke the runes and found himself - In the place of his dreams, dark shadow and only that. He felt the attack approaching him and sank into the currents and rivers of the True Path, of the flow of chi all around even in this desolate place, an abandoned corner of the Limbo between Heaven, Hell, Earth and Dreams. Here, they were beings of pure energy and willpower, here, entire worlds could be created and destroyed from the same emptiness Creation itself was spun from. It was terrible, it was incredible, the sheer strength that the Devil possessed, thousands upon thousands of years of experiences and his own personal history and the sublime bliss of the memories from when he still dwelt in Heaven and the unutterable agony of being flung into Hell. And for a moment, Ranma doubted that his paltry lifetime of mortal hurts and joys could match it. And he faltered, strength and speed weakening. At this level of combat, death only took a moment, the kill was faster than thought itself, the kill was at the speed of the soul... It would only take one blow to end it all, just one, but his father beat him down slowly, a hundred weak, battering blows when any one of them should have finished him. With each painful strike against his dream flesh, jagged pain filled him, the pain of the Devil's own memories, of sufferings and loss and a personal Hell beyond mortal imagining. The whole while there was the giant's laughter, mocking, sorrowful, painful as it echoed in his ears over and over. "Is that all, my son? Come, come! Your three fiancées gave me a better battle than this! Only, I suppose, unlike them, you will not whimper when you die! Just like Ryoga whimpered and begged when I took back the power I had lent to him! Surely you won't whimper now, after whimpering so long with every passing day? Is it not such a relief to know that it was all in vain?" And oh, Ranma thought, how the memories burned! Finding their broken bodies, the bloodstains washing out of the stone tiles from the rain, the quiet little smiles on their lifeless faces, still beautiful. The sight of Ryoga trembling in a straitjacket, weak and drained and completely lost, not even despair and anger left in those empty eyes. Akane's sisters weeping, accusing him. Cologne's quiet sigh of dignified despair, Kuno's accusations, everyone's eyes on him, telling him without words how he had failed to protect them. They flared fresh and new and then he was a hundred, a thousand times more than he had been and then it did not matter how weak he was, how his blood poured from his mouth and nose and ears, only that he needed to do this for them! He blazed a furious flaming black and flew into the immense, blinding face of his father, the Devil in white, screaming, "I loved them! I loved them true and you took everything, everything!" Focus absolute, chi focused to a razor's edge and beyond, his black fist punched into the Devil's white breast, pushed through and out through ethereal flesh and bone and - And the Devil in white, he had smiled and wept and cried, "Thank you, my son!" and - And it all turned white, white beyond the ability of the soul to encompass, to imagine, to absorb. Ranma felt his father's broken heart beating in his hands, felt himself swimming in the ocean of that fallen angel's blood, and screamed as the ancient thing's memories invaded his own. He was lost in it, eternities of wandering and loss and brief intervals when it seemed that even the Devil could find love, could have a family, all too short and far in between - And finally, he understood what it was all for. Too weak to pull himself out of limbo, it was Death who came to him next, in the darkness, as he clutched her sigil in his hand and moaned her secret name. "So is that it? Am I dead and all my father's plans for naught?" Ranma asked the pale, black-haired beauty in leather pants and a black tank top. She smiled and shook her head, and drew the silver ankh from his hand and replaced it about her neck. "Sorry, kid," Death said, "I'm afraid things aren't going to be quite so easy. Your pops made a deal with me, too, you know. This was apart of it." And Ranma saw in the Devil's memories that were now his that it was all true. She touched him and he felt black-feathered wings spread wide from his back... He spent many nights recovering in the abode of Dream and the company of his mirthful sister. Matthew, once raven and the new librarian, handed Ranma the book of his father's life, and the plans and the stories and the dreams never written. Then he felt that he had spent enough time in dreams, and raising wide his new (old) wings, he asked them to return him to the world of man. Dream waved goodbye and then Ranma closed his eyes and spread his wings, as Death guided him back to the waking world. There was no sensation of movement, not even a hint of a breeze against his face, but when