The return goo It had been raining for most of the day. It was almost closing time. The manager was tidying up behind the grill area - she was near her twenties. The door slowly slid open, and a man entered the restaurant. He bowed and smiled at the manager - the manager bowed and smiled in return. The person who entered the room was about the same age as the manager. He gently placed his umbrella beside the door and took a seat beside the grill area. The manager saw that there was sadness in his face - she left what she was doing, went to the door and placed the sign as closed. She approached the man and hugged him tight. "When did you arrive? It has been a year since you left. And why the long face? And why did you go away in the first place? I am very sorry, I should have asked first if you ate already, it is just that you just disappeared and you didn't even write." She then turned on the grill and began preparing food for her guest. "I just arrived, and for the reason for me leaving, I'll tell you later. It was a long trip and I am really hungry. This was the only place I knew where I can get good food and someone to talk to who might understand." "Understand what?" "Someone who might understand why I left. And besides you are the only person who I can talk to about this and could possibly help me." As the manager placed the food in front of him, "Why not join me eat - I'll tell you why I left. And I am really sorry for disappearing without any word, for arriving without any notice. And I am saying sorry in advance, because I might take up most of your time with my problem. We had never been close, but I know you are the only one who might understand me." "No need for you to say sorry - you can talk to me anytime." "I went away because I needed some time to think. I needed to go to a place far away from here. I needed to know if what I did was right. I needed to take away my delusions. I really didn't care where I went, just as long as it was far from here. It was in this city that my delusions started and stayed. I needed to get it out of my system, and going away is the only way I knew. I couldn't fight it - my delusions were killing me from inside - there is a battle going on inside my mind. One side clinging to false hopes, the other shouting at me to stop fooling myself." "You got me confused for a while; what delusions are you talking about?" "You know what I mean, clinging to a false hope. I used to believe that I stood a really good chance with her. I lived in my own world where she was mine. I always hoped that we would be together. I clung to those thought for too long that it slowly took over me. Even though I knew I stood no chance, I still kept on hoping. We were not meant to meet in the first place. Some freakish incident just happened that led me to her." "So he has nothing to do with your disappearance?" "No, he is part of the reason that I went away. They really love each other; they just don't say it out aloud. Just look at them when they look at each other. You can see it in their eyes; you can feel something it when they are close together. They try to hide it, but it just comes out. If you observe them, you will see. That is the main reason I left. One day it just hit me, I was trying to go between two people who were really meant to be together. I was making a huge fool of myself, here they are, happy with each other, then I arrive and wreak havoc in their relationship. I made an even bigger fool of myself by thinking that I stood a better chance than he did. They knew each other longer and he knows more about her. I hardly know her and here I am, thinking I stood a better chance compared to him. I am a nobody. I do not exist in her world. I am somebody who is easily ignored. At times I feel that she doesn't even know I exist. I am but a mere shadow. Staying at the back ignored until needed. I am still unsure why I stayed that long, I was barging in their lives, deluding myself with events that can never happen. I needed time to purge out my delusions. That is the summary of my problems, thank you for listening, and your cooking is still the best." "I am always here for my friends. What are your plans now, would you go visit them, I could go with you. I'll bring some food and talk." "I'll probably go there when the rain stops, thank you for your offer. I'd like that. Why not call everybody, I really missed all of you. I have now realized that she can't be mine, but I would really like her to stay as my friend. I really don't want to lose her. if being her friend id the only way that I could be with her, I'll take it." "look, the rain stopped, let's go." ****----****----****----****----****----****----****----****----****---- ****---- the poem below was given to me by a friend The Mysterious thing called "LOVE".... If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart. If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different. If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time. Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them. The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away. Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it in saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN, IT MAY COME AGAIN.