he opened his eyes, they stood by a fountain in a park in daylight. "That's her?" Ranma asked. "The girl from... his book?" There was a breeze then, and it sprayed his face with but a few droplets of water from the fountain, enough to cool but not enough to change. "Yes. Pretty, isn't she?" Death whispered in his ear, amused at the blush spreading across his cheeks. "She's so young!" whispered Ranma wonderingly as he folded his wings away into shadows. Death laughed. "You are a pervert, aren't you? Sixty years old and in love with a barely pubescent little girl!" "I'm not in love!" The white-skinned lady in black grinned at him. "Who do you think you're lying to, hon? No one lies to me." She turned from him a moment to smile sweetly at a man pushing a little old cart along the sidewalk. "Four squidballs, please!" "For you," the portly little man said, "it's free! Here, have another stick, too, and a cookie! And some fishballs, too..." He walked off, happier and smiling after pressing a half-dozen more little articles of foodstuff upon her. Ranma clapped a hand to his forehead dramatically. "Unbelievable! You're shameless, I say!" He smiled at her as she responded to him. Her mouth was still full of spicy, vinegar-dipped processed squid meat, when she said: "Look you, I know what you were like when you first got your curse - at least with me, people just love me an' want to give me stuff. You wiggled your cute li'l butt an' giggled an' everything!" She burped after polishing off another stick of squidballs. "So don't you talk 'shameless' to me!" It was a wondrous spring day, the sun high in the sky, its heat dissipated by cooling breezes full of promise. "I love you, do you know that?" he said after a time. "It should bother me, but it doesn't." "Kid, everyone loves me. They can't help it. Now what are you going to do about that pretty young thing over there who's so depressed all the time without knowing why? So unhappy and desperately lonely, as if she was missing something from her soul that's familiar and seems just out of reach. Watcha gonna do, wiseguy?" He deftly whisked a few of her fishballs into his mouth and gulped them down, drawing a semi-indignant shriek from her, "Hey, those are mine! Git some of your own, you bozo!" She kicked his shin with her shiny steel-toed boot. Looking down at her fondly (he was about a foot taller), Ranma said, "You really are cute, aren't you?" Death grinned at him again. "Doncha forget it, mister!" She promptly offered him a stick of fishballs. "Want a couple more?" He shook his head, returning his gaze to the young girl wandering amongst the trees, kicking up the brown and yellow and red fiery carpet of fallen leaves with each step. Fiery like her hair, fiery like so many things he remembered about the fiancées he'd had so little time to know. "What should I do, really?" He said it as though it were a moan. "What do you think, Ranma? Right now, Hitomi is eleven years old. This is the first year that her martial arts skill will start increasing faster and faster. All her life, she has felt alone, somehow different from everyone else. Faster, stronger, and at the same time, awkward in the certainty that all her peers seemed childish to her. Something about her is haunted and strange and older than her age. She doesn't understand it yet, how could she? She hates it, this strangeness that seems to poison how she acts with everyone else. This is the first year that she will surpass her adult instructors in the Art." Ranma bit his lip and turned away. "I do know how she feels, I suppose," he admitted warily. "Spiffy keen!" she exclaimed. "At least that's a little progress. But you shouldn't have to fight your nature so much, y'know?" They looked at each other for a long, long time. "I'm not ready yet," he said at last. Death nodded slowly as she took a dainty little bite out of her cookie. "And neither is she, kid. But she does need you." "I will protect her. I will. But I won't come to her yet." The white-skinned woman sighed, "I believe you mean it, too. But you do have duties, Ranma, really you do." "Can't I just," he paused, waving his hands feebly. "Well, duty's a funny thing, kid. It has this way of chasing after you when you try to ignore it. Your father found that out the hard way, and spent the rest of his existence running from it." Death sat on the ledge about the fountain at the entrance to the park, and wiped her fingers carefully with a little white handkerchief. The schoolgirl they were watching had left the park by then and crossed the street, and by the time the next wave of traffic has passed that corner, she was long out of view. But Ranma could still feel her, could see the lingering traces of her aura in the air, the brightest and darkest of colors tinting her footprints to the sight of his power. "You should forgive him, you know," Death said. Ranma clenched his fists and sat down next to her. "I may know all the reasons now. But forgive? What right did he have to do all that to us! To me, to them, to her! Did you see how sad they were in those last few days?" She rolled her eyes, tossed her wild mane of pitch black hair. "My brother found you quite interesting those days. Yes, of course we watched you. And them. But Ranma, all life has suffering, what makes you think the lot of you were any more special because of it? What made you special is what you were, deep inside. There were happy moments, too, you can't deny that. And the tempering flames of it all, did they not make you what you are now?" "And should I be glad about what I am now?" his expression twisted, and if the passersby were to look at Ranma then, they would have seen the shadow of his wings spreading angrily. But no one looked, and briefly, Ranma considered asking Death to drop the spell concealing him and letting everyone see what a monster he was. Her expression turned serious, eyes sharp and bright. "You're not a monster," she said to him. "I was there at every beginning and every ending, and I know monsters by sight and touch and smell and taste. Don't flatter yourself! Do you think I and my brother stay with you because we need to? Because somehow, you are dangerous?" She stood and marched closer to him, looked down at him, eyes flashing with a dread power older than the most ancient of dead things and younger than every newborn yet to be born. "Are you so arrogant to think that a little thing like you is worth the combined attention of me and my little brother at once?" Ranma could not look at her then, did not want to see what there was in those eternal eyes unveiled. "I'm sorry," he choked on the word. Her eyes softened, as did the curve of her shiny, black lips. "A fine pair we are, aren't we? Dressed all in black on such a warm, sunny day, you sitting there like that and me looking down on you. People walking by prob'ly think we're boy an' girlfriend having an argument." He frowned. "Trust you to think of that." Death whacked the side of his head with a friendly, familiar bop. "Are you still so afraid of what others think? Really! You are the most exasperating creature! I can see why you drove your old fiancées crazy all the time!" But he saw that she was smiling as she said that and somehow he knew that it was all alright between them again. "I'm sorry I'm such a clumsy little kid, you old lady." She sniffed aristocratically and stared down her nose at him. "Just goes to show how little maturity is appreciated." Death turned on her heel and was about to start marching away, but Ranma caught her hand and squeezed ever so softly. "Thanks for saving me. Really. And I'm glad you don't go for the quiet and mysterious thing like your brother. You're much more... comforting this way. Familiar." She was still looking away, but he could tell that she was smiling when she said, "Any time, Ranma. But don't you come to me or my little bro' askin' an' beggin' for favors every other day when your job gets hard! Don't whine so much when you've got so much going for you! It really gets on my nerves sometimes how people forget that their suffering is not unique, that it does not make them any more deserving than anyone else. I got a job, too, y'know? And I've seen some pretty miserable, pretty tragic deaths, I'll have you know. What do you think it's like to be related to Despair?" She took a deep breath and squeezed back just a little. "I like you, ya know. Too bad you're engaged again already..." Then he was alone. Ranma took to the rooftops, and stayed just out of view as his mind turned inward to those reconstructed visions of the past. There were times when the pictures and the voices were so clear that he wondered if he was not subconsciously weaving magic to view the real past instead of merely imagining it. There was magic in his blood and it had grown only stronger with the acquisition of his new (old) wings. But then he realized that these were new, these were the memories of the Devil in white himself... "Mirror mirror on the wall." She sighed as she stared at the reflection, heart heavier and heavier as she thought of the rest of the day to come. Unlatched the windows and opened them, looked out at the late afternoon sun. And tied the white ribbon in her hair for one last time. Her lips trembled, her eyes became blurry. "Will you remember meat least, Ranma?" The ends of the white silk stirred, fluttered slowly in the gentle breeze. She thought of the days that would be forgotten if she lost, of swings and a rock and the shade of a tree so tall. When he was a child and she was a child and there was nothing beyond the horizon except infinite futures. "Goodbye." She watched her lips move as she said it. Then, Ukyo tidied up her room, pulled on her bandoleer of throwing spatulas, and walked down the stairs to where the others had been waiting. "So you had the dreams, too, right?" Akane said. The other girls nodded, one fingering the rough denim of her jeans, still a new and unfamiliar sensation to her, the other sighing as she brought them the slowly cooling plates of okonomiyaki she had prepared some minutes before, the scent rich in the air. "And none of us have told him..." she whispered almost to herself. "I no want to worry Ranma," said Shampoo. "I don't want to, either," Ukyo said as she slid into the seat beside Akane. "He's got enough on his mind already." No one new quite what to say then. Not one of them felt like looking each other in the eyes. There were too many emotions boiling just beneath the surface and it was hard enough staying in control. "Come on, the okonomiyaki's on me - don't let it get cold!" They all ate, all of them just a little mechanical, eyes looking some place far away. They each did this in a slightly different fashion, Ukyo daintily cutting hers into little bite-sized pieces and chewing them ever so slowly, Akane pushing hers around absent-mindedly, occasionally tearing loose a piece with her chopsticks and bringing it to her lips, Shampoo wolfing down hers in rapid, large bites. There was an unspoken agreement that the silence between them would be maintained until the last person finished her okonomiyaki. Outside, the sun was setting and it tinged the heavy clouds in the distance with deep violet and maroon highlights. The sound of cicadas sang in the air. Akane sighed. Ukyo murmured softly to herself, "I don't want him hurt." The purple-haired amazon sitting opposite her brought her palms down heavily against the table top, "I love Ranma, too!" They gave each other searching, not-hostile-but-not-quite-friendly looks. They were seeing in each other the parts common to them all that they had never known was there before or never wanted to know of before, and if they marveled at the similarities between them, they also hated those samenesses, at least a little, sparks in their eyes. Was it the sameness between them that attracted the man they loved, or was it the differences? They were sure they did not want to know. It was quiet again for a long time, and then the sun dropped beneath the distant crest of the horizon, and outside the restaurant's window, the streetlights sputtered alight. No one was quite sure who said the next words, maybe they all did, but it did not matter anymore: "We all love him." And they were all thinking about the last several days, far too few of them, those days when Ranma had been kinder and more attentive and considerate of them than they had ever experienced in their lives. When a new quietness sometimes stole its way behind his eyes, and he would look sad and afraid but so very determined. And all the while, they could feel his growing power, the air of something huge hidden inside, building and building. Something throbbed between them, a heavy, buzzing feeling, as they remembered him, each in her own way. "So we'll all be there, right?" Ukyo said, forcing her mouth into a ghastly almost-smile. When Akane put a hand on her shoulder, Ukyo bit her lip and tugged at Shampoo and they found themselves holding each other carefully, trembling and a little afraid of each other but more certainly more afraid of other worse things they needed to face. There were choked-off sounds, maybe someone was crying but no one paid attention to that. Fiercely, Shampoo said, "We all be there." Akane nodded. "For Ranma." How he would have wanted to be there, if Ranma had known then! How he would have held on to them, begged them not to leave his sight. How hurt he would have been to have been kept out of it. How much more hurt afterwards that it was all, he was so sure, all his fault. But it was the night just before the return of the Devil in white, and he was lying in bed, listening to the quiet sounds of nothing. They had all been there before him earlier that day. Watching him. "I'll tell you," he had faltered. "I will tell you tomorrow. After the fight." Quietly, they each said goodbye and said that they would wait for him to come tomorrow. Afterwards. And how could he have known that they could see his indecision, could feel his feelings for all of them. Could sense the confusion, the lack of focus. And were each hiding the fear, the fear that without that focus so vital to his new Art, finally, finally, Ranma might lose... "Good," the giant said, smile wide and sad. "You are all here." "What is this about!" Ukyo yelled across the field of aged stone tiles, hefting her battle spatula in guard position. This night was cold, cold and dry and an icy wind swept down about the temple, bringing with it the promise of bitter rain. Oh, his smile, Akane thought, struck again by the similarity, by the warmth and the sadness tempered by cruelty. "A challenge!" "Of what?" Shampoo had been silent the whole while, had not spoken since they last ate together, only held a sword in one hand and a mace in the other, her mouth a grim line. "For Ranma's life," she said to the others. And Akane bit her lower lip as her hands nervously tugged at the ends of the black belt about her waist, tugged the knot tighter and tighter. She looked at the others, Ukyo dressed in her usual tights and blue top, and Shampoo in white silk pants and shirt, twin dragons worked in gold and silver thread writhing up her legs and along her arms and down her back. Akane was clothed in her yellowed old white gi, barefoot and sweaty with anxiety and cold. "All of you may come at me at once, however you should desire. Hold nothing back; kill me if you can! Win and Ranma will face nothing tomorrow other than the decision of which of you he loves the most... Lose, and I have your lives. Lose, and..." Akane yelled, "Yeah, yeah, so we'll die if we lose! Get on with it!" The giant ran his fingers through his hair, eyes reflecting the faint blue light in the air as he chuckled. "If you lose, then the three of you must swear to accept the bargain I have to offer." "Why should we accept that," said Ukyo, "you've told us you're the Devil! Why should we?" Thunder rang in the distance. He laughed again. "You have already accepted it by not telling Ranma. You are here. You have accepted it in your hearts because you are afraid of what I might have in store for him tomorrow, and even if the three of you are not sure if you could defeat me, you love him, love him so much that you'll do anything now! Perhaps even kill the Thing who caused him so much suffering! Because I gave him the curse, I charted his life! I sold my son to Genma Saotome in exchange for his pathetic little soul!" He was screaming the last of those words as his body moved through the whirlwind of their attacks, and any other man (but he was not a man! And that only made him laugh harder...) except perhaps his own son would have been dead immediately. Their attacks, uncoordinated as they were, were guided by a fierce, focused protectiveness for his son that gave them strength and speed and perhaps a little more as they each glowed with faint red and blue streaks of power. And then, almost miraculously, the three of them began to fight as one, attacking in skilled concert as though they had been meant to fight like this all their lives. Their eyes all shone with the same, gleaming fury of their hearts. Sword blade sparked as it skipped off the steel knuckles on his left glove and as he parried a slashing spatula strike with his other forearm in a short, twisting arc from belly level to shoulder, simultaneously kicking out a curved leg to tangle it with an incoming front-side power kick. The Devil laughed even more as the first of their blows began to slip through his defenses. And then the thunder rang loud and near. Ranma blinked, eyes filling with tears as he slipped deeper into his father's memories... Deeper, to a desert, an empty, empty valley with nothing but sand and rock in every direction. The Devil had said so very reasonably to a much younger Genma Saotome than Ranma remembered, "Ah, so your son died. Tragic! Very tragic! But what did you expect, bringing a five-year-old to this place of death, a desert of bones bleached white by the sun and populated with monsters from ancient myths?" And Genma shook his head, weeping over the little body at his feet. "It was supposed to be a good training ground," he repeated helplessly, over and over, croaking with thirst and pain. The stranger was almost blinding to look at, his clothes painfully white under the burning sun. In those eyes was understanding. Not forgiveness, but... At first, Genma had thought the man another hallucination from the hunger, thirst and guilt gnawing at his guts and heart and throat. The heat caused the air to throb with blurry, shimmering waves, and he felt sure that he must have been dead, and that this stranger was perhaps an Angel. Then the man said to him, and it was a man, thought Genma, a tall, muscular colossus of a man, "I have a proposition for you. I am leaving this dead place - the memories are too much for me." "Why?" Genma croaked, fallen to his knees, "Oh! Oh, what am I going to tell Nodoka!" "My wife died just a few days ago... and I have a son who I cannot bear to look at just now, he is so much like his mother," continued the Devil almost placidly as he pulled the smaller man to his feet. "Listen to me! How would you like to have another chance at raising a son? A son whose heritage is strength and thunder and cunning? What do you say to that, eh?" After a few moments, Genma's knees wobbled and he pitched forward to be caught by the white-clad giant. And the Devil casually hoisted him up into a fireman's carry on his back, not straining in the slightest despite Genma's even then considerable bulk. "Isn't it a good deal?" pressed the Devil. Genma was fading in and out of unconsciousness. "My son... can't be dead... can't be..." His heart beat so very slowly, a dull throbbing in rhythm with the drumbeats of the sand sliding down the dunes just beyond the mouth of the dead valley of broken rocks worn to smooth, sleek lines by the howling winds at night. "Yes, I think you will do quite well, Genma," said the Devil. He passed a hand over the other man's eyes, closing them. "I shall give you my own son to raise in the Art, to call your own. Nodoka need never know... and this son will grow to be the greatest the world will ever see. Would you like that? The greatest martial artist in the world!" "I... I..." "And you won't even remember that this happened, won't even remember the death of your real son. Who would want such painful memories? Don't you want to forget?" His voice was kindly, his eyes were merciful and seemed all-knowing. "F-forget..." muttered Genma, a sack of dead weight on the other's back. Oh but there was a part of him even then, the stringy, tough survivor, hard and invincible all his life, that wanted to live, wanted to survive. It was that part of him that forced his eyes open, that nodded limply against the huge stranger's neck. "Oh, I do want to forget..." And since this was just a fever dream, another hallucination, it was okay, wasn't it? Wasn't it, Nodoka dear? I'd never hurt Ranma, not really... "It is a good deal," Genma whispered weakly. "Splendid," murmured the Devil as his footsteps brought them into a hidden place opened like a gash in the cliff-side and the sudden darkness was soothing, the air so cool and moist against Genma's parched skin. "Splendid." "Ah, yes, but first I suppose I must nurse you to health. It would not do for my son's first teacher to die before the lessons had yet to begin. Only you must pay attention to the lesson plan I will lay out for you..." And so Genma would have no memory of being taken into a deep, cold cave where no light ever reached, and no memory of being told the places and training grounds he would bring Ranma to, of being taught to follow his instincts whenever there was the question of survival. Of being taught how to be cruel to his son who was not. All he would remember from the encounter was the vague idea that selling a son was not such a bad thing after all... The memories rushed forward again to the battle, to that moment in time when he had woken up in the middle of the night screaming, knowing he was too late. Now he was there, through the Devil's own eyes. The Devil had decided at last that the game had gone on long enough. He closed his eyes and the Chi sang in his ears, showed him the way to move that his eyes could not see, through the storm of their punches and kicks and slashing blades and crushing blows. Time slowed, everything slowed and he could see even the way the air swirled about their limbs, agitated into swirling turbulence by their movements. Their coming attack was perfect: three different angles, three different heights surrounding him. Any one of those blows could kill or incapacitate. And they could not touch him. It felt to him as though he had all the time to move against them; so slow did their motions seem. He spun on the ball of his right foot, pivoting backwards as he spun and kicked out with his left leg, avoiding Shampoo's low, charging slash that would have cut it off just above the knee. There was a metallic clang only a fraction of a second later, as the heel of his boot slammed heavily against the broad side of Ukyo's spatula with enough force to push her back a step. The Devil continued the long arc of his kick and crashed it down hard against Shampoo's shoulder-blade, sending her to her knees as the suddenly useless arm released the sword. The motion had been rapid enough so that Akane had not been able to stop her own attack, a power knee strike that, because of the suddenly different angle of approach, only glanced against the giant's side instead of shattering his ribs as she had shattered so many concrete blocks before. Akane did not see the perfect position of the Devil's right elbow slicing back, and she spun in the air, flung back by the force of his blow against her collarbone, which was surely broken. Ukyo was still backpedaling, trying to regain her balance when his massive right hand closed around the center of her spatula's grip, tightening painfully around her own right hand as he pulled her towards him with all of his two hundred fifty pounds of solid muscle and bone. The wrenching jerk bent her weapon slightly as he slammed his forehead against her, crushing her nose and splattering her blood about over her cheeks and mouth. He kicked out once more with his left foot, this time against the ground to launch himself in an impossibly high somersault just one brief moment before Shampoo's other hand would have brought her mace crashing down on to his right foot and reducing it to powder. Twenty feet away from them, he landed gracefully, bleeding from cuts along his ribs and right shoulder and neck that were all too shallow to touch the muscles or arteries in those places, and only lightly bruised elsewhere. Oh yes, and his left boot was slowly filling with blood - it would appear that he had not dodged Shampoo's attack quite so perfectly. But the trickle was much too slow and that injury mattered as little as the others. He let go the flows of chi and time sped up once more, enough for him to speak; enough for him to laugh. And he did laugh as his opponents scrambled to their feet, Akane and Shampoo each with an arm dangling limply, Ukyo shaking her head, dizzy from the pain that radiated all through her skull and ringing ears. Even then his laughter was warm, comforting and not the slightest bit mocking. When the light permitted and they could see beneath the heavy ridge of his brow, there was only kindly affection in those tired, dark, dark eyes. "A splendid effort! Splendid! You have heart; all of you do! But you know that you cannot defeat me, not one at a time and not all at once - no, you cannot defeat me at all! Shall you not yield and hear my bargain now?" He sounded like their fathers, like every father in the world, and like their mothers, and grandparents and teachers and the kindly doctor or medicine man that had treated their hurts and the secret little imaginary friends that had comforted them when they were sad as children. He sounded reasonable, he sounded loving, he sounded sad that he had needed to hurt them so. The thunder cracked once more; was it closer or farther? None of the three young women could tell. They looked at each other, bloodied and steadily growing weaker, and nodded. Dropping her large war spatula, Ukyo threw a withering two-fisted barrage of her smaller sharp-edged throwing ones as Shampoo and Akane charged him once more, their determined faces lit by the occasional flashes of distant lightning. Ranma had stopped, curled up into a little ball atop some rooftop somewhere, under a rain that had just begun. Hands clutched to his eyes, he whispered, "No more. Don't make me see them like this..." "But you must see it, my son." It was his voice, yes, but Ranma knew enough magic to know that this was not the Devil in white, just a construct to guide him through those ageless memories. Still he had to resist the urge to fling out his energies and destroy it, still his hatred was strong and alive and it needed a direction, a target to destroy. "No, please." "But you must. You think you understand, but how could you? Even your Father did not quite understand himself. You wanted to know what really happened, well, here are the memories to show it. You can even feel it every time your fist strikes one of them, feel their blood on your hands." "Finish it, damn you..." There was not truly that much more to see. And yes, he did remember the sensation of each impact against his fists, his feet - it felt as though it was him who did those things to them. For years afterward, he would still dream of hurting them, and being unable to stop himself, for it had all been done, it was in the past. And he felt his father's remorse too, and that only added to it. But what surprised him was the deal. Oh yes, it surprised him. And he truly did not understand how he felt after that. Was he glad? Was he repulsed? What did it mean if his life was planned that far? Was he even his own self? Or was that planned by his father, too? Did that matter? "And now," he said to their broken, shattered forms. "You will listen to my offer. And you will accept it." And the deal, it was too much to refuse - how could they refuse it if this was to be the only way they would see Ranma again? They were desperate, they were so afraid of the darkness, and they were dying. "None of you were ever complete, surely you felt that," he said in that even-toned, logical voice. "Each of you was but a fragment of the whole. I needed you to be the three of you for what had to happen to my son. But now that it has happened, it is time for the three of you to be one, once more." "Thou I took from thy mother and with water from my tears, the tears of the Dragon, I made thee three. Now with the water from the tears that are thine three, I make thee one." He paused, smiling hesitantly. "If thou wouldst accept the bargain, of course, only then. Just as thou accepted the bargain, all those years ago when I resurrected thee from death and asked thee if thou would desire not one, but a three-fold life." He touched their tears, each of them, and kissed their foreheads, and gave them back the memories of an ancient witch's lifetime. "I knew you would grow to love my son. It was not just the deal driving that, yes? Now I offer the bargain anew, that the three of you might be whole again and love with a whole woman's heart." They knew that he was misleading them to an extent, that this would not be nearly so simple as he made it sound. That this would be painful and unbelievably so - that much they remembered from when once they were a powerful sorceress named Circe, brought low by time and chance. As painful as it had been the first time, when her soul was torn in three. Because she had slain herself after the death of her one true love... whose soul was captured by the giant in white, bargained away from death with the promise of a service he would reveal to no one else. All this planning, across so very many years, just so there would be someone to take his place when he grew too tired of the endless centuries, tired of God's unending demands of him. Someone strong and wild and untamable, who would embody the spirit of man's rebellion. The source of man's constant driving hunger, the subtle need to break the rules, the source of all the questions of "Why? Why can't it be better than this?" A fountain of change and suffering. He needed someone strong enough to bear the duties, to fight off those who would influence his place as humanity's wild unbreakable spirit of wandering. And the final test for this new avatar - why, what could be more elegant than to see if the circle could close, if the child could slay the very giant who begot him? There were other children, others in different circumstances and different times, each a seed of his longed-for destruction. Only they had all failed, and now there was only one... And for Ranma, the guilt of loving again, at last, started to fade away, as he thought of that young girl he could watch grow into the woman an old, old, forgotten part of himself remembered. --- Now she was fourteen. It was dizzying, it was incredible. Because Hitomi just started to talk to him. And talk to him. It was so easy, it was as if she had been waiting all her life for someone to listen just the way he was, with both eyes on her, absorbed in what she was saying, and just truly listening, with all his being. At some point, someone, she was not sure if it was herself or him, had grasped the other's hands and kept it in a soft, warm grip. And the whole time, she stared into the deep otherness of his eyes. Something about him was so familiar... She told him about being born in London to a Japanese mother and an Irish father. And about how she had been only seven years old when they had divorced and her mother had brought her to Japan to live with their family. She had been sad, so sad, and needed escape somehow so - so there was her mother's martial arts style. Which she learned and studied and poured herself into with a fury that never left her. She talked about being lonely, about having no friends - there was an unknown in her that made it difficult for other children to understand. She stood out too much, was too outspoken, spoke with an accent, was gangly and too tall and with red hair and green eyes and too fair skin that made the incongruity of her almond-shaped eyes the focus of her appearance. She had gotten into fights often without knowing why, had needed to transfer schools over and over. Until she had transferred to her current high school. Then the dreams had begun, dreams from three different points of view, and she could bear anything, do anything necessary to stay in that school. Waiting for him. It was sunset before she noticed his tears and she touched his cheeks, marveling at the softness of his stubble. His short, black hair looked so soft, and she had to touch that too. And the rest of his face, feeling the shapes and lines with the soft contact of her fingertips. She tugged his head down and briefly pressed her lips softly against his. Shyness did not matter anymore, embarrassment did not matter anymore. She was rotating her thumbs slowly over his knuckles, gently, tenderly, when she whispered, "Your turn." Slowly, gently, he withdrew his hands so that he could embrace her. "I've been waiting too. I've been waiting so long." He hesitated, shoulders shaking. "Tell me your story," Hitomi pressed him gently. "I will listen." She kissed him once more, and slowly, slowly, Ranma began his story. "There was once a creature dressed in white, long, long ago." He paused again, unsure if the thread of memories was not worn a little thin. "He asked God a question, the first question of all; and the question was this..." And he went on and on. Yes, the memories were there, the memories were his, so many memories... And nothing mattered so much as this, to have someone who would listen. Who would listen to his story. And might perhaps love him for just a moment, as he loved all humanity, and give him just a brief moment of rest from it. --- THE